


Pevensie Predicaments

by anne_20



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, F/M, M/M, Slow Build, Suicide, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:22:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 52,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3408761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anne_20/pseuds/anne_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU with older Pevensie siblings.<br/>EDITED AND BEGINNING REWRITTEN 8/11/15<br/>Peter is the sole guardian of his three siblings and he has a problem, Edmund his rebellious and self-destructive brother. He hires Caspian as a live in tutor and hopes this will help ease the tension between them. Caspian is taken with the whole family from the start. Maybe it is because they are something he has never had and he wants to be part of it however vicariously. What surprises him how much he is drawn to the angst ridden Edmund. Edmund on the other hand is just trying to hold himself together and soon it gets worse when Jadis steps in to help.<br/>****All characters are C. S. Lewis’ from Chronicles of Narnia and related movie characters.<br/>**** Based on characters from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, and Dawn Treader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Duty and Honor

**Author's Note:**

> 8/11/15 I've changed the beginning chapter and added edits to the remaining 8 chapters so far. I'll be adding the next chapter very soon.

Peter kept up the ritual of dinner together since his parents’ deaths five years ago, but Edmund continued to silently glowering throughout the meal and it unnerved him more than he would ever admit. He sighed, it was arduous to be the parent, but it was his duty. His brother had been in the car accident with them and he had never been the same since. The girls were just easy. Susan, 20 now, had hardly needed him. She had a firm vision of her life and would do whatever was necessary to achieve it. Lucy at just 15 was simply the heart of family. Peter almost felt he relied on her, more than she on him. That was doubly true of her emotional support of Edmund. They had a special relationship that Peter both envied and encouraged. As much as he loved his brother he could never quite seem to reach him.

“I interview for the tutor position yesterday.” Peter started carefully. He knew Edmund would be mad at him for selecting a tutor without his input, but he really didn’t have much choice in the matter. Besides he would likely veto anyone just on principle. And what made things worse he was the one who needed intense study if he was going to make a decent standardized test grade to get into college.

“We don’t need some stranger moving in here.” Edmund complained, breaking his silence and spinning up immediately.

“It will be nice to have another adult around,” Said Susan.

“Well, the choices were limited, so I made my decision and he will be moving in this weekend.” Peter answered.

“What? You aren’t even giving us a chance to meet the candidates?” Edmund shouted.

“Please calm down, Ed. It really wasn’t much of a selection. If it had been closer, I would have had you and Sue speak to him. As it was Caspian was the only real choice.” Peter explained. All four candidates were qualified, the question became who would be best suited to wrangle an often thorny Edmund. Motivation, not ability was his problem. Although Caspian was not the most qualified something about him was elusive yet appealing. He appeared laid back, but had skillfully steered the interview away from a few direct questions. This was just what made him best suited deal with his obstinate brother.

“So what can you tell us about this ‘Caspian’” Edmund sneered, “Does he even have a last name?”

“Nice Ed, do you really have to be so antagonistic all the time?  Would you just let Peter talk?” Susan countered and made a face at Edmund.

Peter rolled his eyes, “Children, Please!” That garnered a silent glares from both Edmund and Susan. Then he continued, “His name is Miraz Caspian, but he prefers be called by his surname only. He is a first year med school student at UW. And before you ask, no I don’t know him even though we’ll be first years together. He has a double degree in engineering and political science with a minor in biology all completed in just four years. His grades and standard test scores are outstanding.”

Unsurprising his brother was not impressed, “Come on, did you just pick one of your school friends? Are you looking for a clone of yourself? You have nothing to teach me!” He shouted.

“Edmund!” Lucy gasped.

“I have made my decision! Caspian is moving in and he will be tutoring you Edmund!” Peter commanded before he stood up and walked out. 

“Why do you have to be this way Edmund?”  Susan scolded before she too left.

Lucy looked at Edmund with her sympathetic gaze and softly said, “Oh Ed, he should have let you choose, but he _is_ trying.”

Ed had the grace to look slightly ashamed as he said, “He makes it so hard when he just tells me what to do. Doesn’t he understand what it is like…?” He stopped not quite able to vocalize what he meant.

Lucy still somehow understood what he did not, “You know he doesn’t. Please, just for me, can you at least give this Caspian a chance?”

Edmund was still seething about Peter lording over him, but he looked into his little sister’s loving and accepting eyes. She pleaded with him silently and he was swayed by her. “Alight he has a week to change my mind about this whole thing.” 

~ *** ~

The next day Edmund, Susan, and Lucy met Caspian for the first time. Peter invited him over to their family’s large penthouse apartment. It had been the Pevensie home since the 1920s and took up the top floor of a five story apartment building overlooking the UW campus. Over the years it had been improved and modernized. What used to be the servants quarters and was renovated in the 1990’s and would become Caspian’s rooms. He would have what was essentially a two room apartment some distance away from the other bedrooms to himself. 

The interview had been held in the office situated right next to the elevator, so that business meetings would not interfere infringe on the home. The adjacent library led to the home’s living areas. Today Peter led Caspian through the main entryway instead. Then through the grand parlor to the family living room where his siblings were waiting.

The three siblings stood to greet Caspian. They saw a handsome man with had an air of crispness in his dress and manner. This was in contrast to his hair in dark long layers and his slim neat beard. His dark eyes sparkled with charisma. Edmund was disgusted at the way Peter and Susan ate up his act and did not bother to hide his glower when introduced. 

Caspian was immediately taken with Susan’s beauty and she also had that detachment that he always found attractive in a woman. Lucy, who looked more like her older brother with light brown hair instead of blonde and blue eyes, he categorized her as a kind sweet girl. Edmund he found was quite as handsome as Susan was beautiful, but that was not what made him catch his breath. His openly hostile glare was full of an undisguised passionate anger. It was something all too familiar, but that he, Caspian, never allowed himself to indulge in. He let a shocked look flash over his face before schooling his expression and turning back to engage Susan in conversation. “Susan, what are you needs for tutoring?” he asked.

She demurely looked down, smiled and putting her hair behind her ear, before looking up at him to answer. He smiled wide with an open look beginning his usual dance of futile flirtation. Turning to Lucy he assured her he could help with any subject she needed. Finally he steeled himself before addressing Edmund directly. 

“Edmund, I know you are working toward college entry SAT exam. Your trial test is in November with the final test in April.”  He explained calmly to Edmund. He felt the attention of both Peter and Lucy change the second he looked toward the boy who merely frowned and added a typical teenager’s bored eye roll. Lucy obviously cared deeply about her brother, while Peter exuded disapproval and exasperation.  

He continued when the boy gave no reply, “I want to get started right away identifying your weaknesses and an appropriate study plan. I’m proposing a two hour session each day with additional homework outside of our sessions. Once school starts we can adjust the schedule around your regular homework.”

Edmund bit back an angry retort because Lucy elbowed him before he could get it out. He simply said, “Fine, what day do we start?” with a look of loathing on his face. 

Caspian smiled calmly, “I move in Saturday, so I suggest that we start Sunday.”

That caused Edmund to protest regardless of his promise to his sister, “Sunday?  Never, it is the weekend.”

Peter interjected, “The day of the week is irrelevant Ed. You need every day you can get.” Edmund voiced inarticulate protests as Peter ignoring his sputters. “Caspian, let me show you your rooms and the rest of the home. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the privacy and comfort.” Edmund thundered out of the room. Caspian politely ignored this and calmly said his farewells to the girls.

~ *** ~

Edmund complained to Lucy later when they were alone. “He is such a snob. Did you see the way he instantly looked down on me?”

“Yes… but he wasn’t looking down at you. It was something else that I couldn’t quite place.” Lucy said.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“He almost looked afraid, but that cannot be right. Later he was obviously undeterred by your protests.” Lucy mused distractedly.

“Well I don’t want him teaching me.” He pouted.

“Please at least give him a chance. You know you need the help.” She looked earnestly at him and shook the arm she had grabbed. “You promised me to give him a week, remember?”

Edmund rolled his eyes, but yielded, “Yes, I know and I won’t let you down Luc.”  He signed, why was it she could so easily control him. What was worst, he knew he would keep his promise to her. It was now a question of honor.


	2. Uneasy Respect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian moves in to the Pevensie household and Edmund find he is not as annoying as most adults. Then teen makes made an embarrassing confession to the tutor.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Italic refers to thoughts-

On Saturday Caspian moved in as arranged. Edmund was carefully to keep away from him by staying in his room or in the large greenhouse garden on the west side of the apartment. It had been his mother’s favorite place and as an apology to her he tended it along with Susan. He liked Susan in the garden, she was at her most gentle and kind, just like his father. They both took after their father in looks with their raven black hair and porcelain fair skin, but Edmund had more of this mothers’ dynamic temperament. It was why she and now Edmund needed a place of peace to retreat to.

Today he sat alone on the bench near the pond listening to the water flow down over the smooth stones of the fountain. He gazed at the hard rock with water sliding over it, focused on every breath, and emptied his mind. He felt soft and floating as his mediation took hold.

After a long while blackness fell around him. Next thing he knew he smelled blood and heard crushing metal. Then he watched as the last of his parents’ lives flow out red over the cold hard steel and pavement. He cried out as he felt himself shaking.

No… Someone was shaking him and an unfamiliar voice was saying, “Edmund! What is it? Hey! Are you alright?” He looked up into Caspian’s concerned eyes.

“Leave me alone!” He shouted as he tore away from his grip, stumbling back to sit on the paving stones. Obviously, he had fallen asleep and of course his nightmare came, it always did. How embarrassing, it had been five years and he still was reliving the accident nearly every night. He realized he had just made a major fool of himself.

Caspian released him and sat back on the bench looking stunned, but at least he was silent. They both were breathing heavily. Edmund stared down not daring to raise his head. Shame and guilt curled in his stomach and the sound of his mothers’ last words before the crash thundered in his ears over and over again, “How could you Edmund?” He felt his tears well in his downcast eyes, but fought to keep silence and still as he cried. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…intrude.” Caspian trailed off and quickly walked out of the garden. Edmund was thankful he was a least disinterested. Most people fretted over him trying to help. It only made him feel more broken and vulnerable.

He hoped without really expecting it that Caspian would not mention it when they next met. To his annoyance Caspian joined them at dinner. Peter did not need to hear about this afternoon. Fortunately the tutor only spared Edmund a fleeting glanced and never brought up what happened. Maybe he wouldn’t be such a bother to have around after all. On the other hand he spent most of dinner flirting with Susan. Yeah, that was going to get old fast, and Edmund was able to return to disliking him.

~ *** ~

Caspian asked Edmund to meet him in the library at 10am the next morning. Caspian had spread the long oak table with several prep books, a worn leather journal, a new day timer and a folder. Edmund wore a look of stoic reluctance as he sat next to the man.

“Edmund, I know you did not want a tutor. Can you tell me why?” Caspian began without preamble.

“Actually I’m not opposed to a tutor. I just don’t like sharing my home with a stranger.” The boy replied.

“Oh, the terms of employment are something you should have spoken to Peter about.” 

“I did, but he does not listen to me. I’m nearly of age, but my opinions don’t count.” He added bitterly.

“I can assure you that I will do my best to respect the privacy of you and your family.” Caspian replied.

Ed wondered _is this in reference to my episode in the garden?_ “Yeah, well what is going to happen when Susan dumps you like everyone else? Or when you get sick of my attitude and want to quit?” The boy replied hostilely.

“Let me put your worries to rest. Susan is a very nice woman, but I can assure you I’m not so fickle as to risk something as unprofessional as that. As far as your attitude, I am not so easily offended that you could drive me away.” He explained.

“I call bullshit,” He replied with a shrug, “but it is your problem, not mine.” Caspian’s face remained blank and utterly unconcerned by his retort.

“Alight, I would like to start with a few general questions about your study habits. Please answer honestly. When is your optimal study time? And how much sleep do you average a night?” The tutor said.

The teen rolled his eyes, “Usually I’m best after dinner. And I get about 7 hours a night.”

“Really? Is that why you fell asleep in the garden today?” Caspian challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“That-that was an accident and it is not relevant.” He bellowed defensively. _How dare he bring up that!_

Caspian ignored the outburst and went on with his lesson, “Regardless, I want to log your study times and how many hours of sleep you get each night in his day timer.” He replied as he handed it over.  Edmund glared and he returned a completely blank look. He wondered idly; _how does he could look so distant and nonchalant all the time? I would kill to be able to pull that on Peter, but I never could reign in my emotions. At least he is not interrogating me about the dream._

After a few moments the teen snatched the proffered day timer. Caspian continued with questions about Edmunds transcripts and asked what he perceived as his weaknesses. 

After that they both took a sample test. That one caught Edmund off guard. Caspian explained, “If I don’t know my own weaknesses how can I keep from passing them on to you?”

He had agreed to give him a chance, but against his will he found him likable. Maybe there was more to Caspian then he thought.

~ *** ~

After the first week Edmund was ready for school to start, but he had a feeling that would not be much of a relief. Caspian was an energetic and driven tutor. He had the sample test graded and analyzed by the next day. Furthermore he had an intensive study plan ready the day after.  More tiring was the way the tutor nudged and niggled at all his scholastic weaknesses exploring them to no end. 

So on Saturday when Caspian inspected the day timer study summary he said, “You have done well this week. So now you can have Sundays off, only as long as you keep the study plan up to date.”  Edmund was thankful. “Hum, it looks like you are only sleeping between 5 hours to as little as 3 hours a night. That is not enough, you cannot expect to perform well on so little sleep.”

“I’ve been under a lot of stress.” The teen offered, but it sounded lame even to him.

“Please don’t make excuses. This is a serious hindrance to your academics. How long has it been like this?” Caspian gave him a penetrating stare from his deep chocolate eyes that was intense, yet not unkind. 

Edmund found it hard to lie, but he did anyway, “Just this summer. My love life is crap.” 

The tutor raised an eyebrow and went on ignoring his response, “I know this is difficult and personal, but perhaps someone detached from you, like myself, could help you work through those nightmares.” Edmund sputtered and his eyes seemed to glow with anger. The tutor raised his hand palm out in a placating gesture, “Never mind, I know I’m just some stranger pushed on you, but you do need help.  What other sources have you tried?”

The teen steadied his breathing as his heart beat erratically. Contrary to his actions he didn’t mind this line of questing from Caspian. _When had I become so soft that I would seek help?  But he was asking and his concern felt genuine. Also he had restraint if the garden episode was any indication._

Against his own better judgment he began, “First promise me that you will tell no one, especially not Peter or Lucy or Susan.” He gave the man a probing look that the tutor returned unflinchingly.

“I promise to not reveal you secrets to anyone.” He replied solemnly and from the depth of his chocolate eyes Edmund saw sincerity.

The teen said, “I’m sure Peter told you about the accident?” Caspian nodded. Then Ed took a deep breath and his hands shook, but he continued, “It still haunts me just not because I was there, like everyone thinks, but because I was the cause of it.”

“You couldn’t have. You were just 12.” He said in stunned disbelief.

Edmund shook his head and gave a wan chuckle, “That is what the shrinks said, but they don’t know.” It had been three years since he was in therapy. They had just abandoned him, giving him antidepressants and sending him away.

Caspian became still and focused laying a hand on Edmund shoulder. “Know what Edmund?” To the teen his hand felt like a life line and he impulsively decided to tell him. He gulped as he steeled himself to confess.

He shook and his eyes were sparkling with tears, “I told them…They freaked out….” Then he went on in a rush as if it would hurt less, “They started shouting, and didn’t pay attention to the road, and went, and died on me.” Each pause was punctuated with a sob, then he whispered, “They died hating me,” and earnest tears began to flow.

Caspian deftly pulled him to his chest and hugged him. Edmund clutched his shirt and sobbed into his shoulder. Caspian knew how incredibly difficult losing parents could be. He never knew his mother and he lost his father at about the same age, but that was slow and agonizing. At least he knew he wasn’t responsible. Not that he supposed Edmund was responsible either, regardless of anything inflammatory he might have said. The man gently rubbed circles into his back and held him until he calmed down.  They stayed that way for a long time. When Edmund regained his composure, he fled the room.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'll bet some of you thought it would be a different type of confession. All in good time.  
> Please leave comments, I live for them.


	3. Heady Subterfuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Both Edmund and Caspian ponder the confession. School begins and they ease into a routine.)  
> Italic refers to thoughts

Edmund felt ashamed and mortified after crying on Caspian’s shoulder. I was actually sobbing. What a pathetic loser I am. Why did I tell him so much? I never even told the shrinks that much. I’m just so fed up living this lie. What does it matter as long as by family never finds out that I betrayed them. As soon as I am eighteen I can leave and never bother them again.   
He was still utterly desolate that night when he went to bed, but he was actually able to get to sleep. Even better he did not have that nightmare. Instead he dream of an amusement park he visited in the 4th grade. He was with his mother hugging him or holding his or at other times he was with a merrily laughing Caspian. He only had a haze recollection that he had a good dream when he woke, but he spent the day with a vague optimism that he had not felt in a long time.   
Caspian was also pondering his encounter with Edmund. What disturbed him most was how much he identified with the boy. Why would I identify with someone who feels like he let down his parents? The one thing I never doubted was my father’s love and acceptance. In fact with his death I lost the only person who has ever or would ever love me. He accept that long ago and it seemed odd that Edmund’s troubles would leave him feeling so bereft for his father’s loss all of the sudden. It was eleven years ago after all. He stayed awake long into the night alternating between memories of his father and ideas to reach Edmund. By morning he had resolved nothing and he decided to just wait and watch.   
The next day tutoring sessions continued with no mention or illusion to previous day’s incident made by either party. Edmund was relieved and appreciative. Caspian on the other hand had become covertly watchful. He was always observant, but now he was circumspect as well. He did notice the lightened circles under his eyes and better mood. At least Edmund was able to sleep last night.   
~ *** ~  
Although college had not started yet, Caspian had already begun studying. He had informally adopted the Library as his study. On the first day of high school Caspian purposely left door open so he could hear when Edmund returned home. He heard Lucy come home having been chaperoned by Peter to and from school on her the first day. They entered the home in a flurry of chatter and laughter.   
Edmund had insisted on driving himself. This had not surprised Caspian, but it did annoy Peter, a lot. When he arrive about twenty minutes later, Peter was waiting at the door. Edmund entered and an argument arose. He found out later the teen was sporting a black eye and split lip.   
“Edmund! What happened?” The older brother exclaimed but with exasperation instead of concern.   
“Nothing, I’m alright Peter.” Edmund answered.  
“Nothing my ass! How could you? It is only the first day.” Peter reprimanded.   
“Peter, it is not that bad. It was just a little altercation after school.”   
“Is that why I didn’t get a call? Can you tell me why you are always picking fights with the bullies?” Peter asked.   
“I didn’t Peter. He just found me.” It cost Edmund something to tell the truth.  
“Who is it? I need to report this to the school principle.” Peter demanded.  
“No, that only makes it worse. I won’t tell.” Edmund was resolute.  
“But this needs to stop, Ed. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Peter’s voice had changed from scolding him to a pleading and somewhat plaintive tone.   
The teen turned defensive, “Peter, I’m seventeen now, not some little school boy. You can’t protect me forever. What will happen when I’m on my own?”   
“Why would you ever want to leave home? Susan and I haven’t.” His brother stated categorically as if it was already decided long ago that they would always be together as a family.   
“You do not speak for me! Just leave me alone, Peter!” Edmund snarled and trudged away.   
Caspian was sure of three things after hearing this conversation. Peter was afraid of losing Edmund and would protect him against his will if needed. Edmund was going to run away from his family as soon as he was an adult, if not before. And finally he was going to make sure Edmund was ready when that happened. He certainly knew how to look out for himself, he’d done it since he was twelve. He was a bit surprised at his determination. It was not a fatherly feeling that he was sure of that. Still it was more than he felt for anyone else in a very long time. He needed a night out to forget about this crazy family.   
~ *** ~  
The environment was charged at dinner and Edmund was still steaming at his tutoring session an hour later. Caspian’s normally cool stare was replaced with a troubled look as he took in Edmunds bruised lip and eye. He also noticed the wince when Edmund sat. The teen returned a defiant glare.   
“There is no need to glare. It is your business. I don’t care if you are beaten to pulp as long as you don’t get kicked out of school. So, make sure you stay out of trouble.” Caspian declared.  
“It was not my fault--” Edmund began.  
“It doesn’t matter. Just stay out of trouble. Also, if you want some pointers I can teach you.”  
“YOU know how to fight?” he asked surprised.  
“I’m a product of private boarding schools. You need to know how to defend yourself. Let’s get to work.” Caspian was thankful that this had put Edmund if not at ease, at least placated him and they were able to get down to business.   
~ *** ~  
The next day Edmund was getting a late snack in the kitchen when he had seen Caspian leaving his room wearing white skinny jeans and a sheer white shirt with grey cuffs, collar, and button band. Edmund had already accepted that Caspian was captivatingly handsome, but something about those tight jeans and the shadowy view of his chest through the sheer shirt had him blushing profusely. Caspian didn’t even seem to see him as he left out the back door. Edmund hurriedly left the kitchen before any of his siblings found him glowing red.   
The next morning, Saturday, he and Lucy were breakfasting at the kitchen table about 8:30am. They were the early risers. Caspian peaked in slowly and quietly through the back door.   
“It is alright, they are usually sleep late.” Edmund called while Lucy giggled.   
Caspian stiffened as he entered the room, looking decidedly rumpled, wearing the same clothes as yesterday. “Um, thanks.” He mumbled.   
“You know I could show you the freight elevator route. It is longer, but more discrete.” Edmund said.   
“Um… yah, later,” and he hurried away.   
Edmund and Lucy both laughed.   
~ *** ~  
So they settled into a routine as the school year started in earnest. Edmund would get into a fight about once a week, but the school never contacted Peter about it. Peter rarely noticed the marks since he was overworked at med school. Lucy helped to cover them up or run interference with Peter as needed. Caspian helped also, but only covertly. He simply kept Edmund studying through dinner on days when the marks were most visible, thereby avoiding Peter’s eye. It became an unspoken arrangement when Edmund came to the Library before dinner that they would dine late together. Usually Caspian spent dinner time drilling Edmund on some recent study subject. Caspian was busy at med school, too, but somehow he handled the load better than Peter. He was always prepared to tutor Edmund, Lucy, and Susan at the appointed time. And while Peter rarely went out, Caspian was out every Friday night and return with a walk of shame using Edmunds suggested route every Saturday morning.   
Edmund had to admit he had grown to respect Caspian. He had never worked so hard or make so much progress before. Also, his hands off approach was anything but cold. He noticed everything about Edmund as conveyed by his subtle help that ease him through difficult situations with Peter. The teen felt a growing friendship with him although they hardly spoke about anything outside of tutoring. Come late September, haltingly asked to be taught self-defense. Caspian readily agreed.   
As much as he felt befriended by Caspian it was still hard to be around him so much. He was so damn gorgeous that Edmund couldn’t stop thinking about him in ‘that’ way as much as he fought against it. He was weak. He made sure to always catch a glimpse of him before he went out, the outfits were worth it. He found it interesting that he never wore black, instead he tended toward dark rich jewel tones and white. They showed of his golden-brown skin tone perfectly. He wondered if he had a regular dates or just picked up some girl at the club and what his type was like. Regardless the man never let a word slip about what he did on his nights out.   
At least he hadn’t made a pass at Susan, even though he flirted with her non-stop. He slowly began to understand that Caspian was a chameleon, he reflect whatever anyone wanted. With Peter he was the high achieving responsible college student, with Lucy a laughing kind brotherly sort, and with him a supportive friend that he didn’t need to ask for help. The funny thing was his changing persona didn’t feel false. How did he manage that? He wondered what it would be like if he was ever himself. That made him determined to find the real person under all this subterfuge.


	4. Illusion of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian begins to wonder at his own discontent.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time between updates. I have finally come back to this story and plan to get it finished over the summer. I appreciate the kudos and comments.  
> Thank you,  
> Anne

Over the past two months he had collected an impressive assortment conquests. Still he felt discontent in a way that he just couldn’t comprehend. A casual one night stand every so often had always been enough. Lately he needed more, he tried more dates and more times each, but it didn’t work. Finally decided to indulge his kinks a bit more vigorously. From the very first time he experienced it he was all about get back door action. 

Caspian was thinking about last night’s lay as he showered. She had been surprisingly satisfying, yet she was nothing like the women he usually hooked up with. If he hadn’t seen her from behind with an open backed halter on he wouldn’t have even talked to her, but he wanted to run his hands over that fair beautiful muscular back as soon as he saw it. Something about her whispered ‘Susan’ to him, but aside from her coloring, she looked and certainly acted nothing like her. This girl was a tall Goth with slim hips and broad shouldered build like a swimmer. Her hair was short and spiky in deep black with purple tips. He liked her full lips and fair skin with just a few freckles. Her make-up was the unappealing standard dark and heavy eyes, and her demeanor was brash and loud. Regardless he charmed her. Her name was Sal, she was 19, and professed she was eager for new experiences. He certainly provided that and at least she didn’t have that blank acerbic personality that seemed prevalent in many Goths.

She seemed to enjoy the border line rough sexual play and him scratching her back. More importantly she let him have her pale beautiful ass. Caspian decided he would like to sleep with her again. He fondly remembered slam into her as she bowed before him and with one hand he traced her long lean back with his nails and the other he fingered her. He started to get hard just thinking of her below him. As he stroked himself, he thought of her low throaty moans. Heat filled him as he remembered grasping her shoulders for more leverage as her moans sharpened and her tight ass convulsed bringing him closer. As he tipped over the edge she looked over her shoulder. In his fantasy the same thing happened, but instead he saw Susan’s dark brown eye filled with wanton lust.

He panted though his orgasm as confusion settled in. He felt conflicted and uneasy. Well it looked like Susan, but somehow it didn’t feel like her. Sure Susan was beautiful and he flirted with her openly, but he had no real interest in her. She was charming, but hard inside. She would setting for nothing less than complete control. He would never submit. So why the hell was he fantasying about her?

~***~

Edmund had progressed quickly in self-defense, so it perplexed Caspian that he was still getting beat up. He began to take note of the dates and types of injuries. It was about twice a week and often his lip was spit, or he had light bruises on his cheeks. In the aftermath he also had an odd vacant look that hadn’t been there before each incident.

Caspian had just pinned him against the wall as they spared when he saw the new marks. Edmund had finger sized bruises on his neck that showed some had been choking him. He had been held down, were they ganging up on him. Caspian immediately stood back.

“Edmund, please explain what has been happening to you. Because I don’t see where you have been able to use my lessons.” He scolded.

“What do you mean?” He hedged.

“Those marks on your neck. How are you letting someone get close enough to hold you down?”

“He is always following me. I’ve just decide to let him get it over with and move on. I can fight him off if he gets too rough.” He said dismissively.

“He? It is just one person? Ed, you should be able to take him. He should never be able to get you pinned” Caspian was now sure there was something he was hiding.

“NO, I don’t want to get in trouble. He is a model student and the principal’s son. This is better.” He argued, now obviously agitated.

“No, you are getting pummeled twice a week. This is not alright.”

“Would you just leave it off and let me fight my own battles. I’m fine.” He said defensively.

This whole conversation didn’t sit right. It niggled at the back of his mind. Regardless of the circumstances why would he let this boy thrash him? “Ed, there are better ways of dealing with this. You don’t have to let this happen.”

Leaned forward and spat with intense fury, “Get the fuck out of my life.” 

Caspian countered, “But Ed you shouldn’t…”

He stared at him with dark malevolent eyes, “Don’t act like you care. I’m just a job to you and you are not my friend.”

“Why would you say that …” Those words hurt. They hurt a lot more than he ever would have imagined.

“Don’t lie. I’m just a job. And you are only psychoanalyzing me. You never show any of the real you.” He turned abruptly and began walking out.

He turning at the door looking over his shoulder, “You were never my friend and these lessons are over.”

Caspian’s gasped, he merely stared at the door. He was stunned as much by what he said as by the burning look. That glace over his shoulder pierced him to the core. It showed all his anger and hurt and something else he couldn’t place. Had he really been so aloof with him? Was he really so closed off? He could not think of anything significant he had share about his past. Why was it so important to him that Edmund was his friend? He didn’t need anyone. He promised himself he would never need anyone ever again.


	5. Calming Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund and Caspian react to their encounter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here is where things get intense. Enter my AU version of the White Witch in the character Winter Jadis. So ***Warning*** Suicidal actions, discussion of past attempts, non-con BDSM. You have been warned.

Edmund sprinted to the roof and stepped up onto the ledge. He liked the sharp November wind that made his eyes water and its biting damp cold that made him shiver in his sweat pants and t-shirt. It definitely wasn’t from his encounter with Caspian.

He definitely said too much and now he alienated the only one hiding his bruises and more from Peter. He had thought Caspian would turn out to be a friend, but now he could see that would never happen. He was as closed as ever. He had let him get farther with his psychoanalysis than anyone else, but in the end he only cared about getting his job done. He was weak; he let him and even took self-defense from him, because he was just so enthralled. He could handle anything other than Caspian’s cold ‘handling’ of his student’s moods. Fuck, that hurt just too damn much.

And now he had caught on to his charade. Sure at first he was getting beaten by the school homophobes, but that before Winter Jadis took over. Before he had only known him by site, but he had a bad reputation. The story was that, as the principal’s son, he was on his last chance school after so many incidents at his other schools. People had a tendency to disappear after he took an interest in them. They suddenly changed schools, moved away, went to jail, and in one case died.

Now he knew why, but it was just what his own black soul needed. At first after his parent’s deaths, he had been too frightened to make an effective suicide. He had always planned it for Peter to find him because he need Peter to forgive him. He had always thought his brother was annoyingly perfect. Then he stepped up and became their father. He both hated and loved him for it. When he was about to be taken away. He somehow found a way to tolerate the emptiness.

He didn’t know how easy it was then. Since Caspian it all changed. He had given him hope, but then any leading question were shut down with cold efficient callousness. Each time the pain ate at him. He watched as Caspian came in with a walk of shame night after night. At first he laughed because they were friends, but then over time it plagued him and more of his soul started to burn away. He looked down five stories to the ground below. _No good, too many trees, it might not be enough._ Anyway Lucy might find him, if he was this close to home.

Slowly the gloomy settled in with cold stinging rain. It felt just like his insides. The emptiness of Caspian’s supposed friendship ate away at his resolve, and went on to eating until he felt like a dark void. It was something he couldn’t reach, like an itch he couldn’t scratch. It was all he could do to stay away from sharp objects and not walk out into traffic. Bullies became as a relief, that simple pain had somehow steadied him. 

Then Winter Jadis found him and now he owned him. He was the one holding it back the darkness within him, not that Jadis cared. He laughed at his pain and belittled him but it was all just what he thought of himself. _I am just a worthless possession to him yet, I needed him tonight._ But, he knew he was not allowed to call.

~***~

It all started back in late September after being cornered in near the gym by three bullies. He was pushed into the boy’s locker room just after football practice started. They pushed him against a column and one boy held his arms behind him and pulled him into a hunched down position. Eric, the ring leader stared down at him with a contented evil glint.

“Welcome, faggot we will be your bullies for today.”  His friends laughed sycophantically. “If you have any complaints, too bad.” Ed shift nervously while he waited, thankfully for them to help and quiet his own self-loathing. Then they started to pummel him into a sharp painful forgetfulness.

Suddenly it ended and he was released. Only when they stopped did the tears come. This time was way too short. He simply hung his head and stooped his body, barely listening until as sharp back hand hit him, splitting his cheek and he slammed into the ground. He was so disoriented and dizzy that he though he must have passed out briefly. He heard someone getting up off the ground.

A commanding voice laced with an evil sneer pierced his foggy mind. “Listen up. He is mine now. Nobody else touches him. Or else I’ll come after every one of you.” He blinked his eyes open to see _his_ back and the open fear on the bullies’ faces before they ran. He dress formally for high school in grey khakis and a striped grey shirt over a light charcoal grey trench coat. 

As they fled the face that turned to his shocked him. He had unblemished pale skin with light grey eyes and white blond hair that he saw up close for the first time. The unexpected part was how heartbreakingly beautifully he was and how intently his eyes looked at him. He quickly got a damp towel, then bent down to clean his wounds. He was dazed, this was not what he expected. Why was he so nice?  Only when he licked the blood off his chunky silver rings before wiping them did Edmund notice how cold, yet fervent his eyes were.

He purred, “How did you like the taster? Don’t worry, I’ll give you just what you need.” Edmunds mind reeled how could he know how much he want this? Involuntarily his eyes started to tear. He brushed a tear away, “Sh, Sh, soon, very soon. I know you, you see. I know that look of self-loathing in your eyes.”

He lifted him with surprising strength for his lean form. He was practically the same height and broader than Jadis, but Ed felt so much smaller and insignificant under his gaze. He ordered, “Take off your shirt and face the column.” He complied silently, “Slide down your pants and hand me your belt. Then take off your underwear.”

At that he spoke, “Hey you’re not getting in my pants.” The answer was a sharp slap on the bruise blooming on his left side over his ribs and he gasped at the pain.

“That is Master Jadis to you.” He harshly ordered, then switch to his evil purr. “Aren’t you eager? Don’t get ahead of yourself. It is only our first date.” His low cold chuckle chilled Edmund to the core.

“Besides, I only want your pain, so let me hear you. Hold the column, you’ll need it for support. And count out to ten. If you lose count I start over.”

He just got his hands in place when he started lashing him with his own belt. It felt like fire searing his back, backside, and thighs. He inwardly sighed and sank into the encircling misery. He lost track once and then again. After that he sharpened his focus such that nothing else existed. He probably had over 23 lashes before he was done.

Afterwards he was utterly dazed and fully stated in a way he couldn’t have imagined. “You see, I know exactly what you need. I’m the only one who really cares about you.” He crooned.

Jadis shocked him by putting salve on his welts and helped him dress. He even helped him to his car. “Are you alright to drive?” He nodded through his haze and started the car.

Jadis added a contact to his phone and handed it back. “You are not allowed to contact me, but I will tell you when and where.” He left abruptly without a glance back as Ed looked dazed at the contact name, MJ, and he knew that meant Master Jadis.

After that day they moved to his garage outfitted with sound proofing and rock band instruments. They met about twice a week and he hardly ever left a permanent mark, but the soothing effects lasted far longer than any crass bullies’ beatings. He felt the change in himself he slept better, he learned faster, and he could clear his mind easier. It was just a bonus that all the other bullies left him alone.

The cold rain seemed to help with its deep chill. He felt stiff and sluggish wondering how long it had been. He stumbled backwards off the ledge and gazed to rooftop doorway. That door meant Peter’s questions and Caspian false friendship. He cringed away from it.

Now for the first time he worried he was addicted to Jadis because he could not resist the urge to contact him. He’d risked a text, although he knew he’d pay dearly for it. Jadis called him right away and asked all about what happened with his incongruous gentle concern that would turn soon enough. He told him everything anyway, it validated him. Jadis echoed all the negative thoughts that circled in his own head. He knew he killed his parents and that he was gay. He laughed at him for all the worry it caused him. He often touted “You’re different than them and they’ll hate you for it. But won’t be because you’re gay, it will be because you’re a murder,” followed by his cruel laughter.

On the phone he purred, “Remember I’m your only friend and I’m here to help you Ed. You just need to ask.”

“Master Jadis, Please help me.” He sobbed.

“Alright you worthless piece of shit, I want you to stand on the ledge and….”

~***~

Caspian was so unsettled by his encounter with Edmund that he left the Pevensies’ apartment for the campus library half a mile away. He enjoyed studying in the 1920s era reading room. The sound of quite pages rustling, pens scratching, and the hushed breathing instantly put him in the right mind set. It was comfortable and reassuring just like the times he spent as a child quietly studying with his father as he rested from chemo. Backwhen he thought he would recover. As he worked through his class work he felt his balance returning.

About three hours later as he was packing up he received a phone call. He hurried out of the room and answered curtly, “What?”

Peter said in a panicked rush, “Is Ed with you?”

“No, why…”

“Do you have any idea where he is?  He didn’t come to dinner and Lucy said he’s been acting strange, secretive.”

“Look he probably just went –“

“Caspian, I’m worried because… Um… The last time this happened he was hurt…”

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“Ed has hurt himself before.”

“What? He is suicidal. Why in the hell didn’t you tell me?” He shouted. Luckily he was out in the plaza in front of the library and the shout was drowned out with the cold rain that had started since he’d last been outside. “I’m on my way back right now.” He hung up quickly.

He squirmed in guilt. _Damn it, suicidal and I just alienated him. I hope that wasn’t enough too… but no he couldn’t._ Then he recalled all his training. Yes, anyone could, don’t ever underestimate suicide. He knew from those marks on him he was hiding something. Something or someone dangerous if he was any judge. _Stupid kid, stupid me, why didn’t I just following him? It was that look that so unsettled me. Shit, I’m a selfish bastard._

He jogged back and soon had the apartment building in view. He wondered how he had become so caught up with this family and idly gazed up at it. Then he saw a dark slim shadow on the roof silhouetted black against the heavy grey clouds. He began running as if his life depending on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffy, but it was the right spot to stop the chapter. I’ll have the next chapter up in a just a few days.  
> I hope this dark turn doesn’t stop your reading. I don’t expect BDSM to be a recurring theme since Caspian is here to help Ed heal and ‘defeat’ Jadis.  
> Your kudos and comments are much appreciated.  
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	6. Dark Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian find Edmund on the roof.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this quick post makes up for last times cliff hanger. Again,***Warning*** Suicidal actions, discussion of past attempts, non-con BDSM. You have been warned.

Caspian entered the roof via the freight elevator corridor, purposely not calling to the rest of the family. This was his responsibility. Thankfully he was still there, but Edmund didn’t even turn when he called his name. He only wavered at the edge and he seemed to be mumbling to himself. Oddly he had his shirt off with his arms crossed behind his back holding his forearms. He had his head lifted so cold rain hit him full in the face. Caspian quickly ran up behind him and grabbed him around the waist dragging him down. He was cold, wet, confused, but not shivering. _This was very bad!_

“No, No, I lost count… Master I promise I won’t disobey again… Don’t make me start over… ” He wheezed out panicked and confused, but he had no strength to fight off the attack. Caspian ignored his comments wrapped his coat around him and picked him up bridal style to carry him inside.

As he reached the door it opened and Peter was quickly raking his gaze over Edmund looking for injuries. When he finally looked at Caspian, the dark haired man mouthed ‘hypothermia’. Peter told Susan and Lucy to get heavy blankets and he got on the phone while chaperoning them to Edmund’s room.

He carried Edmund to his bed and began gently removing his wet clothing. He barely moved as he undressed him. Edmund laughed, “Hey, do this and people will talk.” He tried to lean up and wrap an arm around his neck, but was too weak to actually complete the motion.

Caspian shutter as he looked at him in the light. He saw the welts all over his back, ass and thighs. He pushed the reaction they caused to the back of his mind. He had get him dry and warm. Then he notice the bruises circling his wrist that were covered by the leather wristbands he wore. _Shit Edmund he tied you up and beat you? I’ll fucking find out who and make him pay for this._ He refocused on the task at hand, getting him under the covers and taking his body temperature.

“Peter” he called through the door, “He has a moderate case, 90.1°F, dazed but conscious, steady but shallow breathing and pulse. Worst of all he is not shivering.”

At a knock he opened the door so all three could enter. He took the additional blankets from the girls. “You girls need to leave. He’ll be alright, let Peter and I take care of him.” As soon as they shut the door he started to strip down to his boxer briefs and he climbed in bed behind Edmund and rolled him on his side.

Peter blinked, but kept talking, “Yes, 90.1°F and we have it under control. I’ll call back in an hour with status. Thank you doctor.” 

As soon as he hung up Caspian said, “Come on you get in front and we’ll warm him up” He as snugged up his chest to cover Edmunds back and his arm tightly held him around the waist. It was like hugging a cold dry fish. Peter tucked the extra blankets around Edmund and Caspian before he stripped down.

Peter looked him in the face, “Edmund you will be fine, we are trying to get you warm. How long were you out there in the rain?”

Edmund looked up perplexed, “It wasn’t raining, I was crying.” Peter looked at Caspian who just gave him a nod that said ‘yes, he is confused’.

Caspian asked, “That wasn’t 911. Who did you call?”

Peter climbed in and put his back into his brother’s chest and tucked the blankets around himself as he explained. “It was Dr. Cornelius our family doctor. He is quite discrete and will make house calls. You must understand that it is to our advantage to keep Ed out of the hospital.”

“You mean he could get taken away from you?”

He was shocked to hear Peter let out a sharp sob. “Ed, why? You were doing so well.” It took several long minutes for him to gulp back his sobs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Caspian, but it has been two years. I hoped it was over for good.”

He put his hand on Peter’s shoulder and said to his back, “It is alright now Peter. It is lucky you called. If you hadn’t I wouldn’t have seen him.” The blonde let out a soft mournful wail.

“Peter you are such a girl.” Edmund exclaimed.

His older brother let out a hick-upped mirthless chuckle, “I was just able to convince them to let me keep him last time.”

“Peter, I’ll help. You don’t have to worry alone.” Caspian said and wondered why he was so definite. He always tried to distance himself from everyone, but he was already in far too deep with this family.

Ed looked over dazed saying, “Caspian, you shouldn’t bother. I’m nothing.”

Peter shivered, then defected the conversation, “Edmund we are spending too much on water. You don’t mind if we just stopped watering the garden do you.”

His brother was indignant, “You can’t do that to mom’s garden….” That was good for a several minutes of random ranting. Peter and Caspian took turns asking Edmund annoying questions to keep him awake and he was getting really peeved.

“Why won’t you just let me sleep?”

“You can’t sleep until we are done getting you warm.”

“I’m hot already. Would you just give me some room? I’m getting out of bed.”

“NO” They shouted in unison and held him down.

After an hour his body temperature had risen to 91.5°F, his heart rate was high but steady, and he had progressed to shivering. At this point they were confident he would continue to recover. Peter got up to call the doctor and to tell his sisters what was happening. After that they silently continued keeping Edmund warm, but had finally decided to allow him to go to sleep.

It was nearly midnight before he was at 95°F and his heart rate was normal. He was still cold and they agreed that one of them needed to stay with him to keep him warm and watch him. Naturally this led to a short argument that Caspian won by pointing out Peter was the only one with a legitimate excuse to miss class tomorrow. Besides he secretly felt he owed it to Ed to keep his other injuries hidden. Furthermore, he knew he wouldn’t sleep a wink.

Edmund shifted to lay on his stomach and Caspian cuddled up to him placing his cheek on the nape of his neck and half his body over his back. How could he have missed the signs, he thought as he chewed on his lip? It wasn’t that surprising to learn that he had been suicidal after the accident, but it had been two years now. What could have triggered the relapse? He squirmed uncomfortably remembering this afternoon. This boy had been through so much more than him. _How could I be so insincere and defensive with his friendship? Do I really believe I have the corner on grief?_

He gazing at the marks just visible on his upper back. He thought about the marks on his wrist and neck. He was sure he was tied up and beaten. That was about the only way he could have received that particular set of marks. The boy warned him away earlier, so he was _allowing_ someone to do this to him. He just had to wonder if it was out of fear or masochism. Considering his previous suicide attempts the later seemed probable. So how long had this been going on? He thought back to when the wristbands had first appeared. That was about a month back. About the time he himself was sinking into more and rougher one night stands. He felt his hands begin to shake. Why had he missed it? He thought about his words on the roof, this was some master-slave thing. He was sick to his stomach at the thought. He was sure nobody else was on the roof, but somehow he was following orders. _How the fuck? It had to be by phone. Ed called him, but Damn It, why? Couldn’t he see how much we all care about him?_ He clutched him tighter getting a quiet groan out Ed. _He would make that fucking asshole pay_.

“Quit it, too tight.” He mumbled hazily.

“Edmund,” he sighed. “I won’t let this happen again. Give me chance, please.”

“You tell such pretty lies. Why do you taunt me?” He mumbled disconsolately.

Caspian didn’t reply, but stewed over his words. He suspecting that he was too out of it to remember anyway. Still he felt guilty about using his usual distancing tactics on the boy. He vowed to himself that he would be a true friend from now on. He would get Ed out of this stupid slave thing at the very least. Only around 4am did he finally fall asleep as the swirl of anguish, fear, and recriminating thoughts became blurred in fatigue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think will happen when Ed wakes up?  
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	7. Surreal Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund wakes to find a heavy warm weight on him.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting on a roll with this story and I hope to update more often.

Edmund groaned as he woke up. He had a stabbing headache and all his muscles were wound tightly into a painful cramp. He was confused by the large mass pressing down on him. He was shocked when he tried to turn over and found it was Caspian. To make matters more bewildering both of them were undressed. _What the fuck?_ His pulse quickened and he blushed as he tried desperately to tally up the time between being on the roof and now. His head screamed back in protest and he couldn’t remember anything else.

“Caspian, wake-up.” He intoned, figuring he would get the unpleasantness over with quickly.

Caspian blinked and smiled at him sleepily. As he woke more fully he seemed alarmed. He immediately jump away and rushed to cover himself with one of the many blankets.

“You’re awake. Warm enough?” The boy nodded unable to fathom his response. The older man went on tersely, “Good. We need to talk before Peter gets here.”

“So What ----” He started to ask but Caspian quickly placed his hand over his mouth.

“Be quiet. I have a lot to say and not much time. Alright?” He nodded, “How much to do you remember about last night, after I got you off the roof ledge?” Edmund looked blankly back slowly shaking his head before his headache stopped him.

“I found you in the rain with your shirt off standing on the ledge, I didn’t tell anyone you were on the ledge or what you said. You were dazed and very close to falling off. You had hypothermia last night and I stayed here to keep you warm. Peter is staying home with you today and Dr. Cornelius will be here later today.

“We can talk later, but now you need a story. Also, you’ll need to hide those marks from them.” Ed eyes went wide with fear. “Yes, I know you have a ‘Master’ but you have to stop it Ed. I’ll do all I can to help and no, I won’t tell Peter. Any questions?” Ed was dumbfounded, “quick questions?”   _How does he know that? What must he think of me?_

“Uh… shit, fuck, damn!”

“Exactly, find some pajamas,” He sat up, grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom. Edmund got up slowly groaning, he ached all over. He ignored it and started dressing while desperately trying to make sense of all Caspian had said and cringing that he knew about Jadis, _but how much did he know and how much had he guessed?_

Peter entered the room just after he got back into bed. He had a breakfast tray of pancakes and bacon with orange juice, hot tea, and wonder of the world Tylenol. He took that right away, not even waiting for Peter to put the tray all the way down.

Caspian came out of the bathroom fully dressed, “Peter, I’ll let you take over from here. If you need me call.”

“Caspian,” Peter reached up and clutched his upper arm stopping him. Then pulled him into a tight hug. “I can’t thank you enough.” He whispered unwilling to let him go.

Edmunds stomach gave and unpleasant twist and he looked away. After an extended moment he yelled, “Get a room.” 

Peter turned and glared at him, it was his usual disappointed stare. Caspian took that opportunity to escape.

His brother shook his head gravely, “I thought you were done with this Ed. Hypothermia? That has to be the stupidest suicide method ever. What were you thinking?”

“Peter, I didn’t, I wasn’t. I just lost track of time.” He pleaded knowing it wouldn’t matter.

“Yeah, on the roof in November, during an icy rainstorm without a coat.” Peter berated him.

“It was just a mistake. I was just down, not out.”

“So what set you off? You know Dr. Cornelius will want to know. I just hope he doesn’t have to report you.” His brother said as his blue eyes blazed.

“If I’m such a bother just report me and let social services deal with me.”  He barked frustrated.

Peter huffed and turned away to start folding blankets. He took a few deep breaths and spoke slowly, “I won’t do that. Mom and dad wanted us to be together. You are my responsibility.” His shoulders slumped as he spoke.

Edmund growled at the same excuses he always heard from Peter. _All he cares about is his duty, not me._ He spat out his story, “I was just depressed, okay? It was a girl. I was turned down by a girl and I went up to the roof to yell and scream. I was so angry I threw my phone off the roof. Then I realized how stupid that was and how mad you would be. After that I…” He paused when he got closer to the truth, “um… I started to cry, alright? I didn’t mean to stay out there so long. It just was the rain and numb cold just felt… right. Empty like me.” He hung his head and rubbed his aching temples.

Peter turned to stare at him, shocked. “Ed, I… I’m sorry if…” He paused, and stiffly set down the next blanket on the stack. “You’d better eat your food. Dr. Cornelius will be here soon. He is stopping on his way to work.” Then Peter turned his back and hurried out.

 _He only does it because we are brothers,_ Edmund thought. _He really hates me, he just won’t admit it_. _How come I ruin everything?_

~***~

He told Dr. Cornelius the same story about a girlfriend and he accepted it without comment. As he reached for his bag he asked Edmund to take off his pajama top.

“Um… Doctor, you should know that I’m being bullied.”

He looked up sharply and set his bag on his lap, “You’d better tell me about it son.”

Edmund sighed and began his story with some relief. He felt safer somehow around Dr. Cornelius. Maybe it is because he has known him his whole life, although he suspects it is his knack for making him feel comfortable. Of course his whole story about bullies beating him up is lie, but it has happened enough times that it feels true enough. Then he proceeds to take off his pajama top.

As he examines the marks he says, “You said they held you down, choked you, tied your hands, and beat you with a belt? This seems pretty precise and extreme for your usual fist wielding bully? Did you do something specific to infuriate them?”

“Well…” He searched for an answer that would satisfy him. “I bumped into one of them and he took it the wrong way. He said I was a faggot and the look on my face was enough to convince him he was right.”

“Well are you?” The doctor asked causally, and then appeared to be X-raying him slowly. Edmund felt his resolve cracking. _What does it matter? At least he won’t tell anyone. He is the only one I can trust, besides Master Jadis._

Edmund looked down at his fists clenching and unclenching. “I am. But don’t let Peter or anyone know.”

The older man put a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for telling me Edmund. It takes a lot of guts to admit it. I should know, because I am gay too.”

Ed’s face crinkled in confusion, “You?”

“Yes, I thought you might feel better knowing that. But please don’t tell Peter. Not that I mind anyone knowing. I just get the feeling he would be uncomfortable knowing.”

Edmund laughed at that, “I’ll bet. I wonder what the girls would say.”

“Oh they both know.” He looked stunned, “Neither was particularly surprised or interested for that matter. All Lucy wanted to make sure of was that I had someone I loved.”

He gulped as curiosity got the better of him, “And do you?”

“Yes, we’ve been together for seventeen years. Your parents loved my John’s cooking and were often our dinner guests.”

Ed gapped at him. This information was all new to him and put a whole new complexation on what he thought he knew.

“So I take it this girl that turned you down wasn’t?” He had a flash of Caspian laying on top of him with a sleepy smile on his face. He flushed and nodded.

The doctor went on, “Yes, I see. Let’s get on with the exam.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to do think will happen next for Edmund and Caspian? I look forward to writing it and might incorporate your ideas, if it matches my flow for story.  
> Thank you for kudos and comments,  
> Anne


	8. Paradigm Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian is trying to tell himself something.)

Caspian found the day excessively long. He could usually easily manage a night without sleep, but today was different. His head ached as he lingered obsessively on events of the previous day. It was late afternoon and he had his tutoring session with Lucy. She was working on her geometry homework. He usually worked the problems with her, but today he just stared at the bookshelves in the library and tried to stay awake.

“You know it wasn’t suicide.” Lucy offered out of the blue near the end of the session.

“What?” He said startled, realizing he was just about to nod off.

Lucy clarified, “Edmund on the roof in the rain. He wasn’t trying to kill himself. That is not his style, if he really wanted to end it he would. No hesitation.” Caspian gapped. He was somehow both relieved by this news and horrified at her matter a fact pronouncement of it. She went on, “He really just wants to suffer. He’s still feels guilty, but something lately has made it worse.”

He repeated, “Guilty?” At her words his stomach turned and his headache flared.

“Yeah, he always blamed himself for the accident, but mom and dad would never have blamed him. It couldn’t have caused the accident.” She said seeming to be trying to convince herself.

“It?” He felt his heart hammering and gulped.

“Well, I shouldn’t have told you that much, but really Ed can be so stupid sometimes,” She replied cryptically and lean in conspiratorially. “You won’t tell him, well you?”

He was perplexed, “Lucy, I have no idea what you are on about. Still I only want to help Edmund. I’m trying to be the friend he really needs right now.”

She stared appearing to be sizing him up and countered seriously, “I really hope you can. So far you have made quite a mess of it.”

Of all the Pevensies, she was too sharp for her own good. He no longer wondered how she knew these things, but just answered truthfully. “I know I’ve been thoughtless, but I promise to be more forthright with him from now on.”

She arched an eyebrow before replying, “Be careful that you really know what you are about, too.”

Caspian looked imploringly at her, “Lucy, I’m all in right now. Can you at least give me a hint what you mean?”

She chewed on her lower lip while she thought it over. She stacked up her homework, stood, and walked to the door. He sighed heavily, he’d have for work it out later. Finally in the doorway she turned and blushing said, “Are you sure you understand your friendship with Edmund?” Then she left the library as quickly as possible. He stared after her blankly and unable to understand her blushing over that benign statement.

When he finally came out of his confused reverie he when to his rooms. Caspian felt far too unsettled to sit through a Pevensie family dinner today. He tried to study but only had enough brainpower left to copy out note cards with medical terms for later memorization.

~***~

By 8pm he was getting into bed and he was so weary that he felt dizzy. He mind spun with scattered thoughts. Memories flashed in his mind brief but charged with strong emotions, just like lightning. First, he looked up from the sidewalk and saw Edmund on the roof as his heart accelerated in fear and dread.

Next, his father’s measured weak voice was telling him, “My dear son Miraz, I won’t be coming home. It is my time. Know I have no choice. You must remember how proud I am of you, all that you are, and all that you will become with your kind and pure heart. I know you will succeed in life with your drive, just remember to make room for love.” He wailed and denied the truth of his father’s impending death.

Then he saw Edmund’s distressed face as he turned at the door yesterday and said, “You were never my friend and these lessons are over.” The next flash was Edmund’s pleasant warmth under him as he woke this morning. He recalled the strange unsettling heat that rose within him.

Next, it was eleven years ago and his grandfather’s angry words echoed in his mind, “You are to end this perversion now. You will not defile our family name.” The words burned as he accented each word with a strike from his belt on his bare behind. Finally, he drifted into an uneasy fitful sleep.

He dreamt that he wandered forlorn in a desolate post-apocalyptic city. He encountered a small inconsolable boy with a clean hole right through his chest where his heart should be. The boy cried for his loved ones especial someone called ‘Lee’, but he could not see, or hear. Something about the boy sparked a strong fatherly affection within him. Caspian clung to the boy, calling him Lee. He provided food and shelter for him but he was never even acknowledged by the child. In time they were savagely attacked by the enemy. He tried and failed to save him. A grizzled fighter that had his grandfather’s angry eyes struck the boy down.

He woke with a start, his heart beat stuttering, eyes tearing, and panting in fear. He was usually lucid enough in his dreams to recognize them and control them. He had to after his father had died and his dreams began to haunt him. This particular night’s dream had been different. First it went to go on through several dreams on to the bitter ending. Second, he was completely helpless against all the intense emotions coursing through him. It turned him into a shivering, crying mess. As soon as he calmed down enough to only whimper he sat up. He took out a notebook and wrote down his dream as tears streamed down his face. It was like poison pouring out, but he had to know what it all meant because that was the only way to stop it. Then he set about clearing his mind. He got up and to denying sleep by playing Skyrim.

All too soon his mind started to wander back to his dream and sleep started to come over him. He got up, dressed warmly and went up to the roof. His breath came out in a warm puff of mist as the city lights shone on the damp streets. He felt some calm returning as he gazed up at the ever so slightly brightening early morning sky. When he was in boarding school he often sat on the roof at night just to be alone and regain his calm.

Because of the _incident_ , only a few months after his father’s death, his nearest living relative, his grandfather, never let his first name pass his lips again. His grandfather was a bastard that only ever wanted his servitude, so he gladly gave up the name they shared, Miraz. The name Lee from his dream rolled around his head in the whimpers of the child. He had forgotten his childhood friend’s name was Lee. He had the suspicion the child was him, one of the walking wounded. His grandfather had dispatched Lee’s mother, the head cook, and ruthlessly burned all his pictures of Lee in front of his tear stained face.

After that he desperately tried to please the man, but he never regained even a semblance of family feeling from him. He was always cruel and commanding and treated Caspian like just another possession. He wondered if his kind indulgent father had spoiled him into expecting love. Occasionally he accepted the truth that the man would never care for him and he acted out in anger that mostly just punished himself.

He was a deeply wounded teen, but he never broke under the strain. Finally he accepted that he was forsaken and he vowed that he would never let anyone touch his heart again. After that he was strong, enough to rebuild, and finally strong enough to rebel. He had to keep up the premise of politics up until he finished undergraduate school, but now he had a scholarship and this job to support himself through medical school. He was officially free of his family.

Now just a few short months later he had let the Pevensies get a hold on him. He felt caged but oddly, even with the drama from Edmund, he did not feel trapped or powerless. He wondered if maybe he had some latent protective tendencies that Edmund was drawing out. He shivered at a chill wind, his priority was to get that misguide child away from the bastard hurting him. He clenched his fists and grit his teeth just thinking about the plethora of ugly bruises marring Edmunds beautiful alabaster skin.

He took a few deep breaths and sighed. He had to be calm if he was going to make any headway with Edmund. He had just alienated him and the next thing he knew the boy was in trouble. It occurred to him that he may have gone on to the roof right after their argument. Could he have felt that strongly about their friendship or did that motherfucking master call him? The angry and pained look as Edmund chastised him, came back to his mind and he shivered. He told himself that bastard probably called him. Regardless, he needed to humble himself and open up.

The only problem was he no longer knew how to be open. Furthermore, he knew the only memory that had any power to reach Edmund was the _incident_ with Lee. He ran his hands through his hair as he began shaking. He rubbed his temples trying to calm himself, _he couldn’t even think about it without go to pieces. How was he going to tell Edmund about it?_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your kudo's. Comments would be greatly appreciated.  
> Thank you,  
> Anne


	9. Full Disclosure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian has trouble opening up.)

Edmund was understandably nervous about seeing Caspian again. He didn’t go to dinner yesterday, so clearly he was avoiding him. He was no longer the disinterested man who had been supporting him these past few months but, he hoped… _well he didn’t dare hope_. The boy envied him his impassive expressions, cool immaculate style, and ever graceful poise under stress. He knew he would be angry with him and probably lecture him, but he didn’t feeling the same defiance as with Peter.

He was not prepared for the site that greeted him on opening the library door. _Caspian was disheveled._ His clothes were rumpled and he slouched over the table hands holding his lowered face. His usually smooth long hair stuck up where he had been running his fingers through it.

When he looked up he noticed stubble where he usually shaved to keep his short slim beard tidy and red rimmed eyes. “Please Edmund, I want to speak with you. Will you sit down?”

Usually he gave polite commands, today he was humble and beseeching. Ed rushed over to him putting a hand on his shoulder, “What happened? Are you feeling alright?”

The long haired man flinched and withdrew his shoulder with a terse, “I’m fine.” Ed was too shocked to do anything but silently sit down. _What the fuck is going on?_

The crumpled man swept his gaze toward him and was imploring, “I owe you an apology and much more. I really have wanted to be your friend, but I’ve been too closed off for so long that I no longer know how to be a friend.” He glancing away, “In good faith all I can do is tell you about my tainted past. Things that I’d rather forget, but that are pertinent to recent events. I hope that once you hear me out you will forgive my thoughtless neglect of our friendship.” He was waiting tense with his face leaning down and away for a response.

Edmund felt just as baffled, but he soften at the earnest appeal, “Caspian, I will keep your secrets as you have kept mine.” His hand rose toward him but he changed his mind and drew it back quickly.

The older man faintly sighed, turning to face Ed. “I have a lot to say, but please limit your interruptions or I might not get through it.” He pursed his lips, “I never knew my mother and my father was my whole world. He was the kindest, most gentle, loving man. I adored him.”

He looked down such that his hair covered his eyes and crossed his arms in front of him on the table. “When I was eight he found out he had cancer. For a long time he fought it and my life revolved around chemo treatments and increasing rare good days in which we celebrated life together. He took me out of school and I was home taught so we would have more time together. I never doubted his love or that he would always be there. Sadly it was not to be. When I was twelve, he finally lost his battle with cancer. I was left to the mercy of my grandfather. Only he didn’t have any.” He ended flatly.

The teen could not believe this tragic childhood fit such a seemingly put together adult. Still his appearance convinced him of his sincerity. Truly this was the real Caspian that he had wanted to know. He subdued the urge to hug him tightly. All he felt he could do was coax him onward, “I’m listening.”

He cleared his throat, “You see I was named Miraz after my grandfather, but I was never good enough for him. Without my father as buffer I found out how just much he disapproved of me. I never knew why, but suspected my mother was not acceptable and I’m convinced that he somehow took her away from me. My father stood between us, sheltering me. His face would cloud with pain whenever I asked about her. As he lay dying, I could not bring myself to ask about her in his few remaining lucid moments.” He wiped at his eyes and sniffled.

“Oh Caspian.” He cried lamely and then was quiet.

The man was breathing heavily and his hands shook, “So I spent that summer alone with my grandfather in our mansion. It was alright as long as I stayed away from him. I mostly played with my best friend Lee, the cook’s son. We had been fast friends for as long as I could remember. Lee was happy and confident and always ready for mischief or a dare. He went to public school, but we still spent many hours playing together. Um… Uh…”

He looked down at his hands where he was wrenching his fingers tightly alternating between his right and left hands. “He was without a father and I without a mother, so from an early age we tended to compare everything and boast our situation was best. When my father died, he was the only one who could get me to smile. The thing was I became obsessed with uh, sex, really I think it was to avoid thinking about my dad. We both were curious and had discussed our wet dreams.” He put his elbows on the table and lay his face into his open hands. Edmund was glad Caspian wasn’t looking, he simple tried to still his rapid heartbeat and heat rising through his body. “Really I’m not gay. I just was, was just… inquisitive so, finally one day I dared him to show me his and said I would show him mine. He said he would do it, if I touched him. It all happened so fast, but soon we were both undressed and jerking each other off.” Caspian let out a choking sob, “That was when my grandfather found us.”

Edmund gasped and bit his tongue to keep quiet. The older man’s pitch and speed increased, “My grandfather was livid and beat my bare ass with his belt until I couldn’t walk. All the time he called me crude names and said I dishonored him. Then he fired the cook and eradicated every last memento of my friend. I spent the next week in my room, while the kindly loyal butler tended my wounds. He explained to me how wrong my actions were and hoped that I would learn to be the man my grandfather wanted me to be.” At that he collapsed onto the table covering his head with his arms weeping.

The stunned teen stroked his hair and back just as his mother had done when he was small. “Sh, Sh, Sh…. It is all over now. I don’t care what your bastard grandfather said. It is normal to be curious.” The older man shook his head. “Caspian really, everyone does weird stuff. I played strip Uno with Susan and my cousin once.” Inside his head he added _it was just that I was more interested in his body than hers_.

Caspian looked up at that, “What?” and Ed blushed brightly. The older man gave a faint smirk.

He smiled back, “So you see we are all creepy at that age. It doesn’t mean anything. Don’t be ashamed.” The teen put his hand on the older man’s arm. Caspian looked up and weakly returned his smile. While it was slight, it was the most beautifully thing Edmund had ever seen. He tried not to react to the butterflies in in his stomach or thumping of his heart.

Caspian sighed, seemed to ease and actually maintained eye contact with him, “From that day forward he never used my name again. I was child or boy, not even grandson left his lips.” 

Caspian snatched his hand with both of his and pulled it close to his chest. His chocolate eyes were deeper than he had ever seen them. Edmund’s heartbeat went into a staccato stutter at the open eager face intently looking at him and heat rose within him. He was so dazed it took a few moments to catch up to what Caspian was saying. “…that I know what it is like to hate yourself and to be alone. It is not the end. Don’t let it be the end. Don’t let that bully hurt you again. I’m here to help you, to be the friend you need. The friend we both need.”

Edmund flushed red and stuttered out, “I… Caspian… I don’t… Um…. Yeah.” He withdrew his hand and turned away. The teen went to retrieve his backpack from near the doorway ever so slowly trying to get his breathing under control. Then the older man reached for tissues to wipe his eyes. They both set about studying with no further mention of their discussion. Even with Ed’s unease from the confession he found the atmosphere was friendly and slowly he regained his self-control. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts.  
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	10. Crash and Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund is looking for relief but in the wrong place.)  
> Warnings: BDSM, Non-con, slavery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well contrary to my update status I have been working steadily on this story. I wanted to make sure I knew where I was going before I posted the next chapter, so I have parts of seven more chapters written and several more mapped out. Given that I should be able to manage updates every two weeks.  
> Thanks for sticking with it,  
> Anne

Edmund hardly slept that night. He could not stop imaging himself with Caspian after that inflaming confession of his. _What was wrong with him?_ After such a tragic story he should have only compassion for him, and he did, but he couldn’t help the fact that he had actually done something so… incredibly… homo erotic… He was mortified and did not allowing himself to masturbate, instead he spent the whole night trying to damp down his lust with guilt. _I’m so fucked up,_ he berated himself _._

He had worried about the next days’ study session. He was not prepared for the changes at dinner beforehand. Caspian greeted them all warmly with a friendly smile each, only the smile for him had an earnest edge he had never seen before. 

He sat on the end near him and Susan, but instead of engaging Susan in a conversation, as usual, he turned to him. “The garden is beautiful Edmund. Your orchids are stunning. How do you do it?”

He schooled his face to hide his discomfort at being singled out, “The truth is that orchids are easy if you’re patient. They actually thrive with minimal care.” Caspian centered his conversation around him all through dinner. He reluctantly let a small smile show through his careful reserved mask. It was wonderful to have his attention but all too dangerous. He a felt himself falling more and more. The trend continued over the next few days. Caspian even came to helped in the garden in what little spare time he had.

He hated it when he was right. He was so fucked. Obviously Caspian cared and he could he could no longer deny he had fallen for the man. He still felt little hope at his acceptance of these facts. Obviously that incident in his past was so traumatic that the man would run from even the slightest suggestion of romance from him. Caspian was his friend now, but he was still one hundred percent off limits. The smart thing to do would be to break off his friendship, but he was weak. He could not reject what had been so genuinely and tenderly given. Deep down he felt it was only a matter of time before he failed Caspian. Either he would make a pass or Jadis would find him, and that would end everything.

He had lost touch with Jadis since he destroyed his phone. Peter refused to get him another until his first SAT test scores showed he was on track. The ever encouraging Peter assumed he would need to take it again and maybe even a third time to get a decent score. He had taken the test the day before all this exploded. That was part of the reason he had so many bruises when Caspian saw them. Usually Jadis was careful to leave minimal marks. The day before the test he had told him that he was nervous and he was having a hard time concentrating. He obliged by giving him an extra hard beating. He was calm and relax on the day of the test and he was confident that his score would be good.

He just needed Jadis to bring him peace, but it was just too complicated for anyone to understand, least of all Caspian. Slowly the roof incident all came back to him and he hesitated at the thought that Winter would have him do something potentially fatal. It left him anxious and unsettled.  Then on top of that his feelings for Caspian… Well, he really needed something to take the edge off.

He didn’t normally see much of Winter at school and had been extra careful to avoid him recently due to his talk with Caspian. He knew he would find him eventually and make him pay dearly for his absence. Still he would not be able to resist him when he did see him. His stomach turned and he binned his lunch again. He morosely walked to his next class thinking distractedly that he was living on borrowed time.  

Sure enough Jadis came up behind him as he was leaving school the very next day. He leaned in saying, “So my dear pigeon, you really think you can do without me?”

Edmund stiffened, but didn’t turn or speak. He spun up in fear, both wanting him and not. Jadis lazily put an arm around his neck, but he felt the concealed knife pressed flat side into his neck. That was just like him, the friendly Winter part with an arm around him and the hidden Jadis part ready to cut.

“Say it,” Jadis breathed into his ear.

“You own me, master” He intoned obediently. 

“That is right,” He stopped and turned him so they faced each other. Then he pulled him close and kissed him biting his lip hard.

Ed blanched, pushed him away, and stepped back shouting, “What do you think you are doing? Fucking jerk!” He wiped the blood from his lip and looked around quickly panicked. _Holy shit, what if Lucy saw that!_ He stared down, but strangely was unable to move away.

“That is a taster for avoiding me,” Jadis crooned unconcerned but went on in a low venomous voice, “I’ll do worse if you avoid me again. I will not be cast off. I’m the only one who really knows you. And knows what you need.” Winter reached for him and tipped his chin up to look him in the eye. He smiled warmly and consoled him, “Last time we spoke you were agonizing over some boy. He gave you a reason to hope didn’t he, but he won’t fall for a pathetic fag like you. How can he with the blackness in your soul? Now tell me all your troubles. Let me help you.”

 _Hell, he is right,_ thought Edmund as his shaky confidence weakened further. He felt an odd thrill knowing that Winter wanted him and wouldn’t let him go so easily. He replaced the friendly looking arm around his shoulder with its concealed barb and smoothly steered him to his car. 

He would get extra today and there was nothing he could do about it. It didn’t help that he felt he deserved to be punished and in a sick way he wanted it, too. It was just that life was more than he could handle right now. Caspian was way too close but so very far away. It was a delicate never ending torment. Now he would lose him for sure, he thought dejectedly.

He let go of his ever highly wound self-control and let everything spill out to Winter, even all the dirty fantasies about Caspian. It was strangely cathartic. Winter commiserated and Jadis chuckled as he berated him throughout, but it didn’t really hurt. He agreed with him and had already said worse in his own head. It was more shocking to see he was right, he, Winter was the only one who accepted him for what he was: a black hearted murder who couldn’t even keep from lusting after a dear friend. After their talk Winter had him call Peter and explain he wouldn’t be home until late.

“You certainly have limited me. I can hardly leave a mark on you given how closely that _friend_ of yours is watching you now, but you deserve a thorough thrashing. So I’ll need to get creative. Well my little fagot, you’d better undress and put your hands on the wall.”

He mechanically undressed while Jadis was busy collecting his supplies. It was warm enough in the garage but he still shivered as he felt incredibly exposed standing naked in front of the cold blank wall. He felt a tingling anticipation as he faced the wall and put his hand above his head splayed out. Then he braced his legs waiting for the first strike knowing he would likely have to count through the pain. Jadis put on eerie loud music that was a collection of strident noises and jarring notes. He began with a large fat leather strap that stung, but wouldn’t leave a mark. He was not asked to count so Edmund sighed and sank into the moderate pain to lose himself. He missed this so much.

After a while Jadis stop to run his hand over his inflamed skin slowly making his way to every welt on his back. Then he took his hands lower over the welts on the curve of his ass. “Let’s make this interesting.” Jadis mused as he poured cold thick but slimy fluid down the crack of his ass and Edmund jumped. He slapped him hard on the ass and scolded, “Don’t move. A dirty little fagot like you will probably like being violated but, if not, consider it aversion therapy.”

Edmund began shaking, he had never done anything like this before and it was terrifying with Jadis in control. Sure he had fingered himself and he dreamed of Caspian taking him, but that was different. He did not trust Jadis or feel safe, but all the same his most intimate spot was open to him and he couldn’t stop him. He resisted every urge he had to fight. That would only get him cut by Jadis’ knife.

He laughed cruelly at his trembling as he pressed his thumb on his puckered hole. “You have to relax Edmund. Just dream of your dear Caspian reaming you.” After a few minutes with no change he tutted and moved away. Ed was too paralyzed in fear to even move let alone think of running.

He came back with a thick black blindfold and rope. He fastened the blindfold and tied Edmund’s hands behind his back. He took the long end of the rope and tied it somewhere above him to leave him bent forward with his hands stretched above his back. Presenting himself perfectly to his tormentor. Somehow he felt less anxious blindfolded and tied up. Maybe it was knowing he was truly helpless not just held in place by his own fear.

“So you’re a dirty minded boy. Let’s see if we can work out some of those kinks, hm…” He rubbed some wavy bar over his ass as near as Edmund could tell. Then he slid it along his crack. He alternated that with sharp strikes with a paddle. 

Finally he began to relax into his bondage. That was when Jadis struck shoving the first bump of what was probably an anal dildo in sharply. He screamed in shock and pain. Jadis only cooed in pleasure, “You still owe me for your absence now comes your payment my dirt little fagot. You are taking all seven beads and each is larger than the next. So hold on for the ride.”

He screamed and pushed out but Jadis only went on pushing each bead in deeper. He cried and begged, but none of it helped. It felt like he was being split in half and soon it would push right through his stomach. The bastard had him counting again, too. This time it was a desperate number seven he strove to survive to. He dearly hoped that his count was right and that was the last one as he felt ready to collapse. He felt an odd pressure flat against his crack.

He was sweating, panting and freely crying as he began to relax in the hope he would take it out now. Instead he felt a sharp whack from the wooden paddle on his ass and that pushed the dildo deeper causing him to scream. “Now Edmund you get to count to 20 for me. You know what happens if you lose count.”

He was sure he would never make it, he barely made it through the seven beads. Still he was determined that this particular torture would end as soon as possible. He counted out so intently that his pain and screams faded into the background. He listened to the not really music more assiduously as he counted, just now it was splintering wood. As he neared the end the music changed from jack hammering to crushing metal. He knew that sound, it haunted him. The memory of the car crash engulfed him as he lost consciousness. 

When he came around someone was waving smelling salts under his nose. He was lying on his stomach on a cot with a soft blanket over him. He was disoriented and thought that he was just in the accident, but no, that was a long time ago. As he took in his physical body’s state he noticed he was naked and something cool and soothing coated the inside his abused asshole. He suddenly knew where he was and who was with him, the bastard. 

Winter was encouraging him, “Come on Edmund you are alright now. You were so beautiful today. You must know how much this makes me want you. I’m here to take care of you and make everything alright.” He went on with sweet empty nothings as Ed numbly gazed at him blinking. Usually afterward his mind would be completely blank also, but today he remembered the crashing noise and a niggling thought invaded his head saying _this is intolerable_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos rolling in. Let me know what you think. I love comments and reply to all the ones I can.   
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	11. Gooey Apprehension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian and Lucy are suspicious when Edmund misses dinner.)

At dinner that evening Lucy was openly dismayed that Edmund was missing while Caspian hid his concern. _Edmund was always here before. I’ve never heard that boy refer a friend. Does he have any?_

Peter answered Lucy’s urgent question with confidence, “Edmund is working with a classmate on a joint project today. He said he would have dinner there and be home late.”

“I don’t know of any project.” Caspian said thoughtfully.

“Did he give his classmates name?” Lucy asked

That cause Peter pause, “He just said it was the son of one of the principals.”

“The only one I know of is Winter Jadis.” Lucy said with a worried look that swept over everyone and settled on Caspian.

“What class is it for?” The bearded man asked as casually as possible. He knew Lucy was worried but, he thought it would be best to keep her older brother from being alerted to the fact he was also.

Again Peter hesitated, “I don’t know…”

“We can ask him all this when he gets home. I’d like to talk about our Thanksgiving plans.” Susan interrupted.

“I’ll bet it is something about the new novel assigned in literature,” the tutor offered.

“That would be it. If someone can get Edmund to start a project as soon as it is given I’m all for it.” Peter agreed.

Susan eagerly began, “Caspian, would you like to join us for Thanksgiving? We always do a traditional dinner and….”

Caspian barely heard her, instead he nodded and watched Peter carefully. As soon as the blond refocused on his dinner, Caspian shared a meaningful look with Lucy. They both understood that they would talk later.

~***~

Lucy hurried through dinner and left the dining room as soon as it would not arouse suspicion. She usually would have Peter checking on her homework at this time of day, but luckily it was his turn to clean up. She sat at the library table tapping her fingers as she waited for Caspian. He was waylaid by Susan, who having been snubbed for Edmund all week was enjoying have the tutor to herself. Lucy frowned in distaste at her sisters’ empty jealously and transparent maneuvers. _Couldn’t she see that Ed and Caspian needed each other? Both were so very alone. She on the other hand could have anyone and didn’t give a damn before Ed caught his attention._ She clenched her fists on the table.

Caspian came in and shut the door. He started without preamble, “You and I both know this is a fake excuse. What do you know?”

She immediately took up the conversation, “It’s hard to know anything for sure. The rumors about Winter are vague, but hushed with fear. Nobody messes with him although he is not physically menacing. While tall he is slim, slight even. Still he has a power about him that intimidates most everyone. The only specific I have is that he has been kicked out of five other schools.”

He frowned deeply, “Have you seen them together at school?”

“Hum…, No. I see Winter a lot. The thing is he kind of stands out and lots of girls like him including a friend of mine. I don’t get it. Sure he is handsome and has style, but for all that he is cold, heartless even. I would know if Edmund ever was friendly to him. My girlfriend would badger me to meet him.”

“Do you recall if Edmund’s treatment by bullies has change since the start of the year?”

“Now that you mention it, it does seem that the bullies ignore him completely now. Earlier they hounded him. I did not make the connection, but if Winter warned them off, that is disturbing.”

“I don’t like it. I think Edmund has landed himself in deep trouble. Lucy, try and find out more, but don’t push and don’t make him suspicious. I want him to feel he can go to you for help. Just please keep your eyes and ears open at school. Alright?

She felt her stomach clench as her body jangled nervously and it was her turn to ask, “What do you suspect? How bad is it?”

“I don’t know yet, but I will find out.” He said gritting his teeth with a hard glint in his eye as he chewed his lip thoughtfully.

“Won’t you tell me your suspicions? That way I’ll know what to looking for.” She asked uneasy.

“No, I won’t unless I know more.” He looked away and turned on his laptop that sat on the table to signal the end of the conversation.

She frowned pursing her lips and sighed, “I’d better go before Peter comes looking for me.”

~***~

The penthouse apartment became quiet and still about 9:30 pm when the Lucy gave up the wait and went to bed. Her and Peter spread out on the kitchen table to study. Usually Peter retreated to his desk in his room. Caspian stayed in the library but opened the door to be sure and catch the sound of Edmund arriving. About midnight the wait was over for both of them.

“Where the hell have you been?” Peter stage whispered crossly to Edmund.

“We were having fun playing video games and I lost track of time.”

“So were you studying at all? Caspian didn’t know of any project.”

“We studied! I just got the assignment and we got a good start. So what if reward myself with some fun. It isn’t due for five weeks.”

“I want to talk to a parent next time and you are not to stay out this late ever again on a school night.”

“You refused to get me another phone so you can hardly be mad that I was late. I just forgot, alight.”

“You destroyed the other phone. Of course I want some assurance you are responsible before I get you another.”

“It is just a phone, Peter. You sound like you care more about it than about me.”

“How can you say that? You are my only brother and my responsibility. Of course you’re more important.”

“Ooouu… Now I’m convinced.” He replied sarcastically, slamming what was likely the door to his room. Peter didn’t move for a while, then he noisily collected his books and stalked off to his room.

~***~

An hour later Caspian was still distractedly carding his hands through his hair, as he often did when stressed, as he mulled over the evenings events. He keep going over it all in his head. He had been with Jadis since 4pm today, five whole hours. Why? The only reason he would think of was that he was his ‘Master’. Lucy’s stories of getting kicked out of school and intimidating bullies would fit. Worse, what had that bastard done to him? How badly beaten was he? Would he try and hide it from him? Most importantly, his first try to reach him hadn’t worked, so how hard will it be to get through to him?

An image of the ugly bruises running down his back marring his beautiful pale skin flashed in his mind. A rush of anger flushed through him, followed by heated panic. He found himself storming into Edmund’s room without a knock. He could not take the chance that he would be turned away.

He knelt down and gazed for a few thunderous heartbeats at the beautiful youth sleeping serenely. He gentle shook him. “Edmund, wake up,” flowed softly from his lips.

The boy gazed up confused and sleepy, “What’s up Caspian?” He winced when he shifted onto his side, leaning on his elbow.

The Caspian realized not only that he had been right about the beating, but how much he dearly wanted to be wrong. “Really Ed, I need your promise to stay away from him,” He pleaded.

“Who?” He asked nonplussed.

“Who do you think? Your Master.” The man barked.

“Um… I can’t do that.” He replied flatly.

“What?!”

“He’ll find me anyway. It’s not like an acquaintance and I can’t do anything about it.” He rationalized.

“Ed this is dangerous. You would have fallen off the roof if I didn’t find you.” He barked in anger.

He gulped and bowed his head, “Nobody really cares if I die. My family would be sad out of duty but nothing else.” 

Caspian found he was shaking. He leaned into grabbed the boy by his elbows and shook him. “I care!” He roared. That caused Ed to look up. Then he paused, but before he could stop himself he added with a strangled voice, “Edmund you’re the only one I’ve got.” Embarrassed, but undeterred he hugged him around his shoulders pinning the upper half of his arms and pressed his head into his chest, silently trying to still the tears leaking out of his eyes. He was reassured 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is my next update, on schedule even. I appreciate the kudos.   
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	12. Floundering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund talks to everyone but only seems to dig himself in deeper.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with Caspian hugging Edmund as told from Edmund's POV.

Edmund had to be dreaming because Caspian was tightly hugging him. _How could this be real?_ He wanted to embrace him back and begin kissing him feverishly. _I am such a pervert. I should push him away and say I don’t want to be friends_. He actually hugged him back because he couldn’t resist.

“Really Caspian, I agreed to this. It’s alright.” He said only slight breathlessness from the thrill of his embrace.

“Ed, if you can’t quit then it is not consensual and it is not alright.” He spit back.

He hesitated at that, “But he would never really hurt me.”

The older man carded his hair, “Do you have a safe word?” The boy looked blankly at him. “Do you have a way to tell him to stop if it is too much for you?” The teen made his face blank and did not response.

As he carefully watched he was shocked to see Caspian’s eyes practically shatter, “Ed, you don’t understand. It will just keep escalating until he sends you to the hospital or worse the morgue.”

Edmund laughed nervously, “You’re kidding right.”

“No, I’m NOT!” He shook him again. He suddenly seemed to notice how hard he was gripping his arms and let go. “Alright, prove it. What did he do to you? How badly are you injured?” He demanded.

“You don’t understand this just helps me focus. I’m not hurt. It was just a paddling.”

“That is not what I saw on the roof.”

“He apologized, he didn’t understand about the hypothermia.” He lied. Jadis only laughed about that part of his narrative, calling him stupid for following through on his instructions.

“Yeah and those bruises were just make-up. Don’t insult me by lying about it Edmund.”

“That was at my request. I was nervous about the SAT test. He even tends to me after.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’ll show you.” He took off his t-shirt and showed Caspian the slight welts and red marks with salve on them. Caspian tentatively ran a hand over the marks ever so light causing Edmund to shiver. The older man stilled at that before he withdrew his hand quickly.

 His look turned hard, “If that is the case why did you wince when you sat up?”

He wasn’t sure how to answer that one. He couldn’t possibly tell him how Jadis has violated him, but either could he think of a lie.

“Obviously you are hiding more injuries. Don’t you see, this is more than just welts or bruises? He is really going to hurt you and soon. Don’t lie to yourself.” The tutor pleaded.

This interrogation was going too far so he denied it all, “I am just a little achy. It is nothing.”

Caspian gave him a hard piercing look and he stared back defiantly. After a short stalemate the man huffed and gave a sad frown shaking his head. “I’ll be here for you when you want to really talk about this.” He paused pensive, before his look softened and he put a hand on his bare shoulder, “Edmund, you’re not the horrible person you think you are. Your parents would say the same if they could. Don’t let him take you away from us.” The teen remained absolutely still as his heart danced at his use of the word ‘us’.

He gave the still statue of a boy a brief tight hug, “Think about it seriously Ed. I can help you get away from him.” And he left.

Edmund’s heart fluttered briefly before he started to fume. He knew the tutor couldn’t really protect him, even if he wanted to. He was at medical school all day. He had his own life. It was just another appealing lie, he couldn’t count on any help.

He flopped back on his bed and winced. All the same, it was distressing lying to the Caspian, but more importantly he began to question himself, too. His niggling doubts about Jadis flared up again. At first he thought mostly of the car crash noises, but that was not all that had bothered him. He knew some might of have found it arousing, but the anal violation had only been demeaning and painful. He thought it wasn’t erotic to Jadis either, it was about inflicting pain. Caspian had a point about consent, but would Winter really hurt him enough to send him to the hospital? He turned away from that line of thinking. He had no choice and after all he deserved it. He was a monstrosity.

He trembled at the memory of Caspian’s hug. He was so tender and sincere. _He really seemed to care about me of all people. I just wish I could believe it_. He knew the score. It didn’t matter that Caspian was his friend now or that his parents were friends with a gay couple. Sure his parents may not have been prejudice about homosexuals, but that is not the same has having your twelve year old son be one. _Why did he break down and tell them?_ True the bulling was getting rough, but if he didn’t blab about his problems, his parents would be here today. It was his fault they were gone and nothing would ever change that. He felt desolately and cold, but he didn’t cry. Maybe just being gay would have been fine, but he was different from everyone because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and his parent’s died as a result. _Never again will I blab and that includes about Jadis._ He felt it as walls closed down around him and he sat alone in a cold dark cell of his own making.  

~***~

Caspian apparently had let the matter rest. At the same time he had kept an inordinately close eye on him. He moved their tutoring to right after school and he knew it was to make sure he came right home afterward. All this protectiveness just felt false. As if anyone could really help him.

He had explained to Winter about the tutoring, so thankful they could not meet alone after school. But he still made things worse by demanded Ed be with him at school. That bastard Jadis said he wanted to show everyone he belonged to him. He had to sit with him at lunch and follow him around school, much to his irritation. Many people had seen them kiss and now they were the subject of school gossip. So much for not being out. He suspected this is just what Jadis meant when he said that kiss was a punishment. It was just another proof that he was his. If only he could keep Lucy from telling the others maybe it would be alright.

On the second day of ‘dating’ Edmund went to talk to Lucy after his tutoring session for the day was canceled. It was something about a test, but he could see the truth. Caspian was avoiding him that was hardly a surprise. She looked up from the couch where she sat with her laptop.

“I’ve been expecting you. Is it true?” She looked at him intently.

“Depends what you mean.” He asked reluctantly.

“Did he kiss you in the parking lot? Did you even have a project? Are you dating Winter?”

He looked down and breathed, “Yes.”

“Why would you? He is cold as ice. He only wants you as a possession.”

“I don’t expect you to approve of me,” he threw back.

“It is not that. Edmund I’ve known a long time and I still love you. It is him I don’t approve of.”

“Is it alright as long as I don’t show it, I get it.” He barked at her infuriating kindness.

“Ed stop being an idiot. It is because he doesn’t love you… he can’t. He doesn’t even understand love. You know I know what I’m talking about. Don’t tell me you haven’t felt his, um, emptiness.”

He hedged, knowing that she was right and cursing her knack for reading people. “He is working on changing. You’ve always said everyone deserves a second chance right?” He hedged.

She frowned and pursed her lips. “Right, sure, but I’ll be watching. And no I won’t tell the Peter and Susan. You don’t need to worry about that.”

The thanked here and left the room as his stomach turned unpleasantly. He headed automatically to the garden and the fountain where he came upon Susan tending her roses. 

“Edmund, I’ve been wanting to talk to you. You seem different lately.”

He cringed she hardly spoke to him, “Really, well it has been a hard few weeks.”

“Peter told me your roof incident was because you were distraught over a girl. You know you can come to me for advice about girls.”

“Thanks Susan, but it is far too late for that.” He answered confused by her concern.

“I’m sorry for that, but you’re a sweet boy. You’ll find someone.”

“Yeah, thanks Sue.” He intoned flatly. He had already found someone, someone untouchable. _How could I have let things get so far out of control?_ He couldn’t face her questions and left for his room as soon as she released him.

Just before dinner he was studying in his room when Peter came to find him. He wondered what the hell was going on. Was it talk to a sullen teen day? 

“I’ve thought it over and I think you need a phone.” He handed it to him, “I want you to let me know where you are all the time from now on.”

“Thank you, Peter. You will not regret it. You’ll see when the test comes out.”

Peter just looked meaningfully at him, “And….”

He flatly intoned, “I will tell you where I am all the time,” _not_ he added in his own head. At least Peter was easy to appease even if he insisted on keeping tabs on him. In fact the only one at home to leave him alone today was Caspian. That thought hurt a lot more than he anticipated. After all he had expected him to lose interest in him all along. Fuck he hated his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, this is a very slow build. It was fun having all the siblings involved. It is the real reason I wanted to do an AU. I want to start "Talk to a sullen teen" day. Let's have some real life Hallmark holidays.   
> Thank you,  
> Anne


	13. Insight and Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian makes some startling discoveries.)

It was about a week before Thanksgiving break when Jadis insisted he come over. Edmund was reluctant, but knew he had to find a way to obey. He was carefully to asked Peter after dinner when Caspian was out of the room. The next day, after his tutoring session, he left the apartment by the back way to avoid him. He knew he would have to come clean later, but couldn’t bring himself to do so before hand. The tutor would surely try to stop him and the consequences would be too serve. Not that he wasn’t already dreading seeing Jadis. Winter met him outside his apartment building. Damn why was everyone keeping tabs on him?

~***~

Caspian had been disturbed by Edmund's claim that he had no choice with Jadis, but he was lulled into thinking he had gotten through to him since all had been quite for the past several days. As soon as he heard he was gone that evening he knew he had been wrong. He excused himself from dinner due to his turning stomach and went to pacing the library where Lucy found him.

She looked intently up at him with her warm hazel eyes as she sat down, “I need to talk to you about Edmund.” Caspian looked at her expectant but pale, “I think he is dating the wrong person.”

The older man sagged in relief and sat across from her, “What is wrong with this girl.”

She diverted her eyes, “Um… you see the thing is… It is not a girl.”

He looked blankly at her just trying to get his brain to process that information. _Edmund is gay?_ He shook his head trying to clear it and focused on Lucy. She looked up and seemed apprehensive _of_ _him_? He tensed as the suspicion grew, “Who?”

Her young face was still as stone as she admitted, “Winter Jadis.”

He scowled, “Are you sure? How do you know?”

She looked down guiltily, “Well my friend saw Winter kiss him in the parking lot that day he was home late. Since then they have been together, but it is strange. Ed never listens to anyone, but he virtually cowers when he orders him about. Winter is just too cold, he’ll break his heart for sure.”

“Lucy, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He paused and bit back his anger. Surely Ed had her promise not to tell. More kindly he looked beseechingly at her, “Just, please, tell me everything.”

“Well, see the thing is… Ed has always been gay, but he seemingly hates that part of himself. Oh, he never admitted it to me, but I could tell. He is so secretive and distance about it, but clearly Jadis has something on him. He would have to, to get him to go public and they are seen at school together all the time.”

He blanched, “I see, anything else?”

“I think you know more about it than I do,” She challenged.

He stared at her dumbfounded, “What are you on about?”

She raised her eyebrows, “I know you are hiding something about the night on the roof.”

“Lucy, I can’t,” He was floored, she was so damn observant, “Maybe when you are older.”

She pursed her lips, “I’m plenty old enough”

“Not for this time.”

“It couldn’t be worse than my imagination.”

“Yes, well… sometimes imagination is better than knowing,” He could not possible tell her and he squirmed to thinking of Edmund being forced into this. _God, Edmund what have you gone and done? What does he have on you?_

Lucy stared defiantly at him, but he just put on a placid blank face raising an eyebrow waiting silently. She huffed, “I’ll let it go for now. Just get Ed the hell away from him.”

“Believe me, I will.”

~***~

His mind reeled. _He is gay, why wouldn’t he tell me after all I’ve told him? He never so much as hinted. Why all the secrecy and guilt over it?_ He began examining all their interactions and came up feeling edgy and frightened. He turned his thoughts to this boy Jadis and his relationship with Ed. He was holding something over his head he was sure. He just couldn’t understand what it could be and how come it was so effective. Why would anything make him willing to admit he was gay and be his slave. God, he needed a drink. After an hour he had had enough of waiting to see how badly Edmund was hurt this time. He had class tomorrow, but he no longer cared as he left for the bar. 

After about an hour at the bar he still could not stop the fear curling along his spine. He called Sal, since sex was one of the few things that could blot all thought from his mind. She was the best he’d had in a while and more than willing.

Soon, he found himself at her room in a large communal house forcefully screwing her into the mattress. He clung tightly to her in the post coital warmth. He confided that he was worried about a friend that was in trouble with a rough man. She casually replied, “Your friend has her own life and will find her own way. Let her, just because you like her is no reason for her to do what you want.”

“But, I don’t…” Dread settled into his stomach and his anxiety spun up again instantly.   

She smirked, “It’s alright babe. We are just having fun. I don’t mind. Speaking of fun, come on the master shower here is great. I have the key and Kay is out.” He numbly followed her lead to the master bedroom and into the shower. He needed desperately to blank his mind again.

It was not long before he was completely distracted by her tantalizing lean body. She looked so much better with her make off. You could see her porcelain skin and inordinately large eager brown eyes. He felt a rush of lust as he kissed her soft lips and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her tight. He then washed her back and lingered low to finger her crevice. She moaned and begged him to fuck her ass. He turned her and pushed her against the tiled wall face first. When he entered her she howled out, “Fuck yes.” She turned her face to look over her shoulder at him and begged, “Deeper, harder.” As she was lost in pleasure, she panted out “kiss me.” He leaned over to kiss her while holding her shoulders for leverage. He pounded into her as he felt the tight coil build inside him. All thought was obliterated as he neared her peak. “Caspian,” she moaned and he saw it for a split second, but only subconsciously. He felt his orgasm explode and he moaned out a low throaty growl of, “Edmund.” 

Only in the post coital haze did he realize what he said and that he saw Edmund in her looks, not Susan. Sal was laughing at his discomposure as she said, “So was that the Imelda that you were telling me about earlier?”

He turned ashen gray and grabbed a towel, “I have to go.”

~***~

As he entered the apartment the last thing he wanted to do was talk to Edmund. First he checked Edmund’s room very carefully and quietly. Then he headed for the roof. He was still gone and he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. No, he was with Jadis, definitely it was a bad thing. How long had he been gone? Would today be the time he ended up in the hospital? He gasped and held back a sob.

He shook, but not from the cold. His tried to marshal his thoughts but they fluttered around randomly. Ed was gay. He had subconsciously been attracted to Sal because she looked like Ed. And Jadis had him wrapped around is sick little finger. How could he agree to date him? He remembered how the roof incident happened after their argument. It surely couldn’t be because of him. God, he wished he had that much influence with him. Then he could get him away from Jadis.

He felt a flutter at the thought of Edmund wanting him back, but squashed it thinking of how little the teen even trusted him. After he told him about the incident with Lee, he had stayed away. Again why wouldn’t he just tell him?  Weren’t they friends? What is so bad about being gay? Sure, in the back of his head he heard his grandfather’s angry voice berate him for even thinking about a boy during sex. But that was different, he had been shamed into that. Hum…Lucy said Ed was ashamed too. At least they had that in common. He recalled running his hand over Edmunds’ back the night he burst into his room and his fingers tingled. Desolately he realized that he hadn’t reached him in any of their talks. He stayed on the roof thinking until the city noises quieted, but he still made no progress corralling his circular thoughts.

Knowing it was early morning he crept slowly to his room, careful to make no noise. As he passed the garden on his way to check Edmund’s room again he heard an odd low whimper. He paused to listen and heard the choking sobs. It was Edmund crying in front of the fountain. He automatically quelled his first instinct to rush in and hug him. Instead he paused feeling repulsed at his fascination with the boy. His longing was last thing Ed needed now with all the turmoil in his life.

Slowly he began to make out the words Edmund said between low sobs, “Mom, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to kill you… I’m paying for it now… It is just… it has all gotten out of control… I didn’t mean to fall in love… I was going to stay alone forever but I’m weak… as you know… I’ve tried to take my punishment… but it’s so hard… When will it be enough?… I know… I know… I can never pay enough….” He dissolved into incoherence again.

 _Oh fuck_ , he thought, _he loves that sick bastard and won’t ever leave him now._ As his stomach turned he rushed off to his room to empty it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd love to hear what you think of this chapter. Thank you for the Kudos last time,  
> Anne


	14. Imperfect Recall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian dreams of his fathers last good day with him.)

After he emptied his stomach Caspian sat back shaking. He was strangely unsettled. It was nothing like the usual drunken shakes, yet it was just as dizzying. On top of that his chest was oddly constricted. He noticed tears running down his face as he gazed at the spinning ceiling. He kept closing his eyes to stop the spinning but every time he was met with unpleasant images. He would see Edmund weeping at the fountain or dark bruises all along his back or hear him say nobody would care if he died. Any coherent thoughts fluttered away and he was left feeling like he was racing toward a jagged ravine. It was unnervingly like the torrent of emotions he felt after his father's death and Lee's forced exile. At that particular fleeting thought he vomited again. After that he could no longer stop the swirling images that now included his father and Lee. When he was sure he was done heaving, he stumbled to bed and passed into a deep sleep.

That night he found himself dreaming of one of the last good days spent with his father. It was distorted in that this father was older and gray haired, yet more alive, as if he had aged these past twelve years with him. In real life he had been too thin with sickly yellow-gray skin, and so weak just sitting up was difficult. In the dream he was an adult too and walked alongside his father's motorized scooter. As they approached the flower garden he stopped the scooter, stood. Stepping away he beckoned him forward. "Come let's keep walking together Miraz. I want to speak to you." He held out his forearm for him to support as they walked. 

"I'm so glad that you came to see me. It is lonely here without you." He rubbed his upper arm with his other hand affectionately. They walked for a while in silence while Caspian savored this moment with his father. After a while his father began, "Son, I'm so proud of the man you have become and that you have shaken off the yoke of your grandfather. It is something I was never able to do."  He halt to look him in the eye, "I won't always be here for you, so I must tell you now.... Keep room in your heart for love. Do not close down due to loneliness and grief."

Part of him tried to process what he had said and another deeper part of him remembered hearing the words before. He vaguely recalled he had been doubtful even at eleven. Another part of him felt a deep yearning stir in his heart as he recalled hugging Edmund. To his astonishment he said, "What if love is in vain? Wouldn't it be better to protect your heart?"

"Love isn't sunny and forever like the movies. It is not straightforward, but even love in vain changes you. I loved your mother Lily dearly, but circumstances dived us. She wanted us to hide from my father, but I was afraid to try. I was fearful he would make good on his threat to take you away from us. I now deeply regret that due to my own cowardice you have grown up without her. I was still young and had been deeply intimidated by him my whole life. Still such a deep love as the one I felt with her opened the world to me. It made me a better father. As painful as it was to lose her, I would not take back a single day." His face was etched in sadness as he softly smiled. 

Caspian frowned at the contrast, just as he had at eleven. Still he thought of his recent eavesdropping on Edmund and his heart twisted. He gasped out passionately, "He doesn't love me. That I might be able to accept, but it is so much worse. He loves someone who abuses him. How can you say I should still open my heart?" He felt each word of his confession deeply, but another part of him wondered at it, thunderstruck.

"Miraz, you cannot protect your heart. It will love where it wants, no matter what your head says. You can only maintain your integrity and self-respect."

"I have no idea what that means.” He cried, “And father it’s so excruciatingly painful to see him suffer. I want to help him even if I cannot have him."

"Well that makes it clear what you need to do." Caspian stared at his father baffled. He hugging him warmly before leaning back to look at his face, “You know this. You've learned about abuse in college. You need to be what is right for him now. Be a friend that will not judge and will be there to help. Prepare him to leave on his own."

He felt his heart wrenched tighter and he gasped, "But how can I do that without breaking?"

"Ah son, I know that pain all too well. I wanted to spend my life protecting you, but I could not. I wanted you to be free of grief and sorrow at my passing, but I could not. Still letting go helped me focus on you and giving you what I could in my remaining time. Don't you want as much for him? Maybe you aren't in love."

He disagreed instantly, "No, no.... I want him free. I want that more than anything else. More than any pain it may cause me."

"See this is where your integrity and self-respect comes in. You'll know you did all you could. Then when love comes around again you will be ready for it." He back up to arm’s length away, "In this way true love can only ever lift you up, regardless of how low you've been laid by it."

His father slowly faded as Caspian floated in the space between sleeping and waking. He had not dreamed of his father in a long time. It was so painful to see him yet so sweet to recall him so clearly. Most of those words he had told him when he was eleven and at the time he spent long hours puzzling over them. Then he was mostly interested in the part about his mother, but now he thought about the words on love. Was this what it was to truly love someone?

He woke lacking the hangover he expected. He thought over his dream calmly. Amazed he realized and accepted that he was in love. Further he knew he would sacrifice all to give Edmund what he really needed. It was this determination that settled him for the first time since he discovered his attraction to Edmund.


	15. Bitter Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund gets some surprising reactions)

Edmund spent the break before lunch rearranging his locker again. He was stalling and he knew it, as Jadis loomed heavy in his mind. He felt a pinch on his backside and his anger at the taunting he endured from classmates flared. He turned to back hand whoever had dared to touch him and hit Winter squarely in the face. Dread curled in his stomach as he saw his reddening cheek, yet he smile with Jadis’ evil glint in his eye. He pushed him back hard against the metal lockers and he felt the echo of yesterday’s welts and bruises. The blond then shocked him by savagely attacking his gasping mouth with a violent kiss. _What the fuck? I thought this was about control, not attraction. NO he can't._

But he could and he did. As always Jadis got just what he wanted. The tongue plundering his mouth passionately. He had never been kissed like this before and the pure sensuality of it short circuited his brain temporarily. Nobody had ever wanted him before and he kissed back with longing. Then as they broke for air he remembered forcefully where he was.

He panicked as he looked around the hall seeing a few shocked looks. Jadis smirked at his deep blush and attacked his neck. Fortunately nobody he knew was interspersed among the few remaining students that had not yet found their way to the lunchroom. He closed his eyes and wished for this to end. He finally stop but left his hand remained tightly locked around one upper arm and he drug him away. He followed, stumbling and did not see a dismayed Lucy poke her head from behind her tearful friend.

Jadis threw him roughly into an empty classroom and he hit the teacher’s desk. "Now about that back hand." His master paused as he cowered to saver the look of fear in his eyes. Then he punched him in the gut causing him to double over. Next he neatly brought his knee up to his chin and that caused him to brief black out.

He woke to Winter bathing his face with a cool towel. "My dear sweet Edmund,” he cooed. “When you're ready we can still get lunch. You've only been out a short time." Then he notice the tender way Winter held him on his lap as he sat cross legged on the floor. He was caressing his side with the arm wrapped around him. He then leaned down to lightly kiss his forehead and cheek. His hot and cold personality was getting pretty fucking annoying. He quickly stood, but that caused a dizzy spell. Winter was there to wrap a protective arm around him. _Fuck_ , he was so screwed.

Later that day in the bathroom he saw at the purpling bruise forming under his chin. And, _damn it_ , he had a large deep purple hickey on his neck in a spot he couldn't possibly hide. He paled feeing unclean as he raced for his locker. He was nauseous and shaking as he put on his coat and flipped up the collar.  No wonder that bastard kept eying him with a satisfied smirked over lunch.  

 _What will Peter and Caspian say?_ Sadly he really wished he could ask for help, but he couldn’t admit that Jadis was sexually abusing him, too. He was more determined than ever to tough it out. He sighed. This would truly be the end of what little friendship he had with Caspian. He was already disgusted with him. Now he would think this was some sick sexual relationship and would turn him away completely for being a pervert. He was irrationally furious at his vision of the tutors' response and he resolved to push the tutor away first. He wasn't lost yet. As demeaning as it was, all he had to do was hold out until his birthday in March. Then he would have his inheritance and he could disappear where Jadis would never find him.

On his way home to his tutoring session he stewed over what to do about the marks on his neck and chin. Then he remembered that he had been with Jadis last night without telling Caspian. He gulped back his trepidation and decided to act with bravado knowing it would get things over quickest. Maybe he would get lucky and he would yell at him before storming off like Peter often did.

As he entered the Library he casually sat down, "Hey Caspian I have a test in calculus this week and I'm having trouble with limits." He purposefully sat such that his hickey was on display.

Caspian was watching him carefully with an unreadable look.  He paled as Ed lifted his chin to make sure he got the full show. Then tutor gave him the oddest look. It was like revulsion with a hint of covetousness. Then he pointedly looked down as if he couldn’t stand the sight of him.

"You don't need to hide your _marks_ from me, Edmund. I won't reproach you. Still my offer for help stands. If you need me, I'm here."  The tutor looked up with trepidation in his brown eyes.

The teen could only stare back stunned. _He still offers me friendship, but why would he care?_ That was when he felt his heart clench and tears start collecting in his eyes. He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, "I don't need anyone’s help."

He trembled slightly as he got out his Calculus book and paused breathing deeply with his hand on the cover. The tutor put his hand lightly on top of Edmund's, "Just remember I'm here and I'm not going to judge you." Slowly he withdrew his hand and went to open his laptop. Ed took the opportunity to dry his eyes and they began to study.

* * *

When the study session was over Caspian escaped the library to his rooms to get a hold of himself before for dinner. He let go as he shut his bathroom door and turned the shower on.  He stripped as he gasped back his emotions. As soon as the water struck him, he sunk down to the shower floor with his hands over his face. He sobbed with abandoned as he thought of that bastard marking Edmund. In his mind he saw him beating him as he violently screwed him. Shit, this hurt so fucking much.

So this was what his father had meant all those years ago. If you really loved, you had to be able to let go at whatever cost to yourself. And he did love him. He knew as soon as he saw him, now that it was far too late to make any claim on him. He lost his chance when he didn’t follow him to the roof. Still he had to stay his friend because that was the only way to help him. He could do that much. He would be there when the time came that he wanted out. Slowly he regained his control and turned the water tepid to sooth his swollen red eyes before he prepared himself for dinner.

* * *

Lucy could see something was very wrong with Caspian as soon as he walked in. His anguish was palpable like a fog in the air. She gave him a questioning look, but he avoid meeting her eye. He said hello, but nothing more. Peter glared at Edmund's empty chair until he came in late. She saw the make-up on his neck and later his chin. It was obvious that Peter was furious about the hickey by the strangle hold he had on his fork. She knew about the hickey, but his chin, too? _Had he been fighting again?_ She had thought the only good thing about Winter was he had stopped the bulling. She recalled Ed back handing him and instantly wondered if Winter had been the bully. _Oh God Edmund! Could Caspian know this was happening?_ And she bowed her head, so nobody could see her dismay.

"What is with everyone today?" Susan said boisterously a few minutes later, "You are all far too melancholy for a Friday."

"Susan, not today." Peter crossly ordered and Lucy gave her a look to try and say not today. She huffed but made no reply.

"So what are your plans for tonight?" Lucy asked and being a dutiful sister.  She kept her occupied discussing her date that evening. Meanwhile she while watching the boys. The most disconcerting part was the way Peter looked annoyed at Caspian. It took her several minutes of observation to cypher out what he was thinking. How could Peter blame Caspian for what was going on with Edmund?  Maybe it was because Caspian looked so contrite and he assume he knew about Edmund's girl. Boys were so incredibly stupid when it came to love, so of course Peter, and Edmund for that matter, would be oblivious to the tutor's love induced anguish. Poor Caspian, just when he had except his feelings Jadis clearly marked Edmund as his. For that matter how was Jadis bulling Edmund and his boyfriend at the same time?

It was her turn to clean up and she was keeping a careful watch on Peter.  She could tell he was simmering all through dinner and would start yelling as soon as he had Edmund alone. Then she would need to keep Ed from doing something stupid. As she saw him swooping down on Edmund several things happened all at once.

Peter grasped both his upper arms and shook him soundly saying, "Edmund what have you been doing? How far did you go with this girl...." He squeezed his upper arms so tightly he had to be in pain, but Ed only lowered his head submissively. She was stunned because usually he'd push him away and fight right back.

Then before she could blink Caspian, who had been just outside the room, was between them and Peter hissed in pain. He had broken his hold and stood shielding a stunned but still passive Edmund. He was only slightly taller than Peter, but seem much more commanding as he glared down at him. "Peter, you don't want to treat Edmund that way. Don't forget you are his guardian."

Peter directed his potent anger at him, "How dare you get between me and by brother. I can never forget I'm responsible for him, while you are just the hired help."

Caspian was un-phased, "If you hurt him how can he understand how much you love him?"  This phrasing was so strange that Lucy was sure it was intended as a question to Edmund as well as Peter. Ed lifted his eyes to gaze at him perplexed.

Peter stepped forward so his red face was inches from his, "Why are you acting like one of us. We are a family, not that you would know what that is like _Miraz_." And he jabbed his finger into Caspian's chest. He smirked at the tutor’s grimace.

For the first time Edmund moved and pulled at his brother’s arm, "Stop, Peter. You are out of line. Leave him alone."

The tutor was able to quickly recompose himself and stated evenly, "Edmund, don't bother. Let's go before I do something I'd regret."

"Hey, are you threatening me?"

He turned back with a sharp stare, "No!  You were abusing a minor under your guardianship and you were harassing your employee. I'll give you the protective brother excuse this time, but if I see anything more I'll retaliate." That caused Peter to huff defensively, but also wilt with guilt as the other two left the room together. 

 


	16. Chained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Jadis becomes even harsher than before.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long delay. I had a short transitional chapter to write and it turned into three maybe four chapters before I knew. ** Warning ** heavy BDMS in this chapter that is non-con as well as male on male action. You have been warned.

Later that night Edmund found he was unable to settle on any activity. He started with studying, then reading, and soon found even his favorite video game could not distract him. He went to bed early but he couldn't stop his swirling thoughts. He keep coming back to Caspian's behavior. He thought of the way he protected him from Peter's wrath, yet it was the look he gave him as he first saw his hickey that captivated him. He must have been imagining it, because he kept thinking it looked like he wished he could have been the one to give it to him.

 _How different would it be if he could really have Caspian?_ He knew it was impossible, but he still could dream. _What would it have been like if Caspian had pushed him against the lockers?_ He wouldn't have cared one bit that they were in school. He moved his mouth thinking about it. Soon he reached down to stroke his hardening length. He recalled the warmth and softness of his hand on top of his. So gentle, but what strong long graceful fingers he has. He panted as he worked up speed. _Caspian's warm weight was over him, pressed against him, stroking him._ He bit back a moan as he orgasmed. His breath came heavily as he whispered, "Caspian."

As he came down his phone buzzed. The text was from Jadis demanding he come over even though it was already 10:30pm. He hesitated, thinking of his warm imagined Caspian as compared to the cold forceful Winter. He knew it would cost him, but he couldn't face him today. He lied saying Peter had him on restriction for the hickey. Jadis seemed to let it go, but texted a half hour later and said he had to find a way to come over tomorrow at 8pm. He said, truthfully this time, that they were planning to take Lucy to the ballet, but he replied 'just pretend to be sick my dear deviant, because I want you here.' He chewed his lip thinking and soon received a final text 'Shall I come and find you, boyfriend.' He shuttered at the hint of a threat and reluctantly complied, 'No, I'll be there, master.'

The next day Peter talked to him.  Although his voice was strained he appeared to be in strict control of his anger and he was careful not to touch him. He gave him a lecture about respect for women and birth control, neither of which applied to this situation. It was almost funny, but he didn't dare smirk. Instead he promised he would not go all the way with his girlfriend, but that he had a date and could he please skip the ballet. Peter seemed placated as he grumbled his agreement but said he would allowed it only if he apologized to Lucy.

As he walked up to the detached garage where Jadis waited he thought of Lucy's dismaying when he talked to her. When she was clearly upset and pleaded with him to go to the ballet instead. He shook his head saying he couldn't break a date with Jadis. She chewed her lip and frowned before hugging him tightly saying, 'Please don't go.' _Did she, could she suspect the true nature of their relationship?_ Next he recalled the strange reaction of Caspian. He didn't say a word, instead his face fell and he gave him one hurt longing look before leaving the room. If he didn't know him better, he would have guessed he had a crush on him. _But that was absurd, Caspian was probably out womanizing right now._

He walked slower dreading this encounter. He had dressed carefully as if he was really going on a date. He wore a dark long sleeved button down shirt to hopefully hide any marks and loose slacks that wouldn't rub on any bruises like jeans would. The cold rain falling around him suited his gloomy mood. The last thing he wanted was find out what Jadis would consider passionate. He hoped all he had to deal with was a regular beating. _He wouldn't be mad about last night would he?  Even so, Winter wouldn't let it be too bad, would he?_

All too soon he opening the door. The blast of heat that hit him made him blink. Then his mouth fell open at the sight of Winter. He was dressed only in a light weight cotton pajama pant and the view of his slim, pale, and strongly muscled chest was stunning. His skin was smooth and pearly white with pale pink nipples that stood out erect. Ed hated himself for the heat that suddenly flowed southward as he gapped.

Winter smirked pushing him against the door as soon as he closed it. He captured his lips and bit down hard enough to draw blood. He then his tongue entered his mouth mixing his sweet breath with the dark iron taste of blood. He pulled away and delicately lapped at the wound with his tongue as he palmed his crotch. "Um... Come on, I know you want to touch me."

He resolutely held his hands at his side until Winter backed away. He relaxed slightly as he was released but almost instantly he was punched with those cruel rings digging into his face. He staggered slightly. "Don't you dare defy me Edmund. I can make you pay with more than just pain."

He blanched, thinking of being raped. He bowed as he apologized, "Sorry master."

"I have just the thing for you. Give me your hands." He put on leather wrist cuffs with complicated buckles and large metal rings spaced around evenly them. "Now strip and get against the wall." Jadis turned away to gather his supplies. Edmund dithered before deciding to do as he was told. Words he'd said many times before echoed in his head, _Coward... You brought this on yourself....You deserve this... You are nothing but a pervert_. Yet, he trembled as never before, because now everything seemed charge with a cruel cold lust. He did not want his first time to be like this, but he had knowingly walked into the lion's den. Another voice in his head that sounded like Jadis said _Caspian would never want used goods like you_. Then he reminded himself that Caspian didn't want him at all. He hung his head as he stood naked in front of the wall.

The industrial music started and it jarred him to his bones. It gave him a dizzy type of headache. He raised his hands to the cold wall bracing himself for the first strike. Instead a soft hand traced over the remaining green and yellow bruises from two days ago. He pressed the sore center of each bruise until he winced.

A voice breathed in his ear, "You see your body is mine and does not forget its master. Give into it Ed. Let go and I will take you flying high." He licked his ear and bit his earlobe. "Give me your hands."

He more felt than heard the click locking of something on each cuff. "Turn around" He slowly did as he was told while glaring at Jadis defiantly. He stumbled at the chain draped across his legs. Each hand was connected to a separate chain attached to a metal ring in the floor. Jadis smiled serenely, "Stand legs apart a little in front of the ring and if you're good I won't make you kneel."

He suddenly was terrified and that brought out his defiance. He couldn't, wouldn't be chained down. "Let me go Jadis. I'm done playing your games." He spat though he knew it was already too late.

Jadis pulled the end of the chain that was laced through a ring in the floor. Edmund went down backwards hitting the wall behind him and sliding to sit on the floor dazed. He struggled up off the wall over the metal ring with his hands behind him spitting profanities. Jadis produced a cloth and tightly gaged him by tying it around head to force his mouth open. His eyes dance with merriment as he yanked up on his hair until he was kneeling straight backed. 

"Oh my sweet little defiant slave. Stay there. I have a beautiful punishment for you." Jadis stepped away to the cabinet and brought out a whip. Ed's eyes widened as he saw the thick leather and then the tufted shiny metal barbs on the end. Jadis swung it around snapping it.

"Kneel up straight or I'll be forced to make it worse." He did as he was told without thinking. Still he was determined he would not give Jadis the satisfaction of breaking him. He was determined to make no noise.

"You should never say no to me. Now I am going to make you pay."

The first lash felt like fire with a bite at the end. He felt blood trickle down from the where the barbed end hit his chest as he stifled his yelp of pain. Jadis came close to inspect the wound, then he bent down, dipping his head to taste the blood. He cooed, "Um... So good, you have no idea how much I've wanted you to bleed for me."

He stepped back to give him a several more lashes. He came close enough to run his left hand along his chest dragging his nails over the tender and bleeding skin as he gave a low moan, "So beautiful and so sexy." He licked the blood off his hand like it was chocolate.

As his arm raise Edmund flinched turning away as the lashing continued. He found himself counting again, but he quickly lost count as the pain was much more intense than usual. Finally his master set aside the whip and pulled off his pajama pants, freeing his already hard member. He step in close to collect more blood with his left hand and put his cock right in front of Ed's face. The he held him up straight by the hair with his right hand and used the bloody left hand to stroke himself. "You see what you do to me. Are you ready stop this? Are you ready to take me in?"

He swallowed back the burning bile that rose up this throat. Ed shook his head in horror at the idea of sucking his own blood off the hard length facing him. Jadis only grinned with his glittering cold eyes as he stepped back bringing the whip up in his right hand. He kept up his stroking rhythmically with the left hand, increasing the speed, as he continued to whip him.

Blow after blow landed on him as he hoped Jadis would cum quickly. It turned out he had a lot of stamina. On the next blow he could not help crying out as his nipple was cut by the barb. That seemed to loosen his resolve because after that he cried and shook as lash after lash landed on his increasingly tender chest and stomach and thighs. He crouched down as the strikes finally became more erratic landing on his hips and then shoulders as he moved lower. He ended up curled over his thighs in an effort to protect his private parts. Finally he stopped and Edmund relaxed slightly, head down thinking it might be over.

Jadis pulled him up by his hair again and came right into his face. He taste the bitter salty cum in his gagged open mouth. When he was released he crumpled folding himself down over his knees, sobbing as he let go of all his remaining strength.

Next thing he knew Winter was fretting over him, "Sweet dear, let me take care of you." He unclipped the chain and half carried him over to the air mattress. He wiped his face with a warm cloth.

Subspace Edmund was pliant and relaxed, knowing that now that Winter took over he would be safe. He greedily drank the water provided and even took the pill for pain offered without comment. The platinum blond laid him out on the bed and tended him as Edmund's awareness faded in and out. He noticed winter naked on all fours over him bending down to lick his wounds. He was vaguely surprised but far too drowsy to care. Instead he thought of his daydream of Caspian the day before and smiled. That was when he felt winter stroking him into full hardness. He then took Edmond into his mouth and sucked. Before he knew it the intense sucking had him ready to cum. Winter lift off him allowing his orgasm to paint his chest and sting the open cuts. The stinging jolted him awake and he paled in humiliation. He tried to move away but Jadis easily pushed him down. He went back to delicately licking the sticky mess of blood and cum on his chest. Ed squirmed in shame, but soon he faded out as sleep overcame him.

He woke much later with Winter cuddled next to him on the bed in the dark. He tried to get up only to find his right hand chained to another ring in the floor. He tried with his left hand to undo the buckle, but it defied him. He shifted to get a better view of the buckle, but when he moved everything hurt and he yelped automatically. Winter woke and chided him. He gave him another pill and tenderly fussing over his wounds for a while. Soon Ed forgot all the pain and slipped into sleep again.

In the morning he woke to Winter shaking him. "Time to go Ed it is 6am. You need to get out before my dad comes looking for me."

He wasn't chained down anymore and Winter was throwing his clothes at him. He didn't say a word, but left as quickly as possible. He was terrified of Jadis calling him back. Blood changed Jadis into something even more gruesome. He was turned on by it and that was something Ed never, ever wanted to see again. As if this hadn't already been too much, he had cum, too. He squirmed in shame as the aches turned into pain on the way home. All together he found himself silently crying on the way home.

He tip toed into the apartment and his room, locking the door. He had to keep everyone away until he healed up some. He had seen several text messages from Peter. He was livid again and just after their talk. How could he ever make up for this? If he could make out he was drunk... and his friends wouldn't let him leave... maybe it would work. As he changed for bed he was appalled to see his bare chest covered in blood stained skin, purple bruising, and dark red newly formed scabs.  His skin was so sore that he dressed in only loose pajama pants slung low on his hips. He shifted around in bed, just trying for the least amount of pain, but it didn't work. He bitterly wished he had gone to the ballet. He wished he was eighteen and could just run away. He wished Jadis had never claimed him. But now he was trapped, chained down, owned, enslaved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back soon with the next chapter.  
> Anne


	17. Obligation and Imprudence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian frets over Edmund's injuries.)

Caspian was up all night checking for Edmund’s return. He dreaded how badly hurt he would be and as the hours tick by fear crept up on him. He had been disappointed and exasperated, but now he was only relieved to hear him return. 

He waited until the rustling had stopped in his room before trying the door. It was locked so he softly knocked on his door. “Edmund, it’s me, Caspian. Please let me in.”

“Go away, I don’t want to see anyone.”

“Nice try, but I’m not leaving. I won’t tell anyone, just let me in.” He pause but after a few silent moments he bluffed, “Please don’t make me get Peter, but I will if it is the only way to see you.”

The door unlocked and Ed opened it a crack letting only a sliver of his face show and he noticed he hid the rest of his body behind the door. _How bad was it this time?_ he wondered. “I just got a little drunk and my friends wouldn’t let me leave until I was sober. Go back to bed Caspian.”

“I’m not buying it. Let me in to see the damage.” He stared coldly at him as if to say no way I’m letting you in. “Edmund I’ve been waiting up for you all night,” His voice cracked a little as he allowed his usual poker face to softened.

The teen huffed as he shut the door. Caspian stood still, pensive and afraid he would be turned away. Then he heard the lock turn and the door eased open. The room was dark accept for a vein of light from between the curtains. All was still and empty. Then he saw a motion in the darkest corner.

“Ed please let me treat your wounds. I’m turning on the light.” He turned around facing the door.

“NO! Don’t….”

He stood still and let his forehead fall forward onto the door thinking hard. He could not force himself on him, he thought as he raised his head to run his hand through his hair. Ed had to come to him. He had to want help.

The older man didn’t turn around as he spoke, “I’ve been imagining all types of injuries. I don’t think you could shock me with anything he might have done to you.”

He clearly heard the tremble in Ed’s voice, “Why would you care about a loser pervert like me?”

“Why wouldn’t I care? You are daring, clever, and tenacious with a sharp wit. You’ve broken down all my defenses and changed my life.” He paused to gulp back his emotions, “You showed me how shallow my attempt at friendship was for someone worthy of having as a friend.” He let out a long slow sigh, “I won’t force myself on you. Calling on Peter was an empty threat. If you say the word… I’ll… I’ll go.” He stayed still looking at the crack of light at the seam of the door as the silence stretched on and his eyes adjusted to the low light.

He finally heard a rustling, “Alright” He looked around to behold the shadowy figure of Edmund with his low slung pajama pants and the crisscrossing trails of abrasions and welts covering his naked chest just visible in the dim light. He had to fight down the urge to hug him or to yell at him or to find Jadis and beat him into oblivion. Instead he said, “I can help ease the pain. What other injuries do you have?”

“Some more on my shoulders, hips, and thighs.”

“What about internal injuries, hemorrhaging?” He asked anxiously.

“What?”

“Did he penetrate you? If so, did you bleed?” He explained.

“NO, no, just no.” He said in a final way that gave him the sense he wasn’t just lying about it. That relaxed him a little, until the thought of what could have happened without his knowledge crept into his mind.

“Did you black out, or lose consciousness?”

“No, but I did sleep after he gave me something for pain.”

“Did you feel any difference in your injuries after that?”

“No I was just stiff”

“What was the pill?”

“I don’t know, but it put me right to sleep.”

“Do you still feel any effects of it?” He took his pen light out of his bag and checked his eyes for reactions to the light. All looked well.

“I don’t think so. It must have been short acting since I started really hurting on the way back.”

“Hum, I’d better not give you anything else for pain now, just in case. Undress and put a towel over yourself. Sit or lay on the bed, whatever is more comfortable.” He walked into the bathroom shutting the door. His face fell as he thought of the painful whip marks on his beautiful skin. He grimaced and growled out a silent diatribe of curses as he opened his small old fashioned doctor’s bag and set to work. He gathering his supplies and warm water to wash the wounds.

He called out to see if Ed was ready and asked if he could turn on the lights. He entered to see him laid out on the bed tensed up with an arm draped over his eyes. Now that he got a closer look he noticed the inflamed edge around the broken skin. “It looks infected already. Did he put anything on the wounds?” he asked aghast.

“Well…” He paused, “He may have licked them.”

Caspian felt himself go pale at the thought and it was all he could do not to react. “I have to get this clean and I’m sorry but it will sting.”

“It’s alright, I’ve had worse.”

He grimaced as he gently worked around each abrasion. Edmund hissed softly every so often, but seemed to loosen up. Slowly he became more relaxed and appeared to be sleeping. As difficult as it was see the wounds, it was pleasant to have a reason to touch him. He glance up to see Edmund with a faint pink flush to his cheeks and his arm held over his eyes. He tenderly cleaned his chest while his heart beat skittered.

As he worked at his hip he felt him shiver. “Sorry, it must be painful.”

“It’s fine.” He replied clearly and instantly. He realized what he had taken for sleep was in fact Edmund trusting his touch and relaxing around him. He ignored the thrill he sent through him. “Do you have any abrasions in the groin area?”

“Thankfully no.” He stated. He glance back as he moved to his upper thigh and noticed the outline of his member slightly inflated under the towel. He flushed thinking of what is cock must look like. He would have expected the thought of another man’s penis to be unpleasant, but he was excited, eager even to see _his_ cock tall, erect and leaking pre-cum. Still he keep his hands steadily while he finished up, glad Edmund wasn’t looking at him and forcefully pushed those thoughts away.

“Edmund, can you lay on your stomach?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He winced slightly as he moved. Caspian held up the towel away from him to give him privacy while he turned over. He lay with his face sideways and arms down. He looked up at him with one eye that seemed to go a little wide, most likely he caught his blush. Ed looked down right away and grimaced. “Why’d you wait up for me? I was sure you would have better things to do on a Saturday night.”

He chuckled without mirth, “Hardly. Recently I realized I was looking for comfort in the wrong place.” Caspian rested his left hand on his arm while cleaning the few remaining wounds with the right.  He gave his arm a slight affectionate squeeze, before he noticed what he was doing and stopped.

Flatly Ed stated, “Oh, you found a girl.”

“No, I… Um, no.” He didn’t know what he should say. He wanted Ed to know he was available, but he reminded himself Ed was in love with that sadistic bastard. “I need to work on myself before I’m ready for anyone else.”

“I plan always to be alone.” The teen commented morosely. The bitterness of his tone caught him off guard.

“What do you mean by that?” Caspian asked much sharper than he intended. He went on softer, “But I thought…”

“What? That I was with him! No, never!” He said with sharp vehement.

“So why are you letting him do this to you?”

“I told you before, I’m trapped.” And he looked down.

“No! Edmund, he has no right to abuse you like this. Don’t think that just because you let him once, that he can do it all the time.” He leaned in close and his hold on Ed’s arm tightened. The teen turned up onto his side.

“Don’t pretend you care out of guilt or misplace chivalry.” He spat.

The older man scoffed moving so his face was inches away from his and retorted angrily, “Listen here, how can…” His voice died as he looked into his deep burning brown eyes and saw abject fear. _How could this be?_ His heart contracted painfully.

He softly asked, “You go to him willingly, yet you’re terrified of me?” His voice squeaked. Edmund lowered his eyes immediately and the most beautiful blush came over his cheeks as his long lashes fluttered. Caspian had never thought much of women who blushed coyly to flirt with him. It always seemed so calculated and forced. But this blush on Edmund made him feel all soft and gooey inside. His only clear thought was _my dear beautiful Edmund._ He lifted his hand without conscience consideration and cupped his cheek gently.

“Why Edmund? You’re my best friend and I would never hurt you.” He was almost sure the teen had leaned into his hand, but now he was still as stone.

Then he felt what seemed like a tremble before Ed jerked himself away from his hand. He flipped back onto his stomach and faced away from him. Caspian mentally shook himself, thinking he had gone too far.

He silently went back to cleaning the few remaining wounds. He felt the tension growing in the teen under him. He was expecting it when several minutes later the silence was broken by Edmund.  

“May if I ran away…” He let the statement hang, but the tutor thought, well hoped, he was thinking about getting away from that bastard Jadis. _How much pride had it cost him to ask this half question?_

“I would lie for you and defend you. Even so I would want to stay your friend. I know what it is to be utterly alone. I wouldn’t want it to turn you cold… like I did.” Ed’s tension slightly eased.

After a while the older man added, “But you needn’t go that far if all you really want is away from school and him. I think I can convince Peter to let me home school you for the rest of the year. It is mostly AP courses that I would tutor you in regardless. And if needed be I can easily defend you from any, er, attacks.”

“I can be out of school, just like that?”

“Yes, it is easily arranged even in the middle of the year like this. All I need is evidence.” The teen tensed again under his hands, “Don’t worry. I mean with your history and given Peter’s possessiveness, I think I could get you out without you having implicating anyone.”

He seemed to sag in relief, but added in a horse flat tone, “He’ll know and he’ll try and get me back. He told me he won’t let me go.”

“I can protect you.”

“Don’t underestimate him.”

“Still, I’m more concerned you would let him in. You walked right into his house and let him do this to you.”

“Yes, well… I had to.”

He huffed out an exasperated sigh, but said nothing as he finished on his back. “Sit up so I can see your face,” He ordered as he brought over the hard backed desk chair and sat facing him.

He held his chin as he looked at the bruise and abrasion on his cheek, and the bitten lip. He put ointment on the lip and checked the inside of the cheek for bleeding. Then he cleaned the abrasion. Carefully he raise his gaze to his eyes as he finished. He kept a hold on his chin while laying his other hand on his shoulder as his intense glower burned into the boy. Immediately Ed started to struggle from his grip as he fixed him with a defiant glare. Internally he said, ‘ _good that is more like you’._ At the same time he felt something like the swoop of missing a step in his stomach. Instead of sinking as he expected, he felt oddly light.

He re-focused forcefully on what he needed to say, “If you are serious about getting rid of him, I can help. If I do, you can’t let him in or go to him. Please promise me you’ll stay away from him.”

He hissed, “Yessss.” Caspian kept his hold on him and his eyes level with his through several thundering heartbeats as the lightness in his stomach increased. “Yes, damn it. _If_ I ask for your help, I will stay the fuck away from him.” And he added sarcastically, “Happy now.”

He could not help the smiled that crept onto his face, “Very.” Then is struck him suddenly. He understood it all the blushing, the fear, the giddy feeling in his stomach. He let go of his detachment, he let of his apprehension, he let go of his dread, and he let go of his shame.

Deftly he arched the hand on his shoulder gently up his neck and laced it into his hair. The hand on his chin reached over to gently stroke his cheek. Edmund froze, eyes wide in shock.

Caspian leaned forward to put his lips a hairs breath away from Edmund's mouth. He let his eyes show his sincerity and in a husky whisper he said, “May I?”

His heart thundered with delighted excitement as he waited and watched the diverse range of emotions dancing through the teen’s large achingly beautiful eyes. Edmund lurched forward to press himself urgently against his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now finally they kiss. I'm so glad you have stayed with me this far. What well be the fall out from this? I'm not anywhere nearly the finish, so no easy outs for these two I'm afraid. Still I think they will prevail in the end. Let me know your thoughts. See you next week with a new chapter.   
> Thank you,  
> Anne


	18. Hesitant Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund makes a decision.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait. I have been working ahead and was stuck on some plot details.

Edmund was shocked that Caspian, _his CASPIAN_ , wanted to kiss him. He mentally denied it, doubted it, feared it, raged over it, welcomed it, and finally needed it. Edmund lurched forward to kiss him as he wrapped his arms around his chest. The kiss was awkward and clumsy, but the tutor pulled him tight with a sure grip. Caspian took over the kiss and turned his harsh pressure into a tugging playful thing of beauty, that ended all too soon with both of them gasping for breath.

Caspian panted out “ _Edmund_ ” in a low breathy voice as his fingers traced his uninjured cheek. The teen looked into his eyes that had turned into glowing dark amber orbs.

“How? How could this be?” He asked, almost to himself.

“I’ve been a fool,” Caspian said while still running light fingers over his face. “How could I have been so blind to you?”

He wanted to ask more but he really wanted to kiss him again. He leaned into his mouth and ran his tongue along the seam. Caspian opened and fell back to let him plunder his mouth. He feverishly, urgently explored until the tutor pulled back with a warm happy laugh.

“You can slow down. I’m not about to go anywhere.” And again he let Caspian take control with a slow passionate burning kiss that made him feel like he was on fire.

A long few minutes later Ed broke away to say, “I want you closer. Come lay down with me.”

“Ed, we can’t. I just don’t want to…”

It stung to be shot down, so he cut him off, “I knew it was too good to be true. I don’t need your pity.” His heart turned to lead and his semi hard member flattened like a popped balloon.

Caspian sputtered, “Would you listen. I just don’t want to go too fast.”

He only heard him faintly from behind a wall of his own self-loading as he pulled himself back into the bed and pulled up the covers. He turned to the wall, “So you thought you’d cheer up the injured fagot with a pity kiss. Job done. Go away Caspian.” To his embarrassment his voice turned high at the end. He squeezed his eyes shut and took shallow breaths to keep from crying as he waited anxiously to hear the door shut.

Instead he felt the covers shift. Evasively he scooted farther against the wall covering his face with his hands. In a high pitched voice he cried, “Leave me alone.”

The bed dipped as what could only be Caspian laid down. He slowly came close and spooned up to his back. He raised his lips to the back of his neck and kissed him tenderly.  Then he whispered, “Edmund you stubborn ass. I was only concerned about your virtue.” He ran the tip of his tongue along his neck and it sent chills down his spin. “Because, the house will be waking up soon. Still, if this is the only way to convince you, I’ll do it.” He shivered at the hot breath over his wet skin.

Caspian sighed softly and lay his cheek on his upper back. He felt hot and his skin tingled where his soft beard and heated breath tickled his upper back. His forearm and hand rested lightly over his side. Edmund pause and savored the feel of Caspian next to him. Yet he was still and watchful. _It couldn_ _’t be true, could it?_ Soon the older man yawned and then he felt softly huffed breaths against his neck. _Caspian was asleep in his bed spoon up to him!_ He finally relaxed and slowly unwound. Still he felt utterly shocked that the handsome tutor was cuddled up to him. His wounds felt better and he felt safe in a way he hadn’t in the longest time. Soon he too was asleep.

~***~

Edmund woke later that morning facing Caspian curled into his chest. He felt the hard muscle of broad chest through his thin tee shirt. The older man’s hands were wrapped around his back and he sighed happily.

This perfect moment was abruptly ended when Peter pounded insistently on his door, “Edmund, you are in so much trouble. Get out here now.”

He exchange a panicked look with the surprised tutor before yelling. “No way I’m coming out, Peter. If you want to punish me your yelling is doing the job for you. I have a wicked hangover.” He gave a low moan.

“God damn it Ed! What were you doing out drinking?”

“I’m sorry, can…can we just finish this later I think I need to hurl.” He jumped up, ran to the bathroom and made retching noises into the toilet as he moaned loudly. Peter threatened him with dire consequence before he stomped away in a huff.

Ed came back to bed wearing his low slung pajama pants smiling and whispered, “That should hold him for a while. Where were we?” He climbed into bed and curled onto Caspian chest as warm tanned arms enveloped him. They spent the next half hour getting to know each other by very quietly kissing.

Next Lucy knocked and softly said, “Edmund, I brought you something to eat.”

He and Caspian looked at each other in silent panic. “I don’t want anything,” he called.

“Please Ed, Peter’s gone.” She drummed her fingers on the door as she waited. A few drums later she added, “I know who you were with and I need to know you are alright. Please… Just let me see you.”

The tutor got up and quietly shut himself in the bathroom. Edmund rose and pulled up the bed clothes to cover the dried blood spots speckling the sheet. Then he put on his robe and folded it tightly up to his throat before he opened the door.

She stepped in holding a tray and looked him over morosely, frowning at the cuts and bruising on his cheek. “Oh, Ed how bad did he hurt you?”

“Lu what are you talking about? I got in a fight after drinking too much.”

She tusked, “Don’t bother lying to me Ed. I know Jadis did this to you. I only wonder why you are still dating him.”

Edmund gapped at her. She glared and tapped her foot. “Alright he got mad at some smart ass remark I made while I was drunk and hit me, but that was all.”

“Really, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” She stared intently at him holding his gaze challenging him. Then his stomach growled loudly and she giggled.

“Thanks for the food by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” and she put the tray on the nightstand. “But don’t avoid my questions. Are you going to break it off with him?” When he didn’t answer she pursed her lips and dropped her eyes sadly.

He huffed and honestly said, “I’m…I’m working on it.”

She slyly looked at him, “Alright, just get rid of him.” And she head toward the door much faster than he had expected. Turning at the door she added, “By the way Peter went to the late service at church and Susan is out shopping. I have a project so I will be all the way in the library. You will have the rest of the apartment to yourself for a couple of hours.” She closed it with a wink.

He stood still heart thumping in panic.  Soon Caspian came out of the bath smiling. Edmund stood still, mouth gaping at the door.

“She knows,” He said in a flat tone. “She knows you are here.”

“What? How?” He simply pointed at his bag on the floor near the night stand. “That doesn’t mean…”

“She just knows. She probably knew before we did. I’ve no idea how that could be, but I’m sure of it.” Edmund flopped down on the bed and took the warming cover off his food.

Caspian carded his hair in distress, “Shit Peter will kill me if he finds out. Now I’m making an enemy of her too.”

Her brother busied himself with the breakfast tray as he replied, “I wouldn’t worry too much. You heard she wants me away from Jadis. Thank goodness I was able to make out it was just the punch. Besides she adores star crossed love stories. We have bacon and eggs with toast. Shall I split it up?” He looked up expectantly.

The older man sagged where he stood, “Edmund, maybe I should leave right now while the way is clear.”

The teen jumped up and put a hand on his shoulder, “No, please stay.” He turned to face him before smiling sweetly and pushing up a little on his toes slightly to capture his lips. Caspian kept his eyes down, but leaned into the kiss. Ed put his hand on either side of his cheeks slightly stroking his sideburns and beard as the kiss began to slowly simmering. Tan hands found their way to lightly rest on his hips. He drew his hand downward tracing his neck, collar bone and then sternum. He flared his hand out to hover over his nipples and trace the line of his pectorals. The nipples under his tee started to harden at the light teasing.

At that Caspian ran his tongue along the teen’s lips and began a heated kiss as he pulled Ed’s hips tight against his body. The other gave a breathy soft moan. Ed walked one hand down his side to pull up the corner of his thin shirt to walk his fingers up the older man’s stomach and then chest. He delighted in the soft trail of hair leading up before settling his finger tips on the now erect nipple. He rolled it gently under his fingers, while he started to rock his hips into Caspian’s, thrilling has he felt his hardness. He felt giddy and light headed as he pulled away from the kiss to taste the skin on his neck.

The tutor groaned softly as his neckline and collar bone were nibbled. Gasping slightly he said, “No, we shouldn’t. You are still a minor and…”

Ed spoke to his collarbone causing a shiver to run through the wet skin, “I’m old enough to consent and, Caspian, I really want this.”

He keened quietly as Ed bit his collarbone lightly right above where his chest hair started.  “Yes, but I’m six years older and your teacher. It isn’t right.”

He looked up, “Don’t…don’t you want me? I-I’ll do whatever you want, Please.” He clutched him tightly. At that Caspian gently pushed him away.

“I can’t, I won’t.” His glowing dark amber eyes looked fearful. Now that Ed had him he wasn’t about to let Caspian go now. He felt a crazy urgency as if this would be his only chance. He tried to pull close again, but was firmly pushed away. Ed stood back panting. He wilted, but was loath for Caspian to leave.  

“At least have some breakfast before you leave.” He urged. He stepped back and sat down trying to still his heart.  He gesturing to the empty chair on the other side of the tray. The older man dithered, but eventually sat down as Edmund returned to splitting the food up, using the plate cover as the extra plate. As they silently shared the food he watched every move the tutor made and they all seemed so erotic.

“Did you mean what you said?” Caspian asked suddenly.

“Yes,” Ed blurted out. Then he thought the tutor probably didn’t mean sex. “Wait, what?”

“Are you ready to rid yourself of Jadis?” He asked with an expectant tone.

“Oh,” He blushed what at his own thoughts had been and paused considering his answer. “Right, yes… It is just… just I don’t see a way out.”

“I told you I can get you out of school. Thank goodness you are on Thanksgiving break already. I just need to work it with Peter and you won’t have to go back.”

“He will come looking for me. He won’t make it easy.”

“A restraining order would help, but I assume you don’t want to press charges against him?” He shook his head. “Then I’ll just have to become your body guard. Thank goodness you have a security system here.” Ed frowned thinking it would take more than that, but said nothing. “You aren’t thinking of letting him in are you?”

“No, I won’t… but he is cunning and ruthless. I still think you underestimate him.”

Caspian laughed, “Don’t worry, I got this.”

Edmund desperately wanted to believe him, but it was too much to hope Jadis would let it be. His life would never be that easy. Now he began to fear for Caspian.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with the story. I will not let it be so long before the next post.  
> Anne


	19. Tender Accord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund enjoys being with Caspian.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Smut Warning ** skip the ending if you don't like to read smut.

After breakfast Caspian coerced Edmund into going out to get some coffee with him. Ed was surprised to see he had a bare bones jeep that was in stark contrasted to his suave persona. The tutor explained he wanted something sturdy and inexpensive that would last through medical school.  

They picked up coffee to go. Caspian had something important he wanted to show him. He took him to the nearby arboretum that housed a bird sanctuary on a marshy edge to Lake Washington. They pulled into a little used dirt road away from the main park. Slowly they looped around a circuitous dirt access road that was little more than a set of parallel ruts. At the end was an equipment shed where they parked.

They walked down a narrow foot path between tall marshy reeds as the city noises dissipated. It was quiet with an occasional smattering of bird song. The tall reeds broke open to revel a small slice of rocky shoreline down a short slope. It was hard to believe that in a big city like Seattle that a spot this secluded was possible. It seemed the clumps of reedy marsh dotting this part of the coast isolated it. Ed liked its unkempt wildness immediately.

“I found this place back when I was a freshman and often came here to relax and be alone. You are the first person I’ve ever brought with me.” He looked over and smiled at him as he gesturing to a log large enough to sit side by side. Edmund was floored, _I_ _’m the first person he ever shared this with?_ He felt a fluttery warmth as he sat down and Caspian joined him sitting pressed up against his side.

“I know it seems barren now, but it is still beautiful to me. Spring is fantastic.”

“I don’t think so, I mean I don’t think it is barren. Just wild and free.” Edmund grinned back at him.

Caspian put his hand softly on his thigh. “I brought you here because we need to talk about us.” Ed’s heart rate sped up but he wasn’t sure if it was panic at what he might say or thrill at his proximity.

Caspian turned and put his hand on his opposite shoulder thereby turning him so they faced each other. “What do you want from us?”

He felt blindsided by his question and stuttered out, “I-I just want to be what you want.”

The older man tutted, “Ed, don’t say that. I was serious. I want you, the real you, not a fucking yes man.”

His vehement surprised him and Ed cringed, “I’m… I don’t even know how to be myself anymore. Still...” The teen boldly ran his hand under Caspian’s leather jacket and pulled him by closer his waist as he whispered huskily in his ear. “I want you Caspian, even if it’s only for a short time.” Caspian twisted away from him and grasped the wrist that had been at his waist.

He held it in front of him and crossly spit out, “Edmund, I’m not expecting anything physical.”

“Y-you d-don’t really want me?” He quavered trying not to let the tears in his eyes spill over. _Why not! You said as much with your kisses._

The older man’s forehead crinkled and his look softened. He pulled Ed closer by his wrist before gently kissing him. “Oh Edmund, it isn’t that. It took me a long time to see it, but I promise you that I am here for the long term. Like I said I want the real you. Don’t think you have to offer me your body. I know I have been promiscuous in the past, but I’m done with that.”

“You want me?…You mean it?”

He flashed his golden smile that radiated from the amber glow in his eyes. The teen felt a warm dizziness as Caspian gentle pressed kisses over his cheeks and neck. He could hardly believe this was really happening. They stayed kissing and talking until the cold wind finally urged them to leave. As they walked back down the path Caspian extracted a promise from him to meet here after his last class on Tuesday.

~*~*~*~

They held hands while they rode the elevator up to the apartment. Ed let go of Caspian’s hand and practically bounded out the elevator. He stopped as soon as he realized Caspian wasn’t behind him and at almost the same time Peter yelled from the open office door.

“Ed is that you? Get in here now!”

He glanced over his shoulder at Caspian as the doors closed. He had one finger over his lips urging him not to speak. He turned to answer Peter’s wrath.

“Edmund, first you were out all night. Then you were drinking.  Now I see you were fighting. And on top of that you are smiling like an idiot in love. How far have you gone with that girl of yours?”

Ed blanched wondering how doe eyed he looked. He steeled himself and drew fourth his typical righteous indignation. “Peter I’m not a child and I don’t have to answer that question.”

“You don’t seem to understand. You are still underage.”  Peter matched his mood perfectly.

“For just four more months.”

“That makes all the difference in the world. There is no such thing as close enough. What if you were arrested? What if you had a car accident?”

“That is why I was out all night. My friends _wouldn_ _’t let me drive_ until I sobered up.”

“Still, I just can’t risk it. You have too much history. You don’t seem to care that if you mess up they will take you away.” He shook his head regretfully, “It is my responsibility to keep you safe. So I say you are not allowed out of the apartment without one of your siblings until school starts back.”

“You can’t do that Peter. It is not fare.” Ed complained.

“Is it fair that I’m your guardian? Is it fair that I could lose you? It is fair they are gone? Life just isn’t fair. Get over it.” Peter scowled but seemed distracted as he looked at the open office door. “What are you doing here?”

Caspian leaned on the door frame, “Actually, I agree with you Peter, but I’d carry it a bit further.”

“Caspian get out this is just family.” Peter spat.

“No can do Peter, at least not until you’ve heard me out. Edmund gets in no end of trouble at school. Why not just take him out? Let me tutor him the rest of the year. That way we can focus on AP college credits exclusively.”

Edmund’s jaw dropped, “What the hell Caspian? I am not a child!” He stared in bitter silence as they began to discuss the tutor’s proposal. He became more agitated the longer they spoke about him as if he was ten and he wasn’t standing right there. He was incredulous as he listened to this pod person that looked like Caspian go on about how immature he was. _This was not the Caspian he spent that morning kissing!_ How could he change like that in a flash? He wanted to shout as Peter’s diatribe over his faults flowed freely, but just having the tutor betray him left him feeling lost. Instead he simply stormed out of the office slamming the door as he heard a loud expletive from Peter ordering him back. Caspian spoke in hushed tones apparently calming him because he never came looking for him. Once alone in his room be berated himself for falling for the fickle tutor as his own hope that it had been real died. _Why would he do this to me?_

~*~*~*~

It was all he could do to keep a cool distance facade at dinner while inside he was a hurricane of emotions that left him feeling paralyzed. Peter explained his punishment and it was just like when he was eight and had ruined his mother’s favorite rose bush. Well, worse actually. His father make him sound more mature than Peter did. Dad had been wonderful that way, he saw the best in everyone just like Lucy. He refocus on his outrage to prevent tears at the thought of his father’s kindness. He alternated glares at Peter and Caspian while Lucy looked confused and commiserating. Neither Peter, nor Caspian showed any remorse. Finally he spun up in rage and left with an angry outburst. 

He waited anxiously in his room all evening unable to settle on any activity as his own personal storm system continued unabated. Finally all he knew was the he was determined to confront Caspian once everyone was asleep. About eleven he carefully crept down the back hallway, across the kitchen and into Caspian’s narrow hall. He knocked very softly and Caspian opened the door immediately.

“Ed, were you careful?” He softly asked and kissed him lightly on the lips. It was just like the meeting with Peter had never happened.

He burst in and started pacing, “How could you do that to me?” he spat without preamble.

Caspian looked taken aback and casually answered, “You know why.”

“No, I don’t know why you threw me under the bus and acted like I was two.”

All too collected he replied, “I had to reflect Peter’s attitude in order to convince him.” At this he smirked. “I think I’ve gotten you out of school for the rest of the year.”

“So you and Peter can hold me prisoner instead?” He sneered.

“You didn’t think I actually believed any of that bullshit, did you? I was just playing a part for Peter, but I promise that I’ll always be honest with you.” He wrapped his arms around the teen’s waist and pulled him closer.  Edmund struggled against his hold, but he ignored this only holding tighter. “I would never have kissed you if I, in any way, thought of you as a child. But, I couldn’t risk not convincing him. Jadis is too dangerous.” He nuzzled his ear as he whispered, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I should have warned you, but the opportunity was too perfect. Forgive me?”

He paused but still fought the hug. In his rage at being treated as a child he had forgotten about Jadis. He relaxed and responded to Caspian’s hug, holding the man around his neck and pulling him down for a heated kiss. Before pulling away.

“I take it that was a yes.” After a few more minutes Caspian pulled away. “I need finish studying and get some sleep or I’ll be completely worthless tomorrow.”  Ed initially rebelled at the idea, but saw the books scattered all over his coffee table. At that he chided himself for keeping him away from his studies most of the day and left without a complaint. 

~*~*~*~

The next day at dinner he took up is his part in the charade by being the immature self-centered teen. He complained loudly that he needed Peter to let him meet up with friends that night. He gave Caspian dirty looks and Peter stoutly refused.  He pouted when denied and eventually stomped away from dinner. He turned to smirk at Caspian just outside the doorway out of Peter’s view.

Much later he went to the kitchen to get some more food, leaving tell tail signs that he had been there. Then he crept to Caspian’s room. He had kept his distance all day, but now he wanted the older man all to himself.

They snuggled together on his couch while listening to soft classical music. Edmund immersed himself in the man, breathing in his soap and musky scent, rubbing his cheek against the others soft beard, studying his long lashes and glittering brown eyes, and tasting the salty skin of his neck.

He slowly began to let his hands wander his ribs and back. “Can you take off your shirt?” When the tutor hesitated he said, “You’ve already seen my chest. This is just pay back.”

Caspian gave a crafty smile like a fox as he stripped off his shirt to reveal the glory that was his muscled chest. Edmund didn’t hesitate, placing his hand on either side of his stomach and running them up his ribs and pectorals before bringing them down along the middle of his chest brushing through the dusting of dark hair. His mouth returned to his neck and worked a nibbled path down just beside the trail of his chest hair keeping his noise in the hair just to breathe his scent. At his pectorals he slid over to a nipple and licked. He tried to be gentle like a woman, but was finding it hard to not bite.

The older man pulled him up smiling, “Edmund, I won’t break. You needn’t be so gentle.”

He looked into the glowing orbs and nodded. Then he pushed him back so he could nibble and bite his chest just like he really wanted. He worked his way down to undo his pants, when Caspian caught his hands.

“Caspian, please, please. I can’t stand it.”

“You know the score Ed.”

“No I don’t. You want the real me. Well the real me has been dying for you since you moved in.”

“You have no idea how much you tempt me Edmund.” He said shaking his head. The teens blush fled to the tip of his ears and down his chest at his deep throaty tone. That made Caspian frown. “But, we have time, all the time in the world.”

“Caspian, I’ve thought long and hard about what I want. I’m not just horny. How do you know you really want me? You’ve always been straight.”

“Trust me I do, but that is no reason to rush into this.” He let his hand travel down Ed’s side and lightly gripped the curve of his ass.

He leaned into kiss him but the teen stopped him. “I’m not convinced. It is bound to be an adjustment, being with a man. I won’t blame you, but I can’t help but feel you aren’t ready for what this means. And if that happens…”

“Edmund, I wouldn’t do that.” Caspian’s eyes glowered with something bordering on anger.

“How do you know what would happen? What if you take one look at my dick and can’t bring yourself to touch it. I would just…” He gulped and looked away from the man as the rest of the sentence circled his brain shutting down all hope.

The older man clung to him tighter, as if he could protect him. “Tell me. Tell me what is going on with you. That is the only way I can help.”

Ed sheepishly looked back at him, desperation etched in his chocolate eyes. “I have high hopes, but …. Now I’m not saying this to blackmail you, but if you can’t follow through it will crush me and I would...” He couldn’t say it but he knew if he lost hope he would run straight to Jadis.

Caspian gripped him tighter and urgently kissed him, “I would never let that happen.” Maybe, just maybe, he had understood what Ed left unsaid.

Suddenly he rose up off the couch and slowly led Edmund by the hand toward the bedroom. He stood facing the stunned teen at the edge of the bed. He lifted off his sleep tee and leaned forward. Eagerly Caspian nibbled his neck and laced a path down the alabaster skin of his chest avoiding the welts and scabs to taste a nipple. Edmund felt a flame light everywhere that talented tongue went as he let out a low moan.

The tutor sat back onto the bed pulling him close as he worked his way down. Ed was embarrassed at his skinny hairless chest, but slowly had to admit he was enjoying the attention. Caspian then hooked his fingers under the teen’s waistband. He looked up questioningly.

“Fuck yes,” Edmund growled as he laced his hands in his hair. His doubts fading. Caspian pull his pant and briefs down as his erection sprung free. He was leaned very close to push the pants all the way down. Instead of pulling away he licked a drop of pre-cum from his head. He place his right hand tightly over his length and gentle pumped his dry thick length as he sucked and teased his head.

Caspian stopped and it became obvious this was not the end. He turned to pull open the covers and slid his sleep pants off. He caught a hint of erect cock before he covered himself. He then took Ed’s hand and pulled him down beside him.

Ed raced to follow wanting to touch Caspian everywhere. The man laced one arm under his head and the other around his back. Then he pulled him up tight against his chest, side by side. The hard planes of his muscles felt so, right to the teen as he latched onto the hot pulse point of his neck, sucked lightly. Caspian shivered and it gave him confidence. He flexed his hips and brought their cocks together.

He let out a sighing moan, “Oh God Caspian, I want you inside of me. I want to fuck.”

Caspian frowned but his cock twitched. He sighed reluctantly, “We can do this under two conditions. One: promise you’ll stop me if you change your mind. It doesn’t matter even if I’m about to cum. If you say red light, I stop. Alright?”

Edmund nodded as he wondered why he might want to stop. Caspian shook him gently. “This is important Ed, tell me your safe word.”

“You mean Red light?” He answered while his heart thundered thinking of what they were about to do.

“Yes and second,” As he spoke he laced his leg over Edmund’s outer leg and rolled him over. This put Edmund on top of him. “You will be the one in the lead.”

“But, I don’t…” He started to say as he was made forcefully aware of being balanced on the broad chest of a very naked and aroused Caspian.

“You are the expert in what feels right to you. I want this to be about you. If you are unsure you can ask me anything. I know how to do this right.”

Edmund put down his arms on either side of his head and propped up on his elbows to leave his hands free. He let his fingers brush across the smooth skin of his upper cheek and settled his fingers in his hair. He kissed him deeply until he couldn’t hold his breath any longer.

Next he sat up over his upper thighs and ran his hands down his broad chest.  He settled his stare on his long slim uncircumcised cock. It was breathtaking and erotic with its long length, slightly slimmer width than his own, and gentle bent to the right. He finally looked up to see Caspian frowning at his thin scab covered chest. He lower himself to cover the marks.

He stayed a hair’s breath away from his lips and said, “I want your hands all over me.”  At the same time he spread his legs to put his knees down outside of Caspian’s legs to give him leverage. Ed rocked his hips to grind into the other’s hard length and he moaned softly.

Caspian’s long fingered hands starting working their way delicately down his spine as Ed captured his lips. His fingers flowed down the teen and slowed at the curve of his ass. He splayed his fingers to cup his ass. It was round and perfect, but shaped differently than a woman’s. He then brought his hand down to trace the seam to his upper thigh. His fingers continued down along the side of his spread leg. He curved his hand toward the inner thigh and lightly dance along the tender skin moving down and then up until neared his perineum. He carefully traced up his crack with the tip of his fingers. Ed shivered as his asshole was brushed.

Caspian worked his fingers all the way to his waist before returning the way they came this time letting all the fingers of one hand circle his crack one at a time. His opening convulsed and Ed moaned at the twin pleasure of his hand and his hard cock pressing into his own as he rubbed against him. Caspian worked his way back and forth until Ed was on fire.

“God, I want you Caspian. I want you inside me.”

He moaned back, “Yeah me too, babe.”

Caspian tangled their legs and held his back while he flipped him over again. “I know how to do this safely, but you have to let me prepare you.” He hurried away as Ed watched, breathing heavily. 

He returned holding a towel with some items on top of it, “This is easiest if you roll over and I take you from behind.”

Ed felt himself shutter at the thought, “No, I can’t….” he gasped. _It was the way he had been force by Jadis._ Caspian jumped back, dropped what he was holding, and raised his hands in surrender. He paled wondering what he had done.

“Edmund, have you done this before? If you aren’t ready, I can wait.” He stooped to pick-up his supplies.

Ed slowly returned to steady breathing and shook his head, “No, I mean I haven’t done it before, but I still want you. I just… I have to face you. I can’t do from behind. I have to be able to see it is you.” 

Caspian studied his eyes carefully before he agreed, “Only if you are sure.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Of course,” He cupped his cheek and gave him a gentle chaste kiss. “You can always red light me if you need more space.” Ed pull him closer and forcefully pulled his lips and tongue as he depended he kiss.

“Can I?” Caspian asked as his fingers played with the hollow near his hip bone then slowly followed the crease toward his crotch. Ed nodded and he brought his hand to gently trace the contours of his thick member. Then he spread the pre-cum on the tip with his thumb. He paused to gather some lube before he fisted Ed’s length. He started a slow steady stroke that drove the teen mad. He dribbled more pre-cum onto his stomach and Caspian stopped. “I wonder” he said as he leaned forward to lick the fluid off his stomach. “Different, but nice.” Ed assumed he was comparing it to a woman’s taste and he wondered how the other man tasted. He took action and reached his finger down to brush Caspian’s flare uncircumcised tip and brought the fluid up for a taste. It was sweet and salty and sharp all at the same time. He thought about it coming from Caspian’s arousal over him and trembled.

“Ed? We can stop.”

“No fucking way! I’m excited not frightened.”

Caspian smiled broadly as he shifted him and bent up Ed’s left to give him access before he reached for the lube. He warmed it rubbing it between his fingers before rubbing it against his crack. It felt warm and wet as he pressed his fingers and then circled his furled hole. It started to pulse driving Ed to press his ass back into him.  Caspian breached him in one slow smooth motion. It was so good to know it was Caspian, even if it was just one finger was inside him. Ed closed his eyes focused on the sensation and wanting to be filled with his cock.  He moaned, “More.”

“Clench and relax, then I’ll add another finger.” Ed opened his eyes to stare at him. Then he did as instructed finding the added thickness had his body tingling. He felt stretched but not painful so like when Jadis had the anal dildo in him. “I’m adding another finger now, so push out.”

“What?”

“It will open you up more. You need to know how to relax and open when I enter you. That is the trick, no anxiety, no doubts, just relax and open.”

He did as he was told and three fingers went in easily and he felt a stronger tingling wave flow over him. Any residual fear left him. Caspian did know what he was doing. Odd in a straight man. Maybe he wasn’t as straight as he seemed.

He seemed to be stretching his long fingers deeper and twisting. He then swept over a spot that pulsed pleasure through him and made him moan loudly. “Oh my god!”

Caspian grinned, “So the sweet spot does exist,” and he sweep over that same spot again and again. Ed felt he was drowning in pleasure.

“Are you ready Ed? Do you still want to?” Caspian pushed and twisted his fingers as he spoke.

“Oh…Oh, fuck yeah.” He smiled hazily up over at him. Caspian pulled out his hand and sat up. He rolled Ed on to his back and pressed his legs up to his chest appearing to study his hole. He let go, sat up, and grabbed a pillow. “Raise up so I can put this under you.”

He did as he was told and pulled his legs up to his chest, rolling as the pillow slid under him. Caspian put on a condom and lube before lining himself up with Ed’s hole. He thrilled at the feel of Caspian’s head pressed lightly against his rim. “Clench your hole, then relax and push out.”

Ed did eagerly and felt his open relax, “Okay” and Caspian slowly entered him pausing only part way in. It felt much larger than his fingers and it burned slightly but he could almost see that flared head buried in his ass and excitement charged through him.

“Breath Edmund.” And he did as he watched the man looked intent and eager at the placed they were joined.

“Give me more.” He commanded as Caspian push slowly in, filling him. The burn gave way to a tingling radiating though his body and he closed his eyes concentrating on pushing back and opening. He in was so incredibly deep it.

“I’ll only move when you are ready.” At that he opened his eyes and melted at the look of blissed out affection on Caspian’s face.

“Now,” he was caught by his eyes as the bearded man started with shallow thrusts that only had him wanting…. “More!” At that Caspian stroked deeper and moaned. He pushed his legs forward curling his torso to change the angle slightly. 

“Oh my fucking God, there it is.” He gasped and shuttered as Caspian picked up speed. It felt heavenly as the pleasurable tension built inside him.

He stared at Caspian’s glowing eyes that were trained on him as he grimaced through his passion. He felt into those beautiful eyes as his heart expanded. 

Still he needed more before he could cum, so he reached down to stroke his hard dribbling erection. His heart and senses went wild as his brain hazed over. He shivered and moaned unable to speak. All too soon the wave overtook him and he came gripping his cock tightly he cum burst out of him over and over again. Caspian groaned as he held himself inside pulsing as he filled the condom. He couldn’t believe how Caspian’s pulsing flowed through his body, too. They were truly one at that moment and his heart swelled in love that he could not articulate as he panted.

Caspian laughed and as he did so his flaccid member slid out of Edmund. He flopped sideways taking Edmund with him as he nipped at his panting open mouth.

Only when he caught a breath did the teen exclaim, “Holy fucking hell that was better than I ever fucking imagined.”

Caspian laughed, “You are too right Ed.” He sat forward and tied off the condom tossing it into the trash before grabbing the nearby towel to wipe Ed down.

He returned to his lips but this time he gave him slow and lingering kisses. His hold could only described as clinging and his look sober. He hugged him for a long moment before leaning back with a flushed face. “Ed, it’s never been like that for me. And I don’t mean because you’re male. I just…. Just haven’t felt so much before… when fucking I mean. It was amazing.” Then he gave him a shy vulnerable look that melted his heart even more.

“Caspian, it can be like that every time we are together.” He smiled back allowing his affection to show. His man’s eyes glowed like an amber sun on him. The teen snugged up to him and kissed him passionately. This was the most satisfying experience of his life and he knew he loved Caspian, even if he was afraid to say so it out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed this monster chapter. It was so nice to have Edmund and Caspian together that I just went all out. Please comment.  
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	20. Chapter 20 - Ominous Overtones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund was right, Jadis is not easily put off.)

The next day Lucy helped him out by asked him to take her to the mall. He was going crazy being stuck at home and wondered how he would ever be able to handle home schooling. He regretted his decision after she spent an hour dithered over which was the best value for a cashmere sweater from three different stories.

He felt much better after lunch where he made her laughing by impersonating an angry Peter. Suddenly she looked over his shoulder and her face fell. He turned to see Winter Jadis strolling towards him. He looked as beautiful and urbane as ever, but Edmund only felt anxious. He had texted him that he was grounded in a vain hope he would never have to see him again. Here with just Lucy he felt excessively exposed.

Winter wrapped a possessive arm around him and kissed him on his good cheek like he owned him. “My dear Pigeon, I’m so glad I was able to catch up you.” His eyes bored into him, cold and outraged, as he smiled simpering. Ed rolled his shoulder as trying to shake him off. Jadis only gripped tighter digging in his nails. Ed looked away so he would not see how much he detested him.

Winter turned to Lucy and began speaking politely to her. Ed was revolted by his touch and he felt he was cheating on Caspian when in fact it was the other way around. He repeated to himself, _‘He will not rule me ever again.’_ He knew he had to tell him they were done, but now that he was here it was much harder. He could feel Jadis commanding him to obey in his tight painful grip on him.

He was lost in thought until he heard Winter saying, “Lucy you are just as beautiful as Edmund here. If it wasn’t for him I’d be tempted to collect you, too.” He place two finger tips lightly on her cheek as she flushed. He saw her cold brave look and knew her to be angry. He stood abruptly knocking Winter’s hand away.

“Leave her alone and don’t you ever touch her again.”

Jadis smiled evilly, “Edmund my dear. You have nothing to be jealous of, I still only want you.” He leaned in for a passionate kiss clutching him tightly behind the head and forcing his way into his mouth.

He stopped leaving him breathless to say, “After all you are mine now. Why would I ever want to roam?” While speaking he raised an eyebrow that said much more than his words. Edmund spun up in fear infinitely worse than any he knew before. He was sure that if he left Jadis, Lucy would be his next target for conquest. He blanched at the icy cold fire that coated his insides. _How can I protect her?_

“Get off of him Jadis.” Lucy shouted garnering the attention of those around them. This was an incredibly public place and it gave Edmund an idea to escape Jadis.

“Winter, if you are going to hit on my sister this just isn’t going to work,” he fired back as he pushed Jadis away. He stared at him with his cold eyes.

Suddenly Jadis put on a hurt face and wailed loudly, “I didn’t do anything. You are the one who doesn’t trust me. Haven’t I shown how much I love you?” That was when he turned on the tears. He blathered about how badly Ed abused his love.

Edmund pulled Lucy close, shielding her. Then they began backing away, “Given I’m such a disappointing boyfriend it must be a relief that I want to end this. You should have no trouble replacing me with another _boy_.”

Jadis gave him one last cold look as he carried on his act for the crowd. Edmund didn’t pay him any attention as he quickly steered Lucy out of the mall.

Once they got home he sent Lucy up alone. He was far too unsettled to go in, besides he was meeting Caspian. He was confident Lucy would be safe after he instructed her to set the alarm as soon as she got in. She tried several times to get him to come with her, but he refused saying he had plans. Only when he promised it was not with Jadis did she relent. 

He had to talk to Caspian. Then they needed to discuss how to protect Lucy. He was distracted as he drove to Caspian’s secluded rocky stretch of shoreline. Only when he was finally there did he begin to calm down. He breathed deeply and sighed. Here his relationship with Caspian felt almost tangible in the brisk air. 

He heard a rustling noise and turned away from the lake hoping to see Caspian. He blanched as Jadis strolled toward him with stern disapproval etched on his face.  He sneered, “I told you before you are mine. How could you cheat on me? ”

He felt a cold shiver as his mind scream, _He knows! Why else would he be here unless he knows. Oh god, how does he know?_

“You are so pitifully predictable Edmund. Of course I followed you, you’re mine. How could you believe that slut of a man would ever want you? He just wants your cherry, but that is mine, too.” His eyes had an intense steel glint, so merciless but aroused. He’d seen it before. The last time he was bleeding.

He continued to speak calmly as he took off his gray overcoat. He casually pulled his knife from the coat pocket, belying the fervor in his eyes. “So now you have to pay. I am going to have you the way I have always want and nobody will be the wiser.”

Jadis was capable of anything and it caused Edmund to panic. He was caught between him and the water. He vaguely thought about swimming, but the water was far too cold. Edmund tried to push past him, but that only earned him a solid punch to his jaw. He landed hard on the rocky beach head spinning, disoriented. He tried to rise, but fell back. Only then did he place his hand on his head to feel the wet blood and he knew he was in deep trouble.

Jadis smirked as Ed realized he was helpless. He could only hope Caspian was quick. He started undressing, leaving his clothes on top of his coat. Ed struggled up but stumbled down again when he tried to rise.

Jadis laughed while removing his final pieces of clothing. “I do have to thank you though, I have all those witnesses that you broke up with me. Even sweet little Lucy will say how I cried. Then that tutor will come just in time to take the wrap.” _No, not Caspian!_

Jadis picked up the knife and smiled cruelly as he stepped toward him, knife out, with his cock standing out hard and erect. Ed grit his teeth and steeled himself to fight. He would not willingly submit ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all you kudos. This is a decidedly dark turn of events. Let me know what you think.  
> Thanks,  
> Anne


	21. Dire Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian finds Edmund)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any medical inaccuracies. I'm no doctor, so forgive me the latitude I take in this.

_‘I’m here, C U soon. E.’ Caspian_ smirked at the text message from Edmund. He was so use to clamping down his negative emotions that his joy caused a giddy eagerness to overwhelm him as he rushed out of class. He smiled insipidly throughout the long walk to the parking lot farthest out and even in the dull traffic jam at the open draw bridge. He was late, but he had no doubt Ed would still be waiting. He was slightly confused when he did not see him as he topped the slight rise before the slope down to the shoreline.

Moments later he saw the naked figure huddled on his side in a pool of something dark…and red… _Blood!_

He ran taking off his trench coat to cover him. His heart screamed in terror, but he automatically closed off his emotions and got to work. He was far too cold and pale as he felt his neck for a pulse. It was rapid and strained, but it was there.

"Edmund, wake up, I'm here and you'll be alright."

Edmund's eyes fluttered open and his mouth moved. After a moment he croaked out, "Caspian, n-no!" 

He leaned into kiss his bloody mouth briefly, "Edmund, it is alright. You’ll be alright. I'll take care of you." 

He turned to scan him for the injuries. He saw clumps of dark clotted blood on his skin, but far too much fresh wet scarlet blood was on the ground. He had to stop it, it would kill him before paramedics could get here. He moved his hand away from where it clutched at his stomach and the blood flow followed it. He examined it to see the wrist was cut parallel to his forearm. He held it tight with one hand as he took off his belt. He wrapped it snug along the length of his forearm before treating the other cut forearm to the same and buckling them together. He placed his arms up out in front of him away from the pool of blood and over his head to be sure the bleeding had stopped.

Only then did he listen to Edmund's as he continued to quietly choking out "C-Caspian, no! G-Go away!" Then he coughed sending a puddle of blood onto the ground.

Caspian turned to examine his torso and found fresh blood coming from a short knife sprouting from his abdomen. He chided himself not examining him thoroughly. He stripped off his white button down shirt. Wrapping a sleeve around the handle, he gently pressed the bulk of the fabric to the wound as he slowly drew out the knife.

Edmund groaned silently. Caspian looked up to see his eyes flickering as he bubbled blood from his mouth. He rolled him forward in an effort to clear his mouth but he could not let go of his pressure on the wound. _Could he breathe? Did he have blood in his lungs or his esophagus? How much blood had he already lost? Less than a liter, but what if it was more. How fast? He is still conscious, but how long before his organs start shutting down!_

He heard footsteps and without looking up called out, "Dial 911! Now! He is running out of time. Then put your coat over him."

He only looked up when Peter yell, “Edmund! Caspian what happened?”

The blond knelt beside him. The bearded man did not waste anytime answering, but demanded, "I think he is aspirating blood. Check on that. He has a knife wound and I can’t move."

* * *

 Lucy cried as she told the emergency operator her brother was bleeding, dying. She gulped down her fears and focused on explaining where they were. Soon she could hear the sirens all too slowly getting closer.

The operator asked her what happened, but she didn't know. She explained he was fine 40 minutes ago when he left home. About 20 minutes ago her brother came in to find Ed gone. They used his phone locater to track him and came upon Caspian working over the motionless and blood body of her brother. At that she burst into tears.

About that time the paramedics arrived and soon after she ended the call. They rushed in to take over pushing Peter and Caspian aside. Peter ran over to the police soon as they were in sight. Caspian continued to rapidly repeat. “He was fine about thirty minutes ago. His wrists were slit, so I used my belt as a tourniquet, but it needs to be taken off as soon as possible. The knife wound is just to the left below his belly button and I’ve been applying pressure with my shirt. He is cold with a rapid heartbeat and he has coughed up blood. Don’t forget the tourniquet…”

Two policeman approached Caspian carefully and pulled him away. She kept her bleary eyes on what little she could see of Edmund as the parametric worked on him. Then a distinctive clicking sound caught her attention. She turned to see Caspian being put in hand cuffs. He was naked to the waist and covered in blood, even on his mouth. Worst of all his face had a pale blank terror on it. He craned to get one last look at Edmund even as he was pushed away toward the police car that parked trampling the reed beds. She could not make any sense out of it. _How could the think he would do this?_

Peter came forward wrapping an arm around her protectively. “What about Caspian?” she asked.

"He’ll get what he deserves for this.” Peter fumed, “Edmund is just barely hanging on. He’ll have a chance if he makes it to the hospital....." 

 _'Just barely hanging on'_ echoed in her ears as her heart clenched. She felt suspended in time. She forgot about Caspian, about Edmund, about everything, as she regressed back to that terrible day she lost her parents. She spiraled down into despair as she heard a voice from her distance past, “Lucy dear, mom and dad are gone and they can never come back.” She clung to her siblings like a small child for months. Especially now she felt still that hollow spot where her parents had been. She gasped as a hole was opened in her heart for Edmund.

She blinked just noticing that Peter had his phone lifted to his ear and was talking rapidly to Susan. _How much time had just passed?_ The police car was gone and Edmund was on a stretcher rolling toward the ambulance. Peter had strained red hands and despair in his eyes. He wrapped a protective arm around her and she melted into him, crying. They walked down the path to his basic model Volvo his parents had given him when he turned sixteen.

They waited in the running car where Peter still held her tightly as she cried. When the ambulance left they followed it to the hospital.

* * *

When they arrived they saw Susan following the EMTs with Ed's gurney into the emergency room. She look up at Peter wondering how he would handle Susan acting in his place. He looked small and broken like he was eighty instead of 23 and seemed to hardly notice. He parked on automatic pilot, but she had to pull him out of the car and into the waiting room. He followed her lead, but did not respond or speak. This was seriously out of character for him. Even before their parents deaths he was bossy. She made sure the front desk knew they were here and went back to watch over Peter.

She hugged him by wrapping both arms around him from her seat next to him, "Only one of us is allowed back with him and Susan is already there." He didn't even look up and she shook him gently. 

When his eyes met hers she saw how utterly shattered he was. "It is my fault. I let him down. I should never have hired that fucking tutor."

"He didn't do this Peter. I don't know how he got there before us, but it wasn't him."

"Don't be so naive Lucy. He has been playing me against Edmund and lying to us the whole time."

"I'm not naive and it may be he has lied, but still. I know he truly cares for Edmund. He would never hurt him."

Peter shook his head, "It had to be him. He ran out of class like he was on fire today. He surely could have been there by the time I got home. His injuries had to be fresh or...” He sobbed slightly, “Or it would have been too late."

"There must be a mistake. No matter if he told a thousand lies. He has too much compassion to do anything like that.” She shook him until he looked her in the eye “He didn’t hurt him and I think he may have just saved his life."  Peter stared at her incredulous, but didn’t argue. He, like his other siblings, was reluctant to question her judgment.

He looked down at his hands wringing his fingers together like a child. "Still, it is my job to protect him and I obviously am not capable of it." Fat tears fell from his eyes, "I can't do this anymore."

Peter look beseechingly at her. "Don't you ever think that. He never would have made it this far without you. None of us would have make it if we weren’t together. You saved us all Peter." 

Susan rushed out pulling Lucy from her seat into a hug. She place a hand on Peters shoulder. Her eyes were dry and she exuded stoic strength. Something she hadn’t done when their parents died. Then she had been inconsolable.

"He was awake and calling ‘No Caspian’ when they started pumping plasma into him. They asked me to leave as they examined him. They said the doctor will be out soon to consult with us. They would not tell me anything so you had better tell me what happened.”

Peter put his face in his hands and started to quietly cry. Susan looked wide eyed at Lucy. She stepped away from Peter, beckoning Sue over. She told her what little she knew in a low whisper.

Susan became fierce and started to fume. “That bloody fucking bastard,” she spat.

“Susan,” her sister wined, “He didn’t do it. Everyone has the wrong idea. He has been protecting Edmund this whole time.”

“Lucy, don’t be taken in by him. You’re too young to understand, but he is just a shameless flirt. He doesn’t mean any of it. He’s been hiding his real self this whole time.”

Lucy hissed back, “He never flirted with me. He was just showing you what you wanted to see. If you would just get over yourself you might notice what is going on in your own family. Trust me, he didn’t do it. He just saved Edmund's life!”

Susan looked like she had been slapped. Lucy gulped out a sob as she leaned forward and fell onto her sister hugging her, “At least he tried to save him.” Sue automatically hugged back as she gawked stunned. 

* * *

An infinite time later, a nurse came forward and said the doctor was ready for them. Susan ordered, “Lucy, you wait for us here."

Peter shook his head as he lifted his face from his hands, "No, we go together.”

Susan whispered from the corner of her mouth, “Peter, this is attempted murder. Is that really appropriate?”

“Regardless, she is old enough to know the truth." Lucy nodded gratefully at him as he stood. She held Peter’s hand.

Her older sister stood in front of them holding her palm against Lucy’s shoulder as if to push her back into her seat, “Peter? No!”

“Susan, I _need_ her there.” She chewed her lip and looked at the determined set of her little sister’s face. She slackened her arm slowly and then wrapped an arm over her shoulder protectively as they walked to the consolation room.

A dark Latino man with shaggy straight hair and a worn black corduroy blazer over his white shirt stood to greeted them. He introduced himself as Detective Hunter Truffle from the Child Abuse and Sexual Assault Unit. As they entered and sat, Peter and Susan on either side of Lucy, he explained he was a victim advocate and, as such, he was here to support Edmund and his family throughout the recovery process. He reminded them that this was a violent crime under investigation so to protect Edmund no non-family visitors were allowed. In addition, they were not allowed to discuss any details of the events, injuries or investigation with anyone other than family. Lucy looked into his dark brown eyes that glowed warmly and nodded.

Doctor Digory was a grandfatherly sort with bushy gray hair and eyebrows over his sharp green eyes. “First of all, I understand that you Mr. Pevensie are the sole guardian for your brother. I must make sure the women here are of age and have your permission to hear all I am to tell you.” He glance at each girl sharply.

“Susan is 20 and has my permission to act in my place. Lucy is 15, but regardless of her age I want her to know all that is going on with her brother. You must understand, we are Edmund’s only family and we stand together.” Peter stared the doctor down, who appeared taken aback.  

“You do know son that this is a case of not only of attempted murder, but a violent rape also.” All three Pevensie siblings gasped. Peter gulped looking briefly at Susan who had pursed her lips and frowned. Then he turned to Lucy.

True she was startled, but it she was determined to know the worst. _This was what Edmund and Caspian had been hiding from her, the extend of Winter_ _’s neurosis._ She returned Peter’s questioning look with a stern steady gaze.

The doctor continued, “This is very hard stuff for any of you to hear let alone such a young teenage girl.”

“She is free to stay if she chooses.” He said as he turned to her. She nodded and he took her hand.

Detective Truffle intervened, “Doctor it is often family bonds that provide the most effective comfort for victims. That starts with facing the facts of the attack however unpleasant. If Peter gives permission and Lucy wishes to know the details, I’d recommend letting her stay.”

The doctor sighed. “It is a good sign that Edmund was still conscious when he was brought in. We were able to put him under in a controlled way, but he is still in danger. Most urgently right now is Edmund’s blood loss and associated low blood pressure. We are giving him plasma, but will need to do a blood transfusion. The amount of blood he needs makes the transfusion process long and risky. To minimize side effects including fever and allergic reaction we will use blood with white blood cells removed.”

“Once his blood level and the associated effects of the blood loss are stable, we want to do surgery. He has numerous external and internal injuries and we are carefully monitoring him for internal bleeding. Still the only way to be sure is to do an exploratory surgery of his abdomen and bowels. We will uses the least invasive techniques, but it will still be risky.

“The surgery will result in some blood loss, but it is the only way to be sure no internal bleeding is occurring. That is much more dangerous to his life than the risks of surgery. Overall his survival will likely be determined over the next 24 to 48 hours.”

Peter squeezed her hand tightly and slumped, while Susan had silent tears rolling down her face. Lucy’s outrage steadily increased and it afforded her the grace to listen without the fear that was affecting her siblings.

“Still you need to give us permission for his surgery and treatment plan. Let me innumerate Edmund’s injuries before we discuss your options. He has a single abdomen stab wound that appears to have missed his major internal organs. He has a concussion we are monitoring closely for signs of brain hemorrhaging. So far all the signs indicate that he has no hemorrhaging.

“The rape left him with at least one anal tear that we have been unable to address. He also has a cut through the sensitive sphincter muscles that we have stitched close. The highest risk with this type of injury is infection. 

“Both forearms have slit wrists that we were able to be effective close. The cuts while potentially fatal were thankfully shallow so vein damage will be minimal. His lip was torn, his cheek split, and his jaw deeply bruised. He has innumerable cuts and several deep bites that put him at risk for infection. The quantity of minor cuts is staggering, but that may have helped slow his blood flow and reduced the impact of the slit wrists.  In addition he has a reduced body temperature that maybe due to the combination of the cold and the blood loss. At 94°F it is not low enough to be dangerous, but he needs a normal body temperature and blood transfusion before we can do surgery. He is in ICU and we hope to do surgery tomorrow morning. Please ask me any questions you need to make an informed decision.”

Peter questioned the details and began to rally at this technical discussion after the shocking extent of Edmund's injuries. The worst part was the long list of possible complications. That made Lucy blanch. Peter whispered to her that for legal reasons all possible complications were explained, but most were unlikely. Finally he agreed to the surgery and signed the treatment plan.

Detective Truffle had been silent throughout this summary and mostly had observed the family’s reaction. He waited until the doctor was done and the Pevensies were ready to leave before saying. “Mr. Pevensie, I would like to discuss some details of the case with you in private. It is up to you if your sisters stay, but I do warn you this will be very difficult to you hear.”

Peter stared into his kind dark eyes and they seemed to hold a conversation. He asked his sisters to leave. Susan opened her mouth to protest, but Lucy who thought she knew somewhat of he would say wordlessly pulled her away. 

The detective nodded to the doctor who began, “Mr. Pevensie, I must tell you that Edmund has other injuries than those received today. Some of facial bruises were about three days old.”

“Yes, he got in a fight Saturday night.” Peter stated automatically, wondering why such a small injury mattered.

“So that is what he told you? It happens that in addition we saw signs of whipping on his chest, arms, and upper thighs from about three days ago to judge from the healing abrasions. He has marks on his wrist that appear to be multiple layers of rope burns. Finally he as deep bruising on his back that we believe was cause by a blunt object something like a cane about a week ago.

“In short, Peter, it appears someone has been assaulting him regularly for a while now. He likely knows the person who did this to him. You obviously didn’t know about this.”

Peter growled as he ground his teeth, while his eyes started to burn with fury, “Caspian!” 

Detective Truffle laid a hand on his shoulder, “Peter, I understand that Mr. Caspian has been taken into custody, but I’m not here to discuss suspects.”

“That damn tutor has been playing with me. I can feel it.”

“Once Edmund is out of danger we will talk to you about the investigation. Until then, let’s focus on your brother’s recovery.” That seemed to stall Peter’s rant. “The fact that Edmund has been hiding this from you is typical of the shame and guilt of being abused. Unfortunately this works to the perpetrator’s advantage. Still I need to know if he has been subjected to other attacks or has PTSD that would make him more susceptible to a perpetrator. To do that I would like permission to see Edmund’s medical history.”

Peter squirmed at the thought of Edmund’s previous suicide attempts and how close he came to losing him to the state over it.  He shook his head.

“Peter it is your right to deny me that permission, but I assure you no data from those records will be seen by anyone but myself. They cannot be released to the detective in charge of the case or used in court without your permission. I am not obliged to disclose any evidence gained. My priority is Edmund’s care and as such I work independent of the investigation.” Peter had lowered his head as he talked. The detective gentle lifted his chin with one finger until Peter looked into his intense eyes, “I promise you this information stays between us.”

Peter looked away pensive, “Alright, but know that I will fight to keep him with me at all costs.”

“Of course Mr. Pevensie. And know that I will earn your trust.” 

Peter carefully read and signed the form. He turned to the doctor, "Now I want to see Edmund," he announced.

"Mr. Pevensie I don’t think you are in the right state of mind to see him. Why not digest this information first." The doctor argued.

"I’m well within my rights. He is a minor and I'm his guardian. You have to let me see him."

"I still advise against it. He is quite badly injured and unconscious. You'll hardly recognize him and you’re already distressed at his condition."

"Still I will see him. Now." Peter proclaimed loudly.

“Doctor, I will escort him,” the detective offered. 

Doctor Digory sighed, "Alright, but only with detective Truffle as your escort and only for 10 minutes.”

* * *

Edmund looked small and pale under the harsh lights. He had far too many machines monitoring him. _He looks shattered._ Peter’s heart broke to think of his pain.

He remembered his relief at finding him alive with no more than scratches after the accident. This would be what his parents would wanted. If only one could survive, that it would be him. Edmund had been given a strong sedative and slept through the night, yet Peter stayed with him holding his hand and weeping. He wept for his parents, for his brother having to see them die, for his sisters, and for the end of his youth. He let go and cried almost all night until he felt strong enough to leave that room as an adult and father to his siblings. He was determined that Edmund would not be scarred by their deaths.

He sniffed and blinked out fresh tears, knowing he had failed. Edmund felt he was at fault for the accident and nothing he said could ever change his mind. Now he was letting someone do this to him and he was convinced part of the reason it happened was Edmund’s own guilt. _What had changed to bring it forward now?_ Peter remained still as he clenched his fists at his side and flush as fury ran through him. _He would make Caspian pay._

Detective Truffle studied his face but made no attempt to speak with him. When his time was over he laid a hand on his shoulder. Peter came away with him quietly while trying to casually wipe his eyes.


	22. Chapter 22 - Swirling Accusations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Caspian talks to the Police)

Caspian was taken to an interrogation room with two detectives that frowned at him from weary eyes. They took in the dried blood on his bare chest. He could image with his long hair and beard they thought of ‘Charles Manson’ when they looked at him. The officer sat him down, but didn’t unlock the handcuffs. He handed the detectives a report and then stood behind Caspian's chair. He had already sized up the detectives and they were as jaded as their jackets were worn.

He began thinking fast as he looked down and held still.  Sure he was innocent, but it would be easy to find the one at the scene guilty and they would want easy. He knew more than most about the legal system since his grandfather had training him to follow in his footsteps. He knew money was the number one way to work the system and criminal law couldn’t be that different. He had no money and likely no home. He was screwed.

The slightly younger and overweight detective kicked his foot. “Sit up, we want to question you. We are recording this.” The older one turned on the audio recorder.

“I have nothing to say without my lawyer here.” He spoke clearly and maintained soft eye contact to show he want to be treated with respect.

“You have not been arrested yet. We are just having a talk.” The older man reasoned as leaned back with a grimaced smile.

“Then you can unlock these handcuffs and let me clean up,” and he raised his arms slightly behind his back. He continued to maintain eye contact.

“You see the rub is you might be the one we are looking for and with such a violent crime, we aren’t taking any chances.” The heavy man had cold hard dark eyes. He reiterated he wanted a lawyer. After some negotiation they sent for a public defender. Ms. Smith was in her late thirties but had a worn and tired look that made her seem older. She pulled out a notebook, asked his name and the alleged crime. They simple handed her the report, but did not state the crime.  

“I deserve to know my accused crime,” He reasoned.

The older man blandly stated, “Aggravated assault, criminal neglect, and obstructing justice.”

He was shaken at the words, even though he had braced himself for it. How could he expect otherwise considering he was found at the crime before 911 was called and how he looked. On top of that the only thing Edmund had said was “Caspian, No”. _Shit, when you put it that way it looks bad. Really bad._ His heart began hammering to escape his chest. _But, Criminal Neglect?_ That had to be due to the delay in calling 911, but he knew he was right to wait. He had helped save Edmund by working on him, but he knew it looked bad. Briefly he considered staying silent but he really wanted them to catch Jadis and not waste time with him.

He began his story of finding Edmund trying to keep it confident and succinct. They all jotted down occasional notes. The detectives kept their expressions neutral, but somehow still looked accusing, the public defender looked just as bland as her name. 

About the time he finished the story they were handed new reports. These were several pages long and they took the time to read them. By this time Caspian was feeling dizzy and disoriented. His heart was still pounding rapidly, his chest ached for news of Edmund.

He couldn’t keep from asking, “Do you have any news of Edmund? Will he be alright?”

“He is alive but in critical condition, we cannot tell you anymore.” He gasped as his chest tightened and all blood seemed to leave his body. His head swirled as he went cold. _Edmund might not survive! Edmund! How did Jadis get to you?_ Against his will he felt tears running down his face. He could barely keep his trembling under control. Now at his weakest point they began the cross examination in earnest.

“Why didn’t you call 911 as soon as you arrived?”

He coughed to try and get his emotions under wraps. He knew short clear answers were less likely to be taken the wrong way. This question irritated him and he used that redirect his emotions. He lashed out, “Because he was bleeding profusely! I’m in medical school and I knew I had to stop the bleeding before he died. It couldn’t wait for the parametrics. Just as I was getting it under control Peter and Lucy arrived and called 911.”

“Why do you have blood on your mouth?”

“I told you already,” he replied stumped. 

“No you haven’t,” the round detective smirked.

He paused, he didn’t? Maybe because Edmund didn’t want anyone to know about them, but he couldn’t hide anything. A lie now would only make him look guilty. “I kissed him before I started to work on him,” He admitted before letting his eyes droop.

“Oh? Tell us about it.” He leered.

He bit his cheek to keep from reacting. In a small voice he said, “As soon as I arrived I covered him with my coat. Then I told him ‘It would be alright’ and I kissed him on the lips.”

“What was his response?”

He cringed mentally but told the truth, “He said, ‘Caspian, No, go away.’” He looked down.

“What is your relationship with the victim?”

He inwardly groaned but hid his response, “He, I mean we… are lovers.”

“And how long has that been the case?”

“Since Sunday.”

“This Sunday? Would he say this relationship is consensual?”

“Absolutely.”

“Can anyone corroborate this relationship?”

“Edmund.”

“Besides him.”

“No,” he admitted, glad his jittering legs were under the table.

“How did you know he would be there of all places?”

“We had arranged to meet there after my last class today.”

“Why such a secluded spot?”

“It was a favorite spot of mine. I wanted to share it with him.”

“That isn’t an open part of the park. How did you find it? How many people have you taken to this place or told about it?”

“I found it a few years ago exploring the park. I’ve told nobody but him.”

“Did anyone else know that you and he would be there?”

“No.”

The older detective looked at the report, “It says you are a live in tutor with his family. That sounds complicated, tell us about your relationship before you became lovers.”

“I befriended him since he was being bullied at school. Over time our affection grew.”

“Did you often get angry with him?”

“No…” He considered how things looked to Peter earlier this week. “Um but we have disagreed a couple of times.”

“When was the most recent _argument_?”

“Sunday night.”

“Did you ever strike him?”

“No, never!”

“Are sure, they found signs of past abuse.”

“No,” he had to tell them, “It was his boyfriend.”

“I _thought_ that was _you_?”

“No, he has a boyfriend at his high school.”

“Is that why you tried to convince his brother and guardian to take him out of school?”

At that he lost whatever slim margin of control he had and began shouting, “I did that to protect him! That bastard has been beating him regularly!”

“And how would _you_ know something like that?”

He blanched, “because….because I treated his wounds.”

“Did you tell his brother and guardian?”

“No.” He shrunk back again.

“So maybe you can tell us what past wounds he has?”

He growled out, “From Saturday night he has whip abrasions all over his chest with some on his legs and arms, along with a bruised and abraded cheek. He also had bruises on his back from Thursday.”

“Why would you hide something like that from his guardian?”

He felt heat flush his face, “I-I promised Edmund I wouldn’t. I thought I could protect him.”

“What were his injuries tonight?”

“Slit wrists, bloody lip, cuts, and a stab to the stomach.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Not that I could see.” He answered blandly, but his swirling mind flashed a warning.

“Have you had intercourse with him?”

“Yes,” he blanched at where this was headed. He never should have let Edmund talk him into making love.

“When?”

“Monday night.”

“So he was whipped Saturday by his boyfriend. You became lovers Sunday and had an argument that same day. What came first the lovers or the argument?”

“Lovers. We disagreed because I sided with Peter on grounding him, but then I explained it was to keep him safe.”

“Then Monday you fucked. So, did you penetrate him?”

He hung his head again, “Yes.” He turned to the public defender, “You can stop them anytime you like.”

“Mr. Caspian, as interesting as your torrid love life is, they have not actually accused you of any crime yet.” She responded with a face barren of any emotion.

He opened his mouth to respond, but the large detective snarled, “He also has a large anal tear.”

This completely derailing any thoughts Caspian had and he reacted instantly. “What! That fucking bastard raped him!” He shouted as tears flood down his face. He slammed his face into the table, grateful for the pain and sobbed rocking back and forth. The policeman behind him pulled up by his shoulders.

“Did he have that tear already?” Barked the big man into his face.

Caspian allowed his pain to show looking directly at the older man, “NO! I would never hurt him. I love him. God can’t you see how much this is killing me.” He hung his head weeping and as the policeman let him go he slammed his forehead into the table again just to stop the images that flew into his mind.

Vaguely he notice that the detectives and public defender leaving the room as he cried. _He had to calm down, now._ Still panic for Edmund was overriding his attempt at reason. _Oh Edmund hold on,_ he thought as his whole body shook violently.

By the time they came back he was only half aware of his surroundings due to the painful emotional haze cast over everything. He was charged with criminal neglect and obstructing justice. They asked for DNA and bite patterns. He distantly recalled agreeing before as he was taken away. 

* * *

Caspian was placid through booking and offered no resistance to any directions. They photographed him, fingerprinted him, took a DNA swap, and bite imprint. Finally he was placed in a holding cell. He was thankful to finally be left alone, un-handcuffed to wallow in his distress. He cried through the black desolation.

After some time he came back to himself. He had no idea how long he might have been there or what time it was in the windowless flickering light of the cement block room. He was in a small one person cell, located well away from the nearest occupied cell. He sat up trying to think of anyone he could call for help and came up empty. His grandfather had done a good job of isolating him. He had scared away or bought off any friends he made during college. He had no actual friends other than Edmund. Sal was the only one he could even think of to call, but they were hardly more than acquaintances, let alone ‘one phone’ call material. Besides she had no money.

Still he could at least try not to look like a rapist. He was thankful for the small sink with rough paper towels. He had no soap, but did the best he could to clean all the blood, _Edmund’s blood,_ off himself. All the while he saw Edmund at the beach covered in his own blood. _Is Edmund dying as I’m stuck here?_ He paced the cell blaming Jadis, himself for being late and for even asking him to come there, Peter for not keeping him home, and finally Edmund for landing himself with a psychopath. Finally emotionally exhausted again he curled onto a fetal position on the bunk wide awake shivering in fear and desperately praying Edmund would survive. He stared at the blank cement wall beyond the cell bars that danced with images of his battered body.

Only when he was called by name did he realize he must have slept. It felt like an anguished limbo, more than sleep. He had dreamed perpetually of Edmund bleeding out the last of his life alone and calling to him. He was being held back from helping him by two faceless men with roughly the same profiles as the detectives that interrogated him. The larger man cruelly laughed the whole time.

He was handed an orange tee shirt that he gratefully put on. The officer handcuffed him again before he was led away. This time he followed an imposingly large detective with bushy blond hair and a small dark haired detective.

They led him through an office area to what appeared to be a private office. Caspian shrank away from the stares, keeping his head lowered, knowing what he looked like with his beard, long hair, and blood stained khakis. He looked like a sadistic rapist and soon, no doubt, he would be charged as one.

The officer waited at the doorway as Caspian entered and then left the room. He got his first look at the detectives as they turned around. The large man seemed wild, almost like a lion, with his beige woolen jacket, broad chest, and long blond beard. Yet something about him was calm and reassuring. The smaller man was dark with black eyes, yet he looked gentle. He had a fleeting hope that they might actually listen to his side of the story. _That is just wishful thinking._ He sagged as he stood silent in front of the desk.

“I am Sargent Angus Aslan, head of the Child and Sexual Abuse unit and with me is Detective Hunter Truffle, Edmund’s victim advocate. Coffee or tea and how do you take it?”

“Coffee black,” he answered flatly, knowing he couldn’t drink it in handcuffs and Detective Hunter left the room.

“Mr. Caspian, may call you Mir…”

“Just Caspian.” He mumbled automatically head down. He spun up at the thought of another interrogation. How much abuse could he take? _Still he was better off than Edmund._ The ache in his chest grew, but his indignation was soothed.

The small man brought coffee for all three of them placing it on the desk. Then he shut the door and locked it. He came up behind him and unlocked the handcuffs. Only then did Caspian look up.

“Why would you un-cuff me?” He asked as Detective Truffle circled back to face him.

“Caspian, please sit.” Sargent Aslan gestured and he dropped abruptly into the hard chair bewildered. “I want you to tell me what happened. Any further humiliation is unnecessary. While I cannot go against the charges brought without compelling evidence, I can do interviews as I chose with proper precautions.” His slow deep voice sent a balm through Caspian and an odd fluttering in his stomach.

Caspian blurted out, “Please, how is he?” His eyes rose to look at Sargent Aslan’s bright golden ones with a silent plea.

“I am not allowed to tell you.”

“I’m going mad with worry, please tell me something.” He brushed his hands into his hair and gripped his head. Slowly he worked his way down to his neck. He lower his hands to clutch the edge of the desk and begged with his eyes.

Sargent Aslan watched him and gave a slight nod, “Know that he is holding on, but it is too soon to say if he will survive.”

“What time is it?” He asked as his grip tighten as his fingers went white.

“It is about 10am Wednesday morning.”

He calculated 20 hours since his injuries and he was still struggling. His eyes darkened and his face twisted. He leaned his elbows on the desk and put his head in his hands, “How could you possibly think I would do this to him?”

“You have only been charged with neglect and obstruction, not the actual crime. What can you tell me about the crime? I seek only the truth right now.”

He whipped his head up and shrieked, “That bastard Jadis needs to be caught!”

The Sargent made no reaction and spoke in his slow measured deep voice, “So, you think you know who did this?”

“Yes, he has been abusing him for a least a month and I have tried to get Edmund to stay away from him. I finally talked Peter into grounding him and home schooling. Then-then this happens.” He spat as he internally berated himself for luring Edmund out of the house.

He held his hand out palm up, “Caspian, please calm down. You will have your chance to speak.” Somehow he believed he would listen and he concentrated on his breathing to calm himself. “I have seen the interrogation notes, but they appeared incomplete. It is obvious this situation is complicated. Pease tell me all you think is relevant going as far back as you deem necessary. We have all the time you need.”

He looked sharply at him, evaluating his open face, and then Detective Truffle’s warm eyes before returning to the Sargent when he spoke, “That you know more than Peter and his family about this situation is evident, but that does not denote guilt. Please allow me to hear you side of the story. Details you can provided may make the difference in this case.”

He lifted his chin, “I want a lawyer.”

“Of course your lawyer is welcome. I see the public defender, Ms. Smith, was with you yesterday and she is here today. Of course I’ll need to handcuff you again for security sake.”

He sighed thinking hard as he gripped the coffee and took a sip. The public defender was indifferent at best and did nothing to protect him last night. On the other hand the handcuffs were so demeaning. He felt equal to an interview for the first time since being arrested. It was amazing what a wash, a T-shirt, and free hands could do. “I don’t need a lawyer, but I want them to have access to your notes on this meeting.”

“As you wish, _my son_.” Something about the way he said ‘my son’ resonated deeply with Caspian yet he shook off the feeling since in confused him. “Please begin in your own time.”

He gulped. Somehow in the few minutes he had known Sgt. Aslan he trusted him far beyond what he should. Yet, he knew himself to be utterly alone and penniless. He could only rely on the truth. He instinctively sensed that this man wouldn’t twist his words for an easy conviction or could it be wishful thinking. Still some detail only he knew could be the key to catching Jadis. He filled his lungs and huffed out a breath before he started the story of all his time with the Pevensies.

He found both men to be attentive and sympathetic listeners. He told them about everything. He told them about the Edmund’s nightmares, how he broke through his coldness, the roof, how Ed thought he deserved to be punished by Jadis, even that he fell in love with Ed, as he sipping coffee from a Styrofoam cup to ease his raspy throat. The Sargent asked only a few probing questions that seemed to pull out more than he remember about what had happened. He saw now what had eluded him before: Edmund’s overarching guilt about his parent’s loss, Edmund’s heart ache over him, and how Jadis used both to control him.

When he finished Sgt. Aslan told him, “This is quite enlightening. I appreciate your candid information. Now do you have someone to call? Can you post bail?”

“No, neither.” He admitted.

“In that case I will work on getting you released, but that will take some time. I’m afraid you will be here another day or two. Still if anyone tries to interrogate you, ask that I or Detective Truffle be called in.” Caspian nodded glumly but figured since he didn’t have a home he should be in no hurry to leave.

As he was handcuffed again and taken back to his cell he wondered if he was wrong to trust Sgt. Aslan and tell him so much. Still he debated, I have nothing but the truth to defend me. If only they could get Jadis. He dearly wished some DNA evidence would point to him, but knew that type of evidence tricky to get and even more problematic to interpret. It was difficult to say if it would prove anything other than Jadis had touch him sometime that day, just like it would surely show he had also. _He was screwed and Edmund was dying._ He began to cry again idly wondering how he had any tears left.


	23. Chapter 23 - Staunch Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Lucy navigates through rough waters.)

* * *

Edmund felt like he was floating, but at the same time he felt leaden. His dreams had been disturbing, but now he felt warm and comfortable. A strong masculine hand gently cupped his cheek and he leaned into Caspian's touch. He felt his other hand squeeze his upper arm. He whispered sleepily as he nuzzled closer, “Caspian.” 

“It’s alright he is gone.” He wondered why Caspian sounded so sad and… weird.

He tried to open his eyes, but everything was blurry, besides he was drowsy, “Who’s gone?”

“You are safe from Caspian now.”

This perplexed him, “No, don’t say that, I want you, Caspian.”

He growled, “No you don’t. Not after what he did to you.”

He told his lover, “But, I wanted you to do it.”

“Shh, you are safe….” He gave a bleary smile. “Caspian will never bother you again.”

That finally got through his chaotic mind, “What?!” He opened his eyes but, he still couldn’t focus. He noticed he could hear odd beeping noises that had been there all along but had become more urgent. He went to sit up and then the pain came. Any awareness of his surroundings left him as agony assault him from his gut and he began gasp curse and whimper.

“Call the nurse, he needs morphine.” _Peter?_ Then gently he said, “Edmund, you’re going to be alright.”

 _‘Edmund, you’re going to be alright’, e_ choed in his head has a blurred memory, yet it was more compelling than the pain. He knew Caspian was panicked when he said it, but the part that didn’t make sense was that he so desperately want him to go away. _Why?_ He would always wanted him.

Through his tears he called out “Caspian! Where is he? I want him. I need him.” Then warmth surged throughout his body and he drifted away into an uneasy sleep.

 

* * *

Lucy blanched as she understood what Edmund’s words meant and how close he and Caspian had become. Peter seemed to infer the worst from that confession and he’d gone red, gritting his teeth. Susan reacted to his mood by pulling him away from Edmund as she said, “What was that about?”

“Caspian has brainwashed him. Thank goodness he was arrested. He will never see him again.”

Lucy knew it was unlikely he would listen. Still she owed it to Edmund to try. “Caspian is not the problem. I keep telling you, _he didn’t do this._ ”

He reprimanded her, “Lucy you are too young to understand what he said, but it was all the confession I need.” 

“Peter you are the one who doesn’t understand. He is in l…” She countered and then bit her tongue.

“Both of you stop!” Susan yelled, “Don’t argue, it won’t help Edmund.” Lucy glared at Peter and then her sister.

When the nurse asked them to the consolation room she welcomed the distraction. When they entered the room they saw Doctor Digory, Detective Truffle, and another man Lucy liked immediately. His eyes x-rayed and warmed her soul. That was fast even for her, but his face held an intense warmth that she couldn't help but bask in. She stared captured while Peter and Susan focused on the doctor’s report. He smiled back kindly and winked. She turned quickly to listen, as she should have been all along.

“… very fortunate he had no significant internal organ damage. So since Edmund has woken up I expected him to progress quickly. Still I’m concerned that he was in considerable pain when he woke and had to be given more pain killers. What happened?”

“He became agitated and tried to sit up.” Peter replied.

The doctor looked at him sharply, “He shouldn’t even have the energy to try. What did you say to him?”

“I told him would never have to see Caspian again.” Peter said with his chin high.

“Mr. Pevensie I advise you to refrain from discussing any case suspects with Edmund.” Sargent Aslan cautioned, “Especially when he first wakes.”

“Yes,” Agreed the doctor. “He’ll be disoriented and, given a head injury, it will likely take time for him to recall the traumatic event. You must refrain from any repeat until I say he is fully cognizant. I’ll keep him in ICU for now, but I tentatively hope to transfer him to a regular room later today.” Lucy sighed and sagged gratefully into her chair. 

The doctor discussed details of the surgery and continued treatment with Peter and Susan, while Lucy let her mind wander. Poor Caspian, Peter blamed him for everything. He didn’t know it has been as painful to Caspian as it was to each of them. _Oh! Caspian doesn’t know anything of this, he must still think Ed is still in danger._ Peter would never let her go see him, but she needed to do something. She looked over at Sargent Aslan. She wondered if he had seen him. Yes, they had to have spoken, he called him Caspian. Still he was the law and wouldn’t give him a message. She tried to think of other adult she trusted. Doctor Digory finished, said his goodbyes and left the room.

“Now that Edmund is out of danger, I’d like to speak to you about the case. Would you be willing to make a statement?” Sargent Aslan inquired.

Peter turned to Lucy. “Let me do all the talking. You are too young to get involved in this.”

“Peter, I’m already involved. I want to testify.” She half cried and half shouted.

“Lucy, what has gotten into you?” Susan asked aghast.

“Mr. Pevensie, if Lucy wishes to testify you cannot prevent her from doing so. Still, I am willing to allow you to be present during her statement given the circumstances. Furthermore, I can start with your statement before speaking to her. Agreed?”

Peter’s glaring eyes traveled from one man to the other. He hunched like a hawk and grit his teeth. Sargent Aslan firmly yet calmly held his gaze while his deep steady breathing grew louder to envelop the silent room. Slowly the tension ebbed and Peter finally agreed. Detective Truffle explained the process for a statement and set up a recorder.

“Please begin whenever you are ready.” Sgt. Aslan indicated as he started the recorder.

“I was in class with Caspian when it ended at 1:30. He sped out of class heading away from home, likely toward the far parking lot on the lake. I walked the opposite way home. As soon as I got home I found Edmund was gone and I began looking for him. That must have been around 1:40.”

“Why were you so eager to find Edmund? Had you a reason to believe he was in danger? Surely just having a seventeen year old away from home was not a cause for such a search.”

Peter staunchly replied, “He was in trouble with me. He had gotten in with a rough crowd and I grounded him on Sunday. He broke the rules.”

“Have you met any of this rough crowd?”

“Uh, No, but he has a girlfriend in the group.”

“Can you give me her name,” Peter shook his head, “any names?”

“Uh, Jamis or Jakus maybe, but they just studied together. I have no reason to believe he was involved.”

“And when was the last time that happened?”

“Thursday, but I don’t see how that has anything to do with this.”

“So, how did you know he was in with a rough crowd?”

“He begged to go out Saturday for a date. We had plans for that night, but he insisted on breaking them. Then he returned home at dawn drunk with a bruised cheek…”  He stopped mouth open as he paled, “You think one of them could have done this to him? Still I didn’t see him until about 2pm that day. It still could have been Caspian who did it for all I know.”

Sargent Aslan rumbled, “Mr. Pevensie, I never make any conjectures. Especially not in such a serious case. ” More sedately he went on, “Where did he go that night and who was he with?”

“Um, he didn’t tell me.” Peter confessed.

Lucy squeaked softly, “I know.” Everyone turned to her and she blushed brightly. Peter glared as he leaned toward her. She blinked under his stare.

“Please Peter, let your sister speak,” the Sargent growled. He backed off and gave a curt nod. The Sargent's slow measured voice permeated her, “Go on Lucy, please tell us what you know.”

Lucy cast a worried look at Peter before she stared into Aslan’s eyes. _He has to know about this._ She trembled as she spoke, “He was on a date with Jadis, Winter Jadis. And he told me that um... He hit him.” Her siblings gasped.

“HE! What do you mean he?” Peter shouted as he stood leaning over her again.

“But why would he….” Susan mumbled.

Sargent Aslan boomed, “Peter, if you cannot contain yourself, you have to leave.”

Peter stepped back from the table. He began pacing the small open space, “But he couldn’t be… He said he had a girlfriend, didn’t he? … And that hickey…How could I not know… Could that be why he was bullied…? How long has he…?” All eyes followed him. Susan had stepped in front of Lucy who was still seated and protectively held her arm.  

He stopped and turned his pale confused face to Lucy leaning slightly around Susan, “He is gay?” Lucy’s nod stunned him and he flopped back against a chair along the wall. He put hands over his face.

Gently she heard, “Lucy can you go on now?”

She gasped in a breath turned to the sergeant. Susan stood behind her protectively.  She looked into his eyes and began speaking fast, “He told me that a smart remark made Winter angry and he hit him, but that hit was all that happened. I wanted to believe him, so I didn’t press him. I had already warned him against dating Winter, but he wouldn’t listen. I was worried every time they were together, but I let myself be placated. Caspian was just a worried as I was. Then yesterday at the mall I could see he was acting. Ed broke up with him and I thought it would be over. Ed still seemed worried and brooding. Then he said he was leaving after he dropped me at home. He promised he was not going to see him. I believed him. I should have stayed with him instead. It’s my fault.” She started crying.  Susan pulled her up and turned her so that she could hold her tightly to her chest stroking her light brown hair.

“Lucy dear one, you are not to blame. If you were there you would have been hurt, too. Don’t take this on yourself.” She felt Aslan’s words touch her heart and ease her pain.

Detective Truffle cleared his throat, “Sargent, I suggest we continue this at another time.”

Susan glared, “My siblings are not equal to any more discussion. It has been a very long day.”

“Agreed, I have let this go on too long. We will talk to later.” Detective Truffle handed out cards to each of them, saying that they could contact him at any time. He went on to say he could arrange private confidential counseling for each of them if they desired it.  

 

* * *

Ed woke to beeping. He remembered the pain from before and he still felt it deep yet muffled within his body. He was anxious and cautious. He listened keeping his eyes closed. He heard the beeps, background noises, and soft breathing nearby. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at a stark white ceiling. He began taking stock of himself, the pain was focused on his lower gut and forearms.

He heard rustling and then a tired Susan appeared leaning over him. She squeezed his hand and whispered like a prayer, "You're awake, Edmund,    thank god you're awake." Her exhausted face was full of such tenderness that it reminded him of his father. He was stunned, could it be she truly loved him.

She quavered, "You'll be alright, Edmund." He rolled his eyes, he really should get use people saying that. Suddenly he had an image of Caspian saying those same words and he gasped.

"Edmund?" she asked concerned.

He curtly replied, "I'm alright, Sue." She leaned in and kissed his check. He frowned, but was not actually displeased. It was nice to have her fuss over him for a change.

"I'll wake up Peter and...”

"No," how could he tell her he didn't want Peter's wrath brought down on him so soon. He didn't know what had happened, but with Peter it would be his fault. Besides he wanted to keep this rare version of Susan here as long as possible.

"What happened Sue?"

She blanched and made inarticulate noises. "You don't remember?"

He remember driving, then fear, and so much pain. "No. A car accident?" he said as his brow furrowed.

"No," she hesitated and chose her words carefully. "You were attacked."

"Attacked, how? … By who?"

She chewed her lip, "We don't know," and she wouldn't meet his eye. "Don't worry about that now. Just get better."

"Sue," he whined, "tell me."

"We are not allowed to talk about it without the doctor’s okay." She was always a stickler for rules.

"Anyone else hurt?” Then fear hit him, “Is Lucy okay?"

"Lucy and Peter are fine, just worried and finally sleeping."

"Caspian?"

"He was, um, unharmed." She again shifted her eyes away from him. _What was she not telling him?_ He was too confused to really think about it. She hurried to explain it had been just over a day and he had surgery this morning.

He didn’t want to know about his injuries yet. He asked to sit up to redirect her. She raised the bed and warned him not to move much. It was then that he noticed the soft restraints on his arms and ankles. His eyes went wide and she rushed to say the first time he woke he tried to sit up, so they added the restraints.

He saw Peter on the couch with his head back and mouth open. Lucy was curled into his side. She was fine and he sighed relaxing.

Sue went on about how he had lost a lot of blood. He saw his body and all the smooth sealed cuts. _Knife wounds_ , only one person would do this, but how did he get to him? Sue went on about how they were up all night praying he would make it. She didn't notice his wavering attention.

Lucy opened her eyes and sat up starring. She stood, rushed over, and touched his face. "You’re awake?"

"I know," he smiled, "I hear you've been waiting a long time for this."

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his temple and beamed at him.

"Caspian?" he whispered.

She frowned, "He's not here." She looked intently into his eyes, "But I'll get a message to him for you." _That was a promise_. Susan glared at her, but said nothing.

"Thank you." He said knowing she would understand what to say to him. He settled back feeling fatigued as his sister fussed over him. He let their words float over him and he was soon asleep again. 

~*Lucy*~

Susan and Lucy left for home about an hour later. Peter insisted that he would stay since he had a good few hours of sleep. He seemed annoyed he missed Ed’s waking and appeared determined to not be caught out when Edmund woke again.

At home Lucy fretted over her words in the meeting with Aslan. She felt terrible about admitting to Ed’s secret in front of Peter, but she wouldn’t let Jadis get away with it. She couldn’t believe he was cold enough to do this, but he had hurt Ed before. He had to be the prime suspect. She worried about what Peter might say to Ed when they were alone, but she couldn’t do anything about that now. Hopefully he would wait, given the doctor’s warning.

So after she had messed up things so badly for Edmund she had to stand by him. Right now that meant standing by Caspian. Lucy dithered about how to help him. She even talked to Susan. While she was willing to admit Caspian could be blameless, she wanted to let things take their course without interfering. If Caspian was innocent he would surely be released. He had to have other friends that could help him. She left unsatisfied, shaking her head. She knew in her heart he would be desolation over Edmund. He needed her help.

Several hours later she had an idea. She snuck out of her room next to Susan’s and went to the Library. She locked both doors before pulling out her phone to make a call.

 


	24. Ch. 24 - Unpredictable Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund and Caspian find themselves in unusual situations.)

 

* * *

Edmund wondered when the penny would drop with Peter. The last time he woke when the doctor was there, so thankfully they only discussed his injures. _Fuck,_ _Jadis did quite a number on me._ He couldn’t remember the incident but he was sure it had been him. _No wonder I hurt everywhere. How had I survived? How had anyone found me in time?_ After that he was moved to a new room. Peter hovered anxiously but didn’t try to speak with him. He was so exhausted from just being awake for thirty minutes that he crashed immediately.

It was dark out when he woke again in his private room. Thankfully Peter was asleep on the small reclining chair. He looked younger asleep, his face wasn’t pinched in annoyance at him. He was the same age as Caspian, but somehow Peter seemed infinitely older. He knew how it would play out. He would shout at him and he would shout back. Then came the painful part, he would see the resentment is his eyes before he stormed out. He didn’t know how to avoid it happening.

He quietly watched him recalling how different it had been when he was little. He thought Peter hung the moon. One time, about eight maybe, he had been running in and out of his mother’s office as she worked. She must have reprimanded him a few times already, but he didn’t stop. The final straw was when he slammed into her desk upsetting her papers and nearly knocking the laptop off the desktop. She scowled, lifted her fists and yelled, “Edmund you are a terror. You are by far the worst of your siblings. Get out now!” He started crying.

“It was my fault mom.” Peter quickly slid in with downcast eyes and stooped to pick up some papers placing himself between her and Edmund. “I’ve been urging him on all morning,” He lied.

“Peter dear, you know better than that. You’re the oldest and I expect you to set an example.” She complained but was obviously placated.

“I’m sorry, mom.” Peter pulled him out the door as he left the room. He didn’t even lecture him, all he said was be more careful next time. Then he rubbed his back until he calmed down. He was so different now, he had been in trouble with Peter since the day they died.

An older motherly nurse came in and beamed down at him, “Sweetie, you’re awake. I’m Debbie and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” She checked his vital signs, and explained the pain killer release button as she gave him the hand held trigger. Peter woke but he was silent, so he pretended not to notice him. It was easy with the whirlwind nurse bobbing around him. She continued to babble, “I know the food they serve is bland, but I hope you’re on solid food by tomorrow night. I make a mean praline pumpkin pie. People go on and on about turkey, but to me it’s not Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie.”

He gasped, Thanksgiving already? She rubbed his upper arm one of the few places that didn’t hurt, “Oh honey, don’t fret, just push that button in your hand and the pain will go away.” He gave it a fake push at her prompting. He was finally awake and he didn’t want to end it so soon. Peter stood at her words and she turned to him, “Peter sweetie, why don’t you get some coffee while I finish up with Eddie here.”

He glance at him and grimaced, “Y-yeah good idea.” Edmund thought about faking sleep when he got back but was side tracked when Debbie offered to hold the urinal for him. He blushed a bit, but she was discrete and he found he really did need to go.

By the time Peter was back she was helping him do leg stretches as she explained that he needed keep his circulation active to prevent blood clots. Peter hung back waiting as he sweated and groaned. Just the slight leg movements has his gut aching enough that he punched his pain killer button repeatedly.

She laughed, “Honey, that will only give you so much, but I’m almost done.”  Finally she left giving a cheerful goodnight.

Peter approached his bed solemnly, “Edmund, I…. I’m so glad you’re awake.”

“You look like hell Peter,” He deadpanned.

Shifting his eyes up and away from him for a moment, he ran a shaky hand through his hair, “Yeah, well, you still look worse.”

“Well?” He challenged glowering at him.

“Well what?” Peter asked nonplus.

He spat, “Go ahead yell at me. I don’t remember what happened, but it is always my fault.”

He blanched, “Ed, I-I don’t…” He looked to the ceiling with his mouth opened, pausing. With shattered eyes he looked down at him, “What have I done to you?”

He stared confused, but still defensive, “You didn’t put me here. I did something stupid, go on and just get the lecture over with.”

His brow creased, “You think all I want to do is punish you? When did it all go so wrong between us?”

He scowled like an angry bird of prey, _“_ When I let our parents die.”

“Ed, you didn’t, you couldn’t,” he let out a frustrated groan, “I have only ever been relieved and thankful that you survived, Edmund.” He shook his head. Peter huffed back at him, “Why can’t you believe me?” He carded his hair again, brushed a finger across each eye, and chewed his lip.

Edmund continued to stare and would have crossed his arms, but he could hardly stand to move them. Something felt different about the look in his brother’s eyes there was the usual annoyance, but something more elusive that he could not quite place.

He raised his hand to tenderly brush Ed’s cheek. “You don’t trust me anymore, do you?” he said as his brows scrunched together and his eyes softened again. _What? “_ Ed, I’ll make it up to you.” He grimaced and his eyes burned, “I’ll protect you, it’s my responsibility.”

He glared at him and sneered, “I don’t want your protection, _Peter_.” His older brother’s open face slammed closed like a door and he dropped his hand away. Ed looked away and stared at the wall, “I’m tired now, so just let me sleep.” He huffed.

Peter backed away without a word and dropped back to the easy chair. Edmund closed his eyes mind spinning, _what the hell was that about?_ His empty stomach clenched painfully and he pushed the button. He didn’t feel the tears leaking from his eyes as he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

 

* * *

Caspian gratefully drank any water given to him, but he hadn’t been able to eat anything. He had spent most of the day staring at the wall, dwelling on thoughts of Edmund. _Could he survive? If he did would I ever see him again?_ _And Jadis, would they even bring him in for questioning or was he underage?_ _What would that evil bastard do next?_ _Might he even finish Edmund off, so he couldn’t finger him?_ That thought turned his blood cold and broke his heart even more. That was so much worse than never seeing him again.

When he heard the rustling of a guard he said without looking up, “Take dinner away, I don’t want it.” 

“I’m here to speak with you Caspian,” He looked up to see neatly dressed usually short man with salt and pepper wavy hair and keen blue eyes. He tutted, “You really need a friend don’t you?” He was much too kind to be a detective.

“Who are you? Did Sargent Aslan send you?” He shook his head.

A policeman rushed up behind the man, “What are you doing here? I asked you to wait.” He demanded of him.

“I’m waiting with my friend Caspian here.” The officer shook his head and rushed past him unlock Caspian’s cell. He stood immediately and stepped forward hands out in front of him for cuffing. The officer merely stood back in the opened cell door and tilled his head indicating he should get out. He followed the stranger mutely into the next room, while the officer followed behind him. 

In the other room he asked for Caspian’s signature on a release form and began his standard speech, “You are being released on $10,000 bail and are expected to return…” He stared blankly at the stranger who had turned around to face him smiling. He mildly wondered if this was a ruse set up by his grandfather. _Does he want me enough to spring me and keep me indentured?_ When he found out the charge he wouldn’t. Especially since he would be very stereotypically gay and total out in front of him. _I will never bow to him, even if it means going to jail._ Still it was not like him to missing key information like that, so he probably planned to try and shame him. _Good luck with that,_ He chuckled.

“I’m glad you mood has improved. My name is Cornelius, Reginald Cornelius.” He reached out a stubby fingered hand to shake, Caspian took it keeping his hand soft. He may as well start the act now.

“Oh my god, thank you, I thought I would die in there.” He gushed as he gave his chest a limp wristed smack.

He smirked in an oddly pleased way, “Oh, my John will want to meet your right away. Let’s go.” He walked imperiously past the officer who silently handed Caspian an envelope with his belongings.

He led him to a Lexus hybrid and got in the front seat making himself comfortable. He considered that he could be headed into a trap, but he had time. His grandfather couldn’t hurt him that badly when he was expected to be available for court. Besides he didn’t expect that Miraz would try to see him until his subservience had been secured.

“So you may as well tell me Grandfather’s angle. I’ll find out eventually.”

“No angle, no grandfather. I’m a simple doctor.”

“Yeah, if that is the case, why are you helping me?”

“My friend insisted.”

“ _Your friend_ insisted? And gave you 10K?”

“Oh, I supplied the money. I trust her judgment.”

He frowned, that did not sound like his grandfather. He paid for services or bartered in debits. This didn’t add up from anyone he knew, unless, “So are you Sal’s sugar daddy?”

He laughed, “Who?”

“Sally Carson, but she doesn’t know…” He never did call her or anyone else.

“Caspian, relax you are with a friend.” The bearded man frowned. _He knows to call me Caspian and he is a doctor…_

“I need to get clean clothes. Can we stop at my apartment first?”

“I’ve taken care of that.”

“You bought clothes for me?”

“No, I have your clothes. You should stay away from the penthouse.”

“How?” H _e was able to get my clothes from the Pevensies?_ He lunged across the console to grip his shoulder. _“_ Edmund! How is Edmund? What news do you have?”

“He is going to be alright, his blood transfusion went well and the knife wound was superficial,” He rattled off grinning.

He released him and sat back elated. Then he leaned forward to put his face into his hands as he gasped out sob after sob. He was desperately trying to hold it back, but he couldn’t. He felt like melting ice, like spring.

At a traffic light the doctor reached over to rub his back, “Yes, we are all very relieved.”

They pulled into a modest two story home in a good neighborhood north of the university district. He had pulled himself together, but he stayed back wary. The doctor handed him his backpack and a duffel bag from the trunk. He following the doctor as he walked into the back door that opened into a cozy family room with a fireplace. A slim man with a trim black mustache and equally trim hair that matched his black apron came out to meet him leaning down to kiss the doctor full on the lips. Caspian blinked to see such a display in front of a stranger. The smaller man turned and introduced him to John, his partner.

John looked him over with mild distaste, “You likely want to clean up. The spare room has an attached bath with everything you need. Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes.” He frowned as he quickly left the room.

“He is just fussy about cleanliness, he means nothing by it.” The doctor said as he led him away.

He shrugged unconvinced. He knew he looked a mess, but his reaction was mild for the charges brought against him. Still the thought of a shower had him practically salivating and willing to accept stoically whatever John’s attitude would be at dinner.

Over dinner the doctor detailed Edmund's injuries. He found John sympathetic and readily believed Caspian had saved Ed’s life. Then they moved on to other topics, but he had no interest in small talk. As soon as the conversation lagged he asked, “So, who called you Doctor Cornelius?”

“Please call me Reggie.” Caspian just continued to wait, “As if you didn’t know… it was Lucy.” 

“She is a brave hearted girl and I really appreciate what you have done for me. Tomorrow I’ll be on my way.” He wondered where he would go, but he couldn’t stay.

“Nonsense, its Thanksgiving and nobody should be alone.”

“It is simply another day and I need a new job if I am ever to repay your kindness.”

“The police expect you to be here, you must stay.”

John chimed in, “Yes Caspian stay. I am sorry for the cold shoulder when you entered. It was careless after all you have been through. Please accept my apology and stay.”

He looked between them and shook his head.

Reggie began, “Don’t be silly. I’m not doing this for you, it is for Edmund. I cannot bear the thought of that boy loosing someone else he cares about.”

Caspian’s stomach lurched, “What did Lucy tell you?”

The men shared a look and Reggie cleared his throat, “She told us you were wrongly accused. She said you’re alone without a home or job.”

His look hardened, “What else?”

“She said you helped Edmund from the start. You save his life that time on the roof and again just yesterday.”

“And…” He prompted at his continued silence.

He took a deep breath, “She said you were close.” He raised an eyebrow. Reggie shift uncomfortable and John nodded at him encouraging, “She thinks you two are in love.”

“She knew!” He stood and began pacing the room, “Oh God, I had to tell them for during the interrogation. It will be public record. When Peter finds out he’ll kill me. He is still a minor. What if they charge me with statutory rape? Will Peter even let him testify?”

John jumped up and walked beside him, “Caspian, I’m a lawyer. The only honorable one out there. He is at the age of consent and he did clearly consent didn’t he?”

He nodded, “Of course, he practically coerced me into it.”

“Rest assured Peter can’t keep him from testifying. That law is in place to protect minors. Together we can build a case that your actions saved him.”

He simply shook his head as he walked. He could not burden these men any more, yet where could he turn?

“Caspian, I want to nail the sick bastard who did this to him. I can only do that if you are cleared.”

Caspian stopped pacing to look into John’s deep brown eyes, “Yes, that bastard has had his claws in Edmund for too long.”

“What? You know who did this?” Reggie interjected.

“Um, it is a long story and it will take some time. The short answer is Winter Jadis has been bulling, torturing, and playing mind games with Edmund for two months. I’ve tried many times to end it, but only on Sunday was Edmund willing to accept my help. I convinced Peter ground him so he would be safe. I just don’t know how he got to him and I don’t have any proof.” He sagged back into his chair, even his hair felt tired, “I’m sorry but I just can’t face telling the whole story again today.”

“No, you need not, just eat what you can and rest. We’ll talk in the morning, right Reggie?” John added briskly with quelling look at his partner’s questioning face.

He pursed his lips, “Yes, of course.”

 

* * *

Edmund woke as Nurse Debbie wrapped a cuff around his upper arm. She cooed to him to go back to sleep. He look over to see Peter sleeping again.

After the nurse left the room he began to wonder where Caspian was and why he hadn’t even tried to see him. Surely Lucy could have spoken to him at home, so why hadn’t he come? For a little while he had been sure Caspian had actually cared about him. Had he deluded himself? Maybe, because Caspian wasn’t really gay. Besides, he probably wouldn’t want him after all that he let Jadis do to him. He had always been angry about him not breaking things off with Jadis, as if he really had a choice. Now Caspian had an excuse to end things with him. Maybe that was what that desperation in his last memory of Caspian was about. He began shedding silent tears as he pushed the pain killer button in an effort to find forgetful sleep.


	25. Chapter 25 - Faulty Recall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Edmund's recovery continues.)

He hovered on the edge of consciousness as his body igniting from the inside out. He fought to stay present for Caspian. He heard an odd wailing that he only vaguely registered as himself.

“You’re mine and I’m the only one who will ever have you.”

_No, I won_ _’t let you. Caspian, I belong to Caspian._

Hands bruised his hips while nails dug in and a bite stung his back, but they were only tickles compared to the agonizing sliding inside him, cutting as it pounded in and out, so many times. He could feel his hold on reality loosening as his head throbbed and his body shook.

He opened his eyes to stare at the water lapping the shore. He focused on it, away from himself as he repeated in his head “Nearly over. Hold on Ed. Don’t let him win. Don’t you dare die on me,” in a voice that sounded like Caspian's.

“Your blood is so delicious, so sweet, so… ah.” Jadis trailed into a long low moan as a sharp sting burned his insides. He only whimpered as Jadis released him, slid out, and dropped him on the stony beach causing what little air he had gasped in to leave him. 

He started, disoriented to stare into Peter’s soft worried eyes in the dark. He was brushing his wet cheek and hugging him, “… hush Ed, it’s alright, I’m here. You’re safe now.” His heart skittered out erratic beats as Peter started to hum a lullaby and ran his hand over his hair. It was just like when he had nightmares as a boy and Peter would comfort him. He realized he must be dreaming, but it all felt so real. At least the pain was gone, just leaving the fear thumping through his heart. He breathed, “Just like you use to.” 

“Good, relax, sleep. I’ll be here.” He crooned, his voice deeper than he remembered.

He blinked awake to focus on the adult Peter holding him. “P-Peter?”

He was morose as he continued humming, “Sleep, I’ll be here.” He was confused, as Peter pumped his morphine drip button. All he could do was flutter his eyes shut as sleep took him away.

He woke with a faint ring of the lullaby in his ear and was thrust into the daylight of the hospital room. Peter was asleep with his head resting on the bed. It had been real, Peter held him and hummed a lullaby. _What the hell?_ _First Susan and now Peter were going soft on him._ Still it would only last until he was out of the hospital. Peter would blame him for it all.

He tried to remember the details of what must have been a flashback, but like a dream, it is was indistinct and became more so as he tried to focus on it. It had been Jadis, but he could not recall any specific details to incriminate him. Only the fear, pain, and helplessness remained along with the image of the water breaking on the shore. _Fuck!_

The only seemingly real memory he had was of Caspian there. He told him he would be alright. The rest was confused conjectures on how it happened. He recalled he was on his way to meet him at the lake. Maybe Jadis followed him, but then how was he injured and Caspian wasn’t?  Had Caspian attacked Jadis? Maybe that was why Lucy had been so reticent to talk of him. He vaguely wished he knew the police had Jadis, but he doubted it. If that was the case Peter wouldn’t be so solicitous, not when he knew he had a gay brother, especially if it came out he was a masochist, too.

Fear trickled through him as he thought back on his encounter with Jadis at the mall. It was not for himself, he made it clear he would target Lucy to get back at him. He had wanted to speak to Caspian about it, but he was MIA. He couldn’t risk waiting. He’d have to tell Lucy. He hated to frighten her, but what choice did he have.

Peter stirred and stiffly lifted his head blinking at him. He smiled up at him with creases striped along one cheek. “Ed, you’re up.”

As he spoke a young male nurse entered and wrote the name ‘Will’ on the white board. “Good morning Edmund. I’m Will your torturer today. It is time for your walk.” He laughed as he began lowering the rails on the bed side near the door.

“Wait he is not ready to walk yet.” Peter protested.

“Oh but he is. Usually he would have been up the day of surgery. You are lucky to be well enough to get up.”  Will smiled as he gathered together the IV bags on rolling pole. Ed thought he looked more like a surfer than a nurse with his blond hair blue eyes, tanned skin, and swimmers body. He smiled thinking he wouldn’t mind leaning on him.

Peter gaped and frowned, “He is my brother I’ll help him.” He stepped forward.

“Later you can. For now it is with staff only.” He chided as he moved the bed so Ed was sitting up. “Come on Edmund,” He positioned himself to wrap an arm around him as he inched him forward.

Ed was too shocked to even object. Then as Will lifted him all he could concentrate on was moving without falling apart. His gut ached and pulled as he moved ever so slowly. It felt as if his insides would burst and flow out all over the floor so he wrapped his sore arms over his stomach. “Easy, take your time,” Will coaxed as he slowly stepped one foot in front of the other on the cold floor. It took forever to get to the few steps to the door.

“Good, now we’ll walk down a few doors down, Okay?” He chirped. Annoying friendly jerk, he thought as he tried to turn to give him a glare. He halted at a sharp pain in his low back.

Next thing he knew Peter was on his other side holding his upper arm and hand. “I’ve got you.”

“He can do this on his own.” The nurse argued.

“I will not leave him alone with you.” Peter protested as Will frowned.

“I’m the trained medical professional. You are only getting in the way.”

“I’m staying by his side.” It was like Peter was afraid of Will influencing him. _How weird._

“Alright, but let go of him.” After that Will focusing on him again as Peter hovered like he was about to catch him.

After an excruciating walk three doors down and back he sunk into the bed gratefully. He faded into a morphine sleep vaguely noticing the way Peter was still glaring at Will.

By the next time he woke, Susan and Lucy were there. Lucy leaned forward and kissed his cheek, “Happy Thanksgiving Ed.” She whispered to Ed, “Sue wants Peter to go home and sleep. He insists he doesn’t need to.” She turned to the arguing Peter and Lucy, “Stop it, he is awake now.”

“Peter, go home. I’ll be fine. I’m not a child.” He fired toward him.

Susan continued, “I’ve got this, Peter. I’ll let you do night shift again, but now you need rest.” He huffed and turned to Edmund. He gave him a long searching stare that made him seem so … fragile. Ed just scowled at him, so he wondered what he found in his eyes, but he nodded at him and left the hospital room.

Then Susan fussed over him. Lucy sat back just holding his hand lightly while her sister droned on. Once she caught his attention she gave him a penetrating stare trying to tell him something. He had one thought, Caspian. It took a while before he could get Lucy alone by going on about how he wanted a Popsicle. 

“Alright, tell me what is going on with Caspian.” He started without preamble.

“Ed, I’m sorry, He…they… they think he did it. They arrested him but he has been released on bail.”

“What the hell! He couldn’t…. he wouldn’t….”

“I told them that, but nobody listened to me. I’ll keep trying. Still he can’t come see you.”

“How totally fucked.” He moaned.

“I don’t know much, but I know he has a place to stay.”

“You know this is a total witch hunt. He didn’t do a thing but find me.”

“You don’t understand. He didn’t call 911, I did. That was suspicious, so they had to do something. I don’t see how they have a case, but still if you keep ask for him it will look… Just don’t draw attention to him or your relationship.”

He started to retort, but her words sunk in. He changed the subject. “Lucy, Jadis will be after you. Don’t take any chances.” She stared and scowled.

“He did this to you didn’t he?”

“I can’t remember, I can’t be sure.”

“You went to see him after you promised, why?” Lucy accused.

He clutched her hand, “No I didn’t. Listen, don’t go anywhere alone. Promise me you will stay safe!” He demanded.

She nodded as Susan walked, “What is going on?”  Lucy scowled, “He says won’t go for another walk.”

“Fucking hell, I can’t stand this,” he growled forcefully. Both girls frowned and Sue said he could wait until after his Popsicle for the walk.

After a walk he lapsed to a daze. His sorrow always so near, swallowed him and he only vaguely notice their worried conversations. The rest of the day passed in a blur. Caspian was all he thought about. He spun in his morphine induced nightmares swimming with pain and heartache. When awake he barely responded to his family or the man that was his ‘advocate’. It all was so hollow and useless. He had ruined Caspian’s life. He knew who did it, but he couldn’t even recall the event to bare witness and clear him. Even if he could, Caspian would never want to see him again.

By the next day his morphine dose was reduced and he was forced to rejoin the world. That meant a longer meeting with Detective Truffle. After describing what little he remembered and asserting he had no more information to share he was stunned that he stayed to talk with him.

“Edmund, I want to talk to you about what to expect in your recovery. You may not remember what happened but your subconscious does. It will come out in other ways. You may have nightmares, panic attacks, or irrational fears. You may dwell on past traumatic events. The most important thing you can do is allow yourself time to heal mentally as well as physically. Challenge any feeling that is out of the norm. Counseling will help and I’d like to refer you to…”

“I won’t go.” Ed stated flatly waiting for the argument.

The dark man frowned slightly, but only calmly asked why.

“I’d rather not go through the empty drama.”

“What about a support group? People who have been through this type of thing.”

“They have a gay support groups?”

“Edmund, I’m talking about a rape support group.”

“Oh” He looked down, “But, I’m not. Don’t tell anyone I am.”

“You must understand you were rapped. You were sexually assaulted in a particularly violent way against your will. That is true regardless of your sexual orientation, whatever that may be.”

He knew that, he just couldn’t help the shame of it all. He had to hide it from Peter and Susan. He couldn’t lose them, not now that Caspian hated him too. He didn’t want to be alone. He felt tears well up in his eyes and hoped the detective didn’t notice.

“It isn’t your fault. Nothing you did caused what happened.”

He turned red and shouted, “How can you say that? How do you know I didn’t ask for it? Maybe I like it rough and things just got out of hand?”

The ever calm man simple said, “Look me in the eye and say that.” Edmund was caught by the depth of those black eyes. He saw sadness and kindness and deeper still acceptance. He couldn’t speak or tear himself away. “I don’t that is true. Don't get caught up thinking the worse of yourself. The world his hard enough, don’t help it along Edmund.” He stood, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

After he was gone Edmund wondered if he might sincerely care, but dismissed him almost immediately. Just pretty lies that never come true. _This was just his job, he could never actually care about me._

Peter continued to stay nights with him. He stayed awake to study through the night and watch over him. When he invariable would wake disoriented and afraid Peter he would rush to comfort him. He held him, talked to him of better times, and when the worst ones hit he would hum. It was like the accident had never happened. After they were gone Peter could hardly stand to look at him, let alone come to his room if he was crying. Not like he did for Lucy and Susan. It would be hard to lose him all over again when he knew the truth. While he was here he could pretend he had his brother back again.

Against his will, he improved quickly. He was still eating a special diet, but was well enough to go home on Sunday to his fucking empty hollow life. Peter said that Caspian’s things were gone and it would be like he had never been there, as if Edmund would be relieved. If he only knew just how painful it was. All he could think was how Caspian would never want to lay eyes on him again, but he would never be able to forget him.  All he had left was a family that could never know and that annoying bare spot in his memory.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment. I live for them.  
> Thanks, Anne


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